Page 50 of Furious
I understand where she’s coming from. “I don’t know if he would ever agree to ‘share.’ But he does want you. I know because we’ve talked about it. I’m sure you’re starting to see that Ares has a strong sense of duty. He knows that even if Chance and I weren’t in the picture, Scott is against any romantic involvement between you and one of your stepbrothers. It’s just harder for him to go against his father’s wishes, but he was clear that he thinks crossing Scott would be worth it if you ended up together in the end. He also told me and Chance that he hates the idea of hurting us but that he isn’t backing down and he wants you to choose him.”
Zara exhales a shuddering breath at my last words. “It’s good to know that he cares about me, but I can’t totally blame him. This choosing deal is keeping me up at night.”
Chapter 13
Life Is All About Choices
LEV
Ihate the way her voice breaks, her eyes losing that passionate brightness that has drawn me in from the first time I saw her.
“Zee, you need to take this thing one day at a time. We’re all in this together, ok? The guys and I are all big boys and we know what we signed up for when we decided to pursue you. We’ll still care about you and each other, no matter who you choose. That’s a promise. All we ask of you is that you explore things with each of us without holding back and that you follow your heart.”
My reassurance doesn’t have the intended effect. “But don’t you see, Lev?” she grabs my biceps, her nails digging into my skin as she struggles to get her passion under control.
I fucking dig every second of it. It’s that fire that made me fall for Zara pretty much on the spot.
“I care about each of you so fucking much,” she bites out, closing her eyes for a second. “Just the thought of losing two of you is enough to break my heart. What if I can’t ever choose between the three of you?”
Fuck.
That’s something I hadn’t considered. What if she truly can’t choose?
My own answer to that question surprises me, too. But I mean every single damn word that rushes out of my mouth. “Then we’ll have to learn to coexist.”
Zara blinks a couple of times, clearly confused. “What—what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I want to be with you, Zee. I want you to be happy. If that means that you need to be with Chance and Ares too, then I’ll have to learn to deal with it.”
Her throat works as she swallows, looking at me as if she were trying to read my thoughts. “Do you really mean it?”
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I do mean it. “I’m falling for you, Zara.” I admit. “I’ve never felt like this before about anyone. The only feeling I can compare to how I feel about you is how I feel about Chance and Ares. They’re like brothers to me, even more than that. We might fight sometimes, but those two idiots are a part of me. And you’re becoming a part of me, too. So, in a way, it doesn’t surprise me that you have feelings for all of us. It actually makes sense. It’s why you’re so prefect for me. For us.”
There’s a moment of silence.
“I’m falling for you too, Lev.”
Thank fuck. For a second there, I was worried I scared her.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard in forever, Zee.” I smile. “Of course, I can only speak for myself when I say that if you can’t choose, it isn’t a deal breaker. But that means that you have one less thing to worry about. We’ll see how things turn out with Chance and Ares, ok? Just know that as long as you want me, I’m not walking away.”
The kiss we share next is so deep that I feel it in my soul. “You know one thing you and I could do while we figure everythingout? We could start exploring that idea of being with all three of us at the same time.”
“How would you do that?” she asks. “I mean, wouldn’t we need Chance and Ares to try it out?”
“Eventually.” I smile. “And Chance isn’t going to be very hard to convince, at least to try to share you sexually for the time being. Ares might be a tougher sell, but I don’t think it’s totally impossible. What I meant is that if you want, we could very slowly start to explore the back door stuff?”
Her teeth scrape on her bottom lip again. “Yeah?”
I run the pad of my thumb on her bottom lip, freeing it from her teeth. “Yeah. We can start really small. See if you like being touched there. Maybe try one finger or two. If you don’t like how it feels, we don’t have to go any further. But if you like it, we can slowly level you up.”
Curiosity shines in her eyes. “How do you level up anal?”
“We can go shopping.” I smile. “We can buy a set of butt plugs and try them out. We start with a small one and work our way up until we’re confident that you can take one of us there.”
She giggles nervously. “I love the way you keep saying ‘we.’ When I’m the one who has to take something up there.”
I’m a little nervous myself when I admit the next part, but Zara has put her trust in me more than once. I want to show her that I trust her, too. “Who said that you have to be the only one?”
