Page 30 of Bitter Poetry
“I’ll be jacking off to the memory. Now. Tell me how she tastes, asshole, I need to know.”
“Like sweet, young pussy.”
Christian smirks. “Later, brother.”
He stays there, and I step outside.
I’m whistling as I head back to my car. I don’t know why the fuck I’m whistling. I’m probably going to be dead in an hour.
Maybe Christian isn’t the only member of our family with the crazy gene, after all.
CHAPTER 11
CARMELA
The sidewalks flash past the windows of the car. I sit in the back with Jessica. Our destination is a wedding boutique where a dress will be commissioned, post-haste.
A dress.
I don’t want a dress. Getting one takes me a step closer to marrying Ettore.
What I want is Dante.
God, Dante. Why did he do that? Why did he mess with my mind, showing me all that will never be mine?
I’ve been really stupid.Naïve,I correct.
I feel used. Betrayed. Once more.
Secrets and lies.
Telling Ettore would be the sensible thing, to disconnect myself from the event, which was wrong on every level. More importantly, non-disclosure is its own kind of risk.
The necklace is still around my throat, hidden underneath my sweater. Its mere presence taunts me about what I should’ve done and did not.
I’m complicit now.
Doesn’t that make me an even bigger fool?
If I tell Ettore, Dante will be dead.
I don’t want Dante to be dead. I don’t even want him to leave me alone.
“It will be our little secret.”
My fingers itch to touch the necklace hidden under my clothes. I slept with my fingers around the heart all night.
“Lie for me.”
Only, lying doesn’t come naturally to me. My face is a giveaway. Really, it’s not my forte at all. Jessica? She could probably pull it off.
I guess I will learn.
My mind is stuck in a loop, remembering what he did to me in my father’s study. Making me believe it meant something, only to crush my hopes.
We took a stupid risk; one I must put behind me and out of my mind. The truth? I’d give anything to do it again, for him to put his hands on me once more.
“If you were mine, I’d have taken the time. But you’re not, and this is all I’ve got.”
