Page 80 of If My Wishes Came True
“And planned your wedding, and your future together,” I say, wiping my eyes.
“I was going through life on autopilot. Why else would I plan to marry someone I wasn’t head over heels in love with?”
It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but an answer comes to mind right away. Charlie told me, not too long ago, that he “aims to please.” Granted, we were talking about his skills in bed—but it’s obvious the sentiment applies to more than just his sex life.
Charlie Sutton is a people-pleaser. He doesn’t want to disappoint me. He certainly doesn’t want to disappoint his dad. Is it possible he’s so conflict-avoidant that he would walk down the aisle with the wrong person, rather than risk breaking their heart?
“Vanessa did me a huge favor when she ran out of that church,” he goes on as my thoughts continue to spiral. “Even though I was stunned at the time, there’s no doubt in my mind that she made the right decision.”
His words do nothing to alleviate the uneasy feeling in my gut. Right now, though, I’m more worried about his former fiancée’s feelings than my own.
“But…what about Vanessa? What if she’s having doubts?” The sadness in her eyes whenever she mentions him is unmistakable.
Charlie shakes his head. “What do you mean?”
“I’m…” My voice cracks, and I have to pause to collect myself.
“What?” he asks, his eyes troubled.
“I’m afraid she’s still in love with you,” I tell him over the sound of my hammering heart.
“She’s not, Jenna. Trust me. She loved me as a friend. Maybe she still does. But she was never in love with me. That’s why she called off the wedding.”
“But she left you to find the love of her life, right? Well, it’s been four months, and she hasn’t been on a single date. What if she hasn’t moved on?”
“I don’t know,” he replies. “That seems unlikely.” But he’d looked so sure before, and now that certainty is gone.
“If she does regret her decision,” I begin, “what kind of friend would that make me?”
A man-stealing vixen, like so many women assume I am when they look at me. But this time they’d be right.
“Even in the short time I’ve known Vanessa, she’s been the most loyal friend I’ve ever had. She introduced me to her culture, her friends, and her family. She took care of me when I was depressed. She found me a therapist, and even drove me to my first session. Charlie, she waited an hour and a half in her car, just to make sure I was okay afterward…”
His brows knit together.
“I don’t know what to do,” I continue, through tears.
“We’re going to figure this out. I promise.” He kisses the top of my head, but the sweetness of his gesture only makes me sadder.
When I turn to him, I see the resolve in his eyes. His gaze is steady, and devoted, and reminds me of the way he looked at me last night, when we made love.
How did we get from there to here? I thought Charlie was my storybook happy ending. But now…
He’s Nico. My faithful friend’s ex-fiancé.
My lip quivers. “It’s so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that, if Vanessa hadn’t decided to call off the wedding, you’d be her husband right now. You were going tomarryher, Charlie…”
He runs a hand over his head. “Look, I’m not proud that it took being left at the altar for me to realize how complacent I was being in my life. But I guess it was the wake-up call I needed. Because the next morning, I picked up my camera again, Jenna—and it was the happiest I’d felt in ages. And I was so high off that feeling that, when Vanessa texted me from her sister’s to ask about picking up her things from our apartment, I told her she could keep the place. I was going to stay in a hotel for a few weeks while I wrapped things up at Sutton’s, and then I was going to quit. I thought I’d move back to New York, and find work as a photographer?—”
I blink back more tears. “But you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t disappoint your dad.”
My boyfriend looks down at his lap, ashamed. When his eyes come back to mine, they’re pleading. “The timing wasn’t right. Just think—if I’d gone back to Manhattan, we never would have met. But I have no more excuses. I’m going to leave Sutton’s, Jenna. I promise.”
I heave a sigh. “Are you sure? Or will you just continue settling?”
As soon as I say the words, fear hits me like a punch to the gut. It’s definitely a pattern in his life. So, how can I be sure Charlie truly wantsme?
He already looks so sad, it devastates me to ask him—but I have to. “What if I’m not the girl of your dreams, Charlie? What if you’re just settling for some green-eyed blonde who looks like her?”
