Page 65 of Darling Wildfire
Nyx shrugged. “Hell—or something similar. Probably purgatory.”
“So far this place is like prison,” Atlas said, glaring at Nyx. “We get to go out for a few hours every day and the only thing to do is workout.”
“Don’t worry, they’ll bring food soon,” Nyx said.
“That’s his favorite time of day,” Atlas said dryly.
“This may be like a prison, but the food definitely isn’t,” Nyx said. He looked me over again. “So, what’s your name?”
“North. Theron North.”
“What branch were you in?” Atlas asked. At the curious look on my face he went on. “Everyone here is military or law enforcement. We were both SEALs.”
I nodded. “So was I. How long have you two been here?”
Nyx shrugged. “Probably about a month.” He looked to Atlas for confirmation and the man nodded.
“Hard to tell. He’s slowly been filling the cells.”
There was a commotion down the hall, and Nyx grinned.
“Dinner time!”
Atlas rolled his eyes.
Two guards made their way down the row of cells as they distributed trays of food through a slot at the bottom of the bars. Two water bottles accompanied the food. I walked over and picked up the tray; the smells made my mouth water immediately. There were two grilled chicken breasts slathered in BBQ sauce, mashed potatoes and a pile of steamed broccoli.
“See what I mean?” Nyx took his tray over to his cot. “Food is top-notch.”
“That probably just means they’re fattening us up for something,” Atlas grumbled.
I took a few bites and couldn’t help but close my eyes as the rich taste overwhelmed me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. I ate most of the dinner but couldn’t finish all of it after being starved, although I did down a full water bottle before I stashed the second under my cot for later. Nyx and Atlas bantered back and forth but simply the act of eating exhausted me and as soon as I couldn’t eat anymore, I lay back and fell asleep almost immediately.
That night the nightmares came.
So much blood.
My hands were covered in it as I reached for Cole and then Whit’s bloody hand as it extended towards me, my name a silent plea on her lips. I jolted awake, frantic to get Cole’s blood off my hands. I twisted them in the blanket, wiping them over and over again on the fabric even knowing the blood was only in my mind. My skin was clammy with sweat as tears ran down my face. I stared up into the darkness and focused on my breath as I attempted to calm down.
I’d failed my family, and I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive myself for that.
I don’t know how long I let myself drift into my memories of them, but it physically hurt and I knew if I was going to survive in here, I needed to put the memories away. It was time to compartmentalize like I was good at. I needed to be ruthless and calculating. If I was going to be thrown into the pits of hell, I needed to be every bit the demon birthed from these shadows in order to survive and find a way out.
Only then could I plan my revenge.
Only then could I hope for any chance at retribution.
My memories wouldn’t save me and the guilt had the potential to drown me. It was all better if I just left it alone and focused on what was in front of me.
They weren’t alive. There was nothing waiting for me outside of these walls.
I closed my eyes and willed my mind to empty, shoving the memories of my former self deep into the shadowed corners. Maybe one day it would be safe enough to pull them back out.
32
NYX
“Rise and shine, it’s workout time,” I called out just for the satisfaction of watching Atlas roll his eyes.
