Page 120 of Crossbones

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CASPIAN

I hope it doesn’t come as too much of a surprise that I’ve escaped the noose once again. Although this time, I owe your General for my trip back from the dead.. Regardless, I’m thankful for my nine lives because there is too much left unsaid between us—

I’ve sent Harrison to get you out. Go with him. I mean it.

I’ll meet you at the ship, or if I don’t—

If I don’t, just know, despite how everything went down in Foxhollow, I can’t stop thinking about you. The truth is, your touch is the only thing that has ever made me question if I could be something more than a monster. Our time together made me dream of a life where the blood in my wake wasn’t the only thing defining me. Our love became a mutiny against reason, and I want nothing more than to be recklessly yours.

This is my truth: You were my ruin, my undoing, my most dangerous adventure. Of all the treasures I’ve stolen—you were, and are, my most cherished.

It was never about the gold; instead you stole my heart.

I love you—with fierce, unwavering devotedness and with a fervor forever as wild as the sea.

—Always yours, J

I stand staring at the words, rereading it once—twice—and once more because I still can’t wrap my mind around the miraculous truth that he’s alive. I turn the note over, realizing it's been written on the back of a page torn from the book of poetry we both love:

If love isto find him, let it not come as a whisper

but as a force as restless as the tide

let it take him the way the ocean takes the shore—

slowly, violently

until he is something softened,

until he is something free.

A drop of water splashes on the page, and belatedly I realize it’s a tear. Despite everything, he’s fighting for me—he’s giving me another chance to prove to him what’s real. He’s given me another chance to make a different choice—one that doesn’t come on a double-edged blade.

“Caspian—we don’t have time for this,” Harrison grumbles. “Save the sentiments for when we get out of here. Come on—”

Certainty and resolve rise up inside me and I shove the letter into my pocket, walking past him towards the door.

“Where are you going? We need to go that way—” Harrison thrust his hand towards the balcony.

“Where is he?” I demand.

“He told me to take you to the ship.”

I round on Harrison. “Tell me where the fuck he is. I won’t ask again.”

Harrison narrows his eyes. “What do you expect will happen when you waltz out there into the hallway?”

“Where is he?” I growl.

Harrison pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “You two are going to be the death of me.” He takes a breath and jerks his head towards the balcony. “Fine—I’ll take you to him, but we’re going this way.”

I admit that’s a better plan, and follow Harrison out to the railing. We climb over and scale the wall to the ground. I shouldn’t have drunk so much wine—I land a little harder than I usually would and Harrison gives me a look.

“Are you going to tell me where he is, or is it a surprise?” I squint, hoping he’ll solidify into one Harrison instead of the two he is now.

“He’s headed towards the throne room,” Harrison frowns. “To kill your brother.”

“Without help?” I exclaim in alarm, taking off without waiting for a reply.