Page 128 of Darling Wildfire
Atlas whirled on him, his fist flying towards his face but Nyx let his rage get the best of him. He grabbed Atlas, and sent him to his knees. Nyx grabbed a fistful of Atlas’ shirt and yanked him forward as he brought his face close to his, a snarl on his lips and fury in his eyes.
“I am not dying here,” Nyx said fiercely as he blinked the rain away. He jerked Atlas forward harshly again. “Do you hear me? We’ll get out of this—together—that’s what you said right?”
“I was wrong—”
“Fuck you—” Nyx snapped as he emphasized each word.
“That’s enough!” I said, stepping forward finally. “Let him go, Nyx.”
They glared at each other, each of them trying to calm their surging emotions. Nyx shoved Atlas away.
“So your word means nothing then?” Nyx snapped.
The tension was heavy as the air crackled with electricity. Atlas didn’t speak, the look of blank despair back on his face. Nyx bared his teeth in disappointment and this time it was he who turned away. I saw the anguish and rage on his face as he headed towards the doors leading inside.
I stood where I was, looking out at the rain swept landscape. We were fracturing and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
63
NYX
I was a mess when we got back to the estate. I was furious but only because when I saw Atlas raise the gun to his head, I was terrified I was going to lose him. I knew what it felt like to want to end all of this but being on the other side, watching someone come so close, someone I cared about—it made me want to hit him until he came to his senses. Instead, I’d let him hit me hoping to make him feel something other than the numbness that drove someone to the edge.
I didn’t even bother stopping by the infirmary. I went into the bathroom and cleaned myself up, wanting to feel every cut and bruise because it meant I was still alive. I’d tweaked my shoulder during a fight, it wasn’t serious, but I relished that pain as well. I pulled off my shirt and dabbed at the cut across my jaw from where Atlas’ hook had caught me.
“I’m sorry,” Atlas said from the doorway.
“It’s fine, it’s just a few cuts and—”
“No, not for that,” Atlas interrupted.
He held my gaze in the mirror. I sighed and shook my head, looking away.
“Is that why you were angry at me? Before?” I asked, referencing the time when I’d nearly died on the beach.
“Yes, that’s why I was angry at you, asshole,” he grumbled.
I nodded and continued dabbing at the cut. He watched me in the mirror and finally I sighed.
“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you or North—Preach too, but you and North are—important to me,” I said. “I wouldn’t see the point in going on if you two weren’t around.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for scaring you,” Atlas said. “That moment with Kane fucked me up, Nyx.”
“He went out on his terms,” I said. “He was in control in the end and I think that was important to him. We’re all struggling right now.”
Atlas nodded and ran a hand through his still damp hair that was starting to curl around his face. I watched his hand in the mirror, wishing it was my fingers brushing the hair behind his ear.
“I’m worried about North,” Atlas admitted, trying to change the subject. “He said he’s fine but there’s only so much a man can take—obviously.”
“He won’t accept help,” I muttered.
“I know, I didn’t even bother trying. I told him we’d be here when he finally reached his limit. That was all I could think of to say.”
“So you’ll be here then?” There was an edge to my voice. “Or are you going to try and leave us again?”
Atlas chewed on his bottom lip and I wanted so badly to tug it from between his teeth and put it between my own. When he didn’t answer, I turned and stepped towards the door, frustration making those thoughts leave as quickly as they came.
His hand on my chest stopped me. When he still didn’t speak, my jaw clenched.
