Page 55 of Crossbones
I frown at his question. Most people know about my vendetta, but they don’t know why. They don’t know the horrors that happened before I was made a slave. They only know that one day, theStormbreakerhad appeared from the bowels of a De’Vero slave ship and began his tirade on the Seven Landings.
“Your family tore mine apart,” I say. “Your father’s soldiers came and destroyed my city—” My voice is rough, choppy, and I realize I’d never told this story to anyone before. Even Harrison only knows I was once a slave, not how I became one. “They broke into my home…raped and killed my mother—” I hear him shift behind me. When I look over my shoulder, he has a pained expression on his face but his eyes are still tightly shut. “I don’t know what happened to my sister—I was taken, forced into servitude in the bilges of a ship in your father’s fleet. Took years to fight my way out…”
I press my hands flat against my thighs, willing my memories to stay back. The familiar weight of these manacles bring it all terrifyingly close to the surface. The blisters from the oars, the whip marks on my back—the cries and pleas and darker sounds happening in the shadows—a shiver wracks my body.
Caspian is silent for several beats. “You don’t know what happened to your sister?”
This time when I look over my shoulder, he has a curious look on his face, his blue eyes glittering in the dim light.
I shake my head, my throat growing tight at the thought of her.
“Never saw her again after that day.”
I look away again so he can’t see the emotions on my face. The ones I hide away from everyone because it’s easier than feeling the utter emptiness in my chest at the thought of her.
“Her name was May,” I add—I don’t know why. Maybe because saying her name out loud makes her real. She existed and I don’t want anyone to ever forget that, least of all me.
Caspian sighs. “My father is an asshole,” he grumbles bitterly. “I had a sister too—” His voice sounds far away, like he’s also floating in the past. “Her name was Charlotte.”
This is news to me. I never knew there had also been a De’Vero princess. I turn so I can see him better.
“What happened to her?”
“She was murdered.” He scoffs. “You were right—when you said I’d failed someone—” He meets my eyes. “It was her.”
My chest hurts because he says the words like the wound is still as fresh as the ones on his back. The pain in his eyes is warped with guilt. I know whatdrowning in that guilt feels like, and to know I drove the knife deeper makes me hate myself.
“Is Malik the one who gave you those scars I saw?” I ask.
Caspian’s jaw clenches along with his fists but he nods. “Yes. A long time ago.” I wait to see if he’ll give me more but he doesn’t.
“You should have told me,” I mutter.
He scoffs. “Really? And what could you have done about it?”
My jaw tightens and I glare at him, the irritation at the situation coming back in a rush.
“What could I have done about it?” I seethe. “I have fucking connections here. Powerful ones. Have you noticed he hasn’t touched me?” Caspian’s eyes sharpen with understanding. “He won’t touch me unless he wants to be in serious shit—that’s why you should have told me. I could have—” The wordprotectedis on the tip of my tongue. “—avoided this.”
“Guess I should have trusted you, huh,” he states dryly.
I just frown at him. “I told you I don’t like liars.”
“Trust is a process, Captain.”
“Aye,” I snap. “A process you’re not really participating in.”
His brow furrows in annoyance. “What do you mean? Yes I have.”
“Not really—what Idoknow about you I’ve had to infer for myself. You’ve told me some pretty words and showed me you can sing—that’s about it.”
“That’s not fair,” he protests.
“Aye, it’s not, is it?” He’s actively glaring at me now. “I know you have a crown on your head, the sea under your boots—belonging to both, but claiming neither. You use your charm to redirect, and your power comes from your assurance that no matter what, you’ll get what you want. You care—deeply—about people, some who aren’t even yours to care for,” I say, thinking back on the way he comforted Raul. “You run into danger like it’s your God given penance to burn. Andyet—you shy away from the shadows that spill from you because God forbid you understand yourself. Maybe you think you don’t deserve to know—” I shake my head. “But don’t sit there and pretend you’ve been vulnerable with me. I’ve opened up to you way more, and I don’t even like you!”
I finish in a huff and Caspian stares at me as I glare at him. He blinks like he’s thinking over everything I’ve said. The lack of a scowl on his face makes me think he’s realizing I’m right.
I know I am.
