"Anything." He was gazing at her with unabashed adoration, and it was quite touching, despite the fact that she knew he was a cold-blooded killer.
“You make me feel safe,” she said softly and kissed him, snuggling close, wrapping herself around him. Lord but she wanted hours of making out with this man.
"You know I'd kill anyone that hurt you," he said bluntly when they came up for air. "You're special to me, to us. You are safe within these walls. We might come close to breaking you. We might leave you sore and bruised. But our promise still stands—we'd never hurt you permanently, however much Plague wants to brand his name on you."
She shivered with the idea of that. “I would take it, if it meant I could keep you all,” she said softly, knowing she could with him. “Because I know it’s not to harm me, but to own me. You all do already.” She kissed him again, nipping his full bottom lip.
"We're not going anywhere," he said, looking slightly confused. "We'll be here next year, and the year after. As long as you're willing to fulfill the pact."
She wanted more, wanted it all. “That’s thepact. I want you beyond that. Life gets lonely when I only feel alive for two days a year.”
"All of us?" To her surprise he didn't seem to be averse to the idea. He certainly wasn't freaking out the way Snake had.
She nodded. “You don’t think you guys consume my entire life? I can’t imagine my life now without the idea of you seven in it.”
"Well yeah, but we're also hard on you for the time we have you. Do you think, physically, you could take this every night of the year?"
“Do you think you would want to do this every night? You wouldn’t want just...I don’t know, to have time with me like we are now? I’m not against living this two-day life every day if I have to. It beats being lonely without you all.”
"Probably not," he said after a pause, and she appreciated that he was taking the time to give it real thought. "I don't know how it would work, though. We'd have to talk about it. Maybe weekends. You're going to have to sleep sometime."
She laughed. “Having the seven of you in my life all year...spending time with you...the naughty is a plus. I want to know you, and you know I’m trustworthy. I want this. If I’m the one you come to for this, the one that welcomes it, and I do by the way...” she let it hang. “I want to be with you, for real, and not just as part of your pact, but as more.”
"Leave it with me," he told her. "I'll speak to Devil and the others. But..." he trailed off and sighed. "You know it might not to be up to us, right? Just because this works, the pact works, doesn't mean the Elders will automatically approve your entrance into The Order."
“I don’t want to be in The Order, Leo, I want to beyours.” She cupped his beautiful face. “If I have to join The Order? Sure. If I’m your forever sacrifice, I’m okay with that, too.” Leaning in, she kissed him again. They were quiet for long moments before she tilted her head to look at him. “Tell me about you. I mean, I know you like to run, and you like watching me, and sticking needles in my skin, and you like piercings.” She palmed him through his slacks.
"You know I like doughnuts and red dresses, too," he joked. "But I have a whole life outside The Order, outside these nights. Would you believe me if I said I own a small pharmaceutical company?"
“Yes, because that tracks,” she giggled. “What got you into it? I mean besides the needles?”
"Frustration, I guess," he replied, looking sad. "We're doing research and clinical trials on mushroom-derived treatments for depression. They've known about it since the seventies, but for some reason no one has managed to get a drug FDA approved and it's costing thousands of people their lives every year. I thought I could change that."
Gods her heart...her sexy needle-wielding psycho wanted to help people. The juxtaposition was almost comical. She kissed him. “That is noble and pure,” she whispered to him. “I love that. A friend of mine passed in high school, killed herself because of depression.” She swallowed down the ache in her throat. “We miss her every day.”
“And it's so preventable!” His passion for his work was evident in the anguish in his eyes. “They know it works! The evidence is overwhelming. But we have to tick all the boxes and dot all the I’s and cross all the T’s. We're closer than anyone has ever been before, though." He took a deep breath and seemed to relax his shoulders by sheer force of will. "I'm sorry about your friend. I know it bothers you that we killed before we met you, but I use the gifts the Dark God gives me to drive the research forward. It's a balance."
“The deaths didn’t bother me like you’d think,” she said after a few moments. “Like yes, gut reflex? It felt wrong, but it wasn’t the death that felt wrong...people die every day for something larger than themselves. It justfeltwrong.” She shrugged. “But when you caught me, I was scared, but it didn’t feel wrong. Does that make sense?”
"Not really." He smirked and she swatted him. "But seriously, your lack of self-preservation skills are really quite impressive," he teased. "No fear at all this year, despite how crazy we get."
“It feels...I don’t know...right?” She grasped for the words. “Look, I was seriously closed off before you guys, and you opened me up to things that, yes, scare me, but also ended up making me feel so good. It’s not like I learned to like the things you did; it’s more like I was introduced to things I already liked.” She smirked. “I trust you, all of you, because it doesn’t feel like I’m like others,” she offered. “Death, killing...some people just need to die, and some people enjoy killing. I have done a lot of research on the subject, trying to understand you seven, and I’m not averse to blood, or killing, but it has to feel right, Leo. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
"Do you believe in fate?" he asked her curiously. "I didn't, not really, until just now. But I can't think of any other explanation for how we just happened to stumble across a woman that just gets us."
“I...I guess? Honestly, I wasn't sure what happened that first weekend was a good thing at first. Then I realized that I was alive, and happy, only with you."
"You were so cute that first year," he chuckled. "My god...you were like a deer in the headlights. You kept squeaking." She jostled around as he burst out laughing.
"I was thrust into a wild forty-eight hours with seven dudes that might kill me! Before you guys I had only been with two men. Total. I think a little squeaking could be forgiven!"
"Really?" He seemed stunned by that. "But like, long-term relationships? Because you sure knew how to fuck like a champ, even scared out of your wits."
She laughed. “Thanks?” She shook her head. “That might have been just because I knew my life was hanging in the balance? My inner porn star just showed up.” She giggled. “But only one was long-term—Ted, my high school sweetheart. He broke up with me in the first year of college. Then there was Lewis. That lasted about a month before he cheated on me as well.” She shrugged “After that? It had been...over a year? Yeah, about sixteen months. Between Ted and Lewis? Twenty-four months.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t popular, and neither of them were any good.” She winked.
"They both cheated on you?" His jaw dropped and then his eyes went stormy. "Ted and...Lewis? Their days are numbered. Assholes."
“Ted and I, we were kids. I never thought it would be forever. I was surprised it lasted into college. He’s happy now, with a wife, and twins on the way. He was a good guy, and he found what he was looking for. The girl he was with? He’s still with her now. Lewis, I never understood why he asked me out in the first place, but...” she shrugged.