Page 2 of Furious
Maybe I don’t want it to fade away. Maybe if I let it become a painful memory that doesn’t burn like a branding iron, then I’ll lose my brother forever. At least now, every time someone even hints at our loss, that raw pain makes me feel closer to Atlas.
Shit. I realize that Lev is right. It’s fucking unhealthy. “Lev, I just can’t. I just don’t—I’m sorry.”
There’s a beat of silence between us. “We’ll talk about this another time. But we need to talk about what happened last night. You agreed to race Fox. Nothing good can come from that.”
He isn’t wrong. “I agreed to race again before I knew that Fox was Dave’s brother.”
Lev sighs. “Yeah. And that was a stupid choice, even before you knew Fox was involved. What I was trying to say is that Bridgeport meant the end of his racing career, too. Don’t you find it suspicious that he’s back in town? Especially when he knows that motorcycles are illegal in Star Cove?”
I haven’t given it much thought. “You heard Dave.” I shrug. “If something is forbidden, it’s more exciting. People will bet higher to see us racing.”
“You don’t need the fucking money, dude.” Lev bites out. “Why the fuck would you risk breaking a law your father campaigned for?”
I’m surprised by my own answer to that question. “Because he’s always laying down the law. Not just a mayor. No motorcycles in town, no talking about Atlas. No involvement with Zara. Get good grades, play hockey, be the fucking perfect son. He’s lost one son, and he couldn’t keep Ares from dropping out of college and joining the sheriff department. So I have to be the one to fall in line. Fuck that.”
LEV
Jesus Christ.
I think Scott should fire the therapist his sons have been seeing since Atlas’s death.
I’ve suspected that Chance was harboring resentment toward his father, but the depth of his anger is a surprise to me.
“So you think that going back to racing is the answer? A big fuck you to your father? Is that what being with Zara is about, too?”
“Yes, and no.” He says.
This is bad. I have a problem with Chance doing something stupid that could hurt him or bite him in the ass in the end. But I can’t stop him from racing if that’s what he wants. Zara, however, is a completely different matter.
If he hurts her to prove something to his father, I don’t care that he’s my best friend. I’ll kick his fucking ass.
“Dude.” I’m shaking with fury. “Zara doesn’t deserve to be a pawn in whatever game you think you’re playing with your father. If you hurt her, I swear to God, I?—”
Chance cuts me off. “Why would I ever hurt Zara?”
“You just listed all the things your dad is dictating in your life. You said?—”
“I know what I said.” He sounds really pissed now. “Maybe I’m racing because I want to piss Dad off. I don’t know. Maybe I missed riding a motorcycle. We all grew up riding and it was taken away from us without asking how we felt.”
The fact that he managed to avoid mentioning Ares or Bridgeport isn’t lost on me.
“Zara is a different story.” Chance adds. “I wouldn’t try to be with her just to piss off my old man. I care about her. I thinkabout her all the fucking time. I want her. But it’s another thing Dad wants to control.”
I see his point. “So, what are you going to do? Rub it all in Scott’s face? The racing and sleeping with Zara?”
“Fuck, no. What I’m saying is that I’m done letting someone else dictate what I should do. What I should think. What I should fucking feel. I care about Zara. I want to be with her.”
That’s some progress, at least on one front. “So you figured out what you want?”
Chance nods. “I’ve always known what I wanted. I just hated the idea of disappointing Dad. But I can’t stay away from her. I don’t want to. And I want to make Calvin Fox apologize for how he acted that day on the racetrack.”
I can’t help but state the obvious. “I doubt he’ll apologize for being an asshole.”
He doesn’t disagree. “I know. That’s why I want to race him. With men like Fox, there aren’t going to be any apologies. The only way to make him sorry is to beat him at his own game.”
I don’t like this one bit. “You’re right. But I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t warn you, that this is a dangerous game. Not just if your father catches you. Last night, we raced on Dave’s bikes. Are you going to trust Calvin Fox with your own safety?”
My best friend might be impulsive, but he isn’t stupid. “No. I already thought about it. We need our own bikes.”
