Page 61 of Beaches, Bagels & Babes
“I won’t ever tell you how to feel. But hate is a strong word, and I don’t believe you mean it.”
Beneath Candace’s hand, Daisy’s bicep flexed with her clenched fist. Still, she did not move away.
“The little girl dancing in that commercial,” Candace told her, “the one I met who was so proud of her new peanut butter bombs… the one who poured her heart and soul these last few weeks into renovating the whole cafe… I’ve seen real, repugnant hate, and none of that seems like it to me. Burnt out, maybe. Resentful. But I know you love what you do. I think you just need to not feel like it’s theonlything you do.”
Daisy sucked in a sharp breath as if Candace’s words dealt a physical blow. Candace’s heart broke for her, but it needed to be said. The truths people actively denied themselves were the most painful, she knew.
“You’re allowed to live for more than bagels, Daisy. You’re allowed to live for yourself and pursue what you want. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.”
Despite Daisy’s tense posture, she had not shrugged herself free from Candace’s hold. She did not stop that same handfrom moving to brush away the tears that had started to streak her cheeks.
Daisy let loose another hitched breath. In a voice that was barely audible over the wind and waves, she admitted, “I don’t know how to stop feeling this way. Part of me has always resented how my parents leaned on me, even when I was too young. But they’re also some of my most cherished memories. I remember when we made that commercial. It was such a long day, but we had so much fun and we were so happy… How could I forget?”
“You’ve been hurting this whole time. It’s easy to forget things when you’re in pain.”
As Candace finished her tear-gathering, she stroked a lock of hair that escaped Daisy’s bandana back into place. It could have been her imagination, but the woman seemed to lean into the touch even as it drew away.
Candace admitted, “You know, I feel like I ruin things, too. They told me I wasn’t cut out for ‘serious” work, and made me feel so guilty for not appreciating the easy life I could have if I just married some rich asshole. I ignored them, I kept on pushing, until I ran face-first into a wall. But, just because I hit one wall, doesn’t mean I won’t go through the next one.”
Daisy made a thoughtful sound, almost like a hum.
“For me, I think the pressure got to be too much and I just… gave up. I’m not even sure when I stopped believing I could do more. I accepted this was how things were, and there was no point in hoping for more. My life was only going to get worse.”
Candace promised Daisy and herself, “It doesn’t have to.”
“No. Maybe not. Ever since you came back to Wonderwood, you’ve been making me think that. Pushing me.”
Guilt bubbled inside Candace. “I don’t mean to force you, Daisy. I know I can be a steamroller, but I swear, if you want me to stop, just say it and I’ll leave you alone. I—”
“Don’t go.”
There was a definitiveness to the words that set Candace’s heart pounding. A wrenching, pleading needfulness, too. Thehands that moved to grip her sides and turned them chest to chest were steady, somehow, despite their trembling. Slowly, as if one wrong move would scare the woman away, Candace looped her arms around Daisy.
“That settles it, then. Hate me, but I’m here to stay as long as you want.”
A hot puff of breath scorched Candace’s neck as Daisy agreed, “Hate… is a strong word.”
Chapter 16
Daisy
Getting home last night, Daisy did not sleep a wink.
How could she after such a moment likethatwith the last person she wanted to show such vulnerability to? Which ended with a hug so intimate, so soul-twining, it made her blush more than any sex act. But, an internal voice whispered, if she did not want Candace to see that side of her, why did it feel sogood?The relief she felt letting it all out was wild. Not only that, but Candace’s response was cathartic.
It was like seeing the world from a whole new perspective. Daisy did not hate Bagel Bombs! Her feelings were more complicated than that, but she had been so wrapped up in resentment that she lost sight of anything else. Candace Perry, though, was hard to ignore. Her keen, kind insights… the gentle touch that grew tighter when she was sure it was allowed… her lilac scent mixed with the salty tang of the sea.
No, Daisy did not hate Candace, either. Not anymore, if she ever even truly had. The revelation hit Daisy with a full-body rush as she lay wide awake in bed. She vibrated beneath her covers as thoughts of the smartly-dressed, high-ponytail-sashaying woman paraded over her mind. So, if she did not hate her, whatdidshe feel?
And why did the reverse question make her so nervous?
What must Candace think of Daisy after last night? After all the explosions of negative emotion she bore with a smile? Exchanges where Daisy had once felt justified flashed before her mental eye. Now, they were colored by an ugly, embarrassing lens.
Demi’s words echoed in her head.“You don’t know anything about her… She deserves better.”
The sentiment was hard to argue against. Especially as Daisy watched Candace the next morning at Bagel Bombs’! grand reveal.
There had to be some kind of mistake.
