Page 56 of Furious
I honestly don’t know what to expect. She was surprisingly civil downstairs, but was that just a muted reaction for Lev’s benefit?
There’s a real possibility she’s about to yell at me now that we’re behind closed doors. She sits on my bed.
“I know. You already said that.” Her voice comes out softly, almost like a whisper. “Can you come here and sit down, please?” she pats the comforter next to her.
I don’t really want to, but I feel guilty for making her worry, so I do as she asked and lower myself by her side.
“Look Zara,” she sighs. “Two years ago, I would have grounded you, maybe.”
I barely manage to stifle the snort at the understatement of the century. “Maybe? I don’t mean to be rude, Mom, but you would have definitely grounded me.” And that would have been just the beginning of my punishment. Last time I ended up ona one-way flight to Connecticut and was given no choice in the matter.
“You’re right, I would have.” She admits. “But things have changed, Zara. You’re an adult now. And I can’t stop you from living your life just because I worry. I’m actually grateful that you agreed to live at home this year, so we have the chance to reconnect.”
Again, she gave me no choice when she canceled my dorm room on campus. But I don’t point that out either.
I half expect her to give me a speech on the lines of “my house, my rules,” but she surprises me again.
“I like Lev, sweetheart. He’s a wonderful young man and so good looking.”
Ok. “But?” I wish if there’s a reprimand coming my way, Mom would just get to it.
Instead, she blinks, confused. “There are no buts, Zara. Lev is smart and attractive and Scott has known his parents for years. Thankfully, he abandoned his childish dreams of becoming a professional motorcycle racer, and he’s getting an education. I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend for you. All I ask, if possible, is that you let me know if you’re not coming home, so I don’t worry.”
It’s impossible to hide my shock. “That’s all you’re asking?”
Mom nods. “Yeah. I understand you guys might want to be alone. I’ve been young, too.”
“You’re still young, Mom.” It’s true. She married my dad right out of high school and by the time she turned twenty, they already had me.
She giggles. I haven’t seen this side of her since she left Dad.
“I suppose I still am sort of young. And I have a wonderful, sexy husband. So I don’t blame you for wanting to enjoy yourself with Lev.”
My jaw almost hits the floor. She never talked about sex with me before. “Oh my God.” I gasp. “TMI, Mom.”
“Oh, come on,” she laughs again. “I just came back from my honeymoon. The only reason why we got a tan is that Scott rented a secluded villa with a private pool. The staff was very discreet, and we spent most of our time naked. I have no tan lines. At all.”
Heat rises to my face.
“Stop.” I chuckle. “How am I ever going to look Scott in the eye at breakfast? You can’t say stuff like that to me about my stepfather. He’s the town mayor, for crying out loud.” I’m proud of myself for the last minute save. I was totally going to say “for fuck’s sake,” but I doubt Mom was going to appreciate that.
Mom grabs my hand. “Aren’t you happy that my husband makes me happy?”
I stop laughing. “I am. I love the fact that he loves you. I’m still getting to know him; but as long as he treats you the way you deserve to be treated, our relationship will be on solid ground.”
She looks at me for a long moment, her eyes shining with barely contained emotion. “Thank you, sweetheart. Look, I know things between the two of us have been difficult these past few years. Part of the reason is that you’ve always looked up to your father, and I was so angry with him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him completely for how he behaved during our marriage, but it’s easier to look at those times now that I’m in a great relationship. Your dad was the man of my dreams when I was your age. It was hard to accept that when you love a bad boy, you end up being treated badly. I loved the fact that you adored him, Zara. And John wasn’t a bad father. I know he loves you and he’s proud of you. I never wanted to keep you from seeing him. I just wanted to protect you from making my same mistakes.”
I exhale a shuddering breath as tears well in my eyes. “I know, Mom. And I know that a lot of time when you said I couldn’t visit him, it wasn’t to keep me away from him. It was because he canceled last minute and you’d look like the bad guy rather than cause me a bigger disappointment by telling me the truth.”
Mom blinks again, struggling not to cry. “Yeah. Things became harder when you grew up and you started to see through my attempts to cover for him.”
I ask the question I never asked her before. “Why did you cover for him?”
She laughs, but this time there’s no mirth in it. “Because I would rather you be mad at me than heartbroken that he would drop his daughter to party with his crush of the week.”
Yeah. I started seeing that when he flaked on me several times during the school holidays once I was at boarding school. He missed my graduation because of some “work commitments,” but his social media posts on a yacht with a blonde, top model who was probably my age tell a different story.
“I’m sorry for acting like a spoiled brat, Mom. I know Dad means well, but deep down, he’s selfish. He’s always going to do what he wants and put himself first, even if it hurts his loved ones.”
