Page 87 of If My Wishes Came True
You’d think we were an estranged couple at a mediation. I’ve felt his gaze on me since I arrived, but I’m so anxious about upsetting Vanessa that I don’t even want to make eye contact with him.
I finish half my wine in one large, noisy gulp. When I put my glass down, Charlie and Vanessa are looking at me. “I’m sorry,”I say. “This isincrediblyawkward.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Charlie attempting to suppress a smile.
“I know,” Vanessa replies. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. I mean, what are the odds?”
“Slim to none,” I say before draining my glass. The way Charlie’s looking at me with adoring eyes is almost impossible to ignore.
Vanessa pours me more wine, then takes a sip of her own. “To say that I’m stunned is an understatement. But, for the record…I’m not upset.”
“You’re not?” I ask, my eyes wide.
“This is partly my fault,” she replies, looking down at her glass. “I let you believe I wasn’t over him.”
I squint at her. “I don’t understand.”
My friend exhales deeply. “I haven’t been honest with you. Or anyone, really—until recently.”
I shake my head. From across the island, Charlie appears to be just as confused as I am.
“Honest about what?” I ask.
She takes a deep breath. “I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Oh,” I say. I allow myself to full-on look at Charlie this time, and he’s breathing a sigh of relief. I turn back to Vanessa. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I’ve shared practically every detail of my life with her—because I’ve felt so comfortable in her presence, from the first day we met. I thought she felt the same way. I’m disappointed, honestly.
“It has nothing to do with you, or our friendship,” she replies, as though reading my mind. “This was about me…feeling guilty.”
“Why?” Charlie asks, tilting his head.
She turns to answer him. “I never should have proposed to you. I did it because I panicked. I’m thirty-two years old, and I want a family. When you told me you were moving to Chicago, I was terrified of starting over again. I was afraid I wouldn’t find someone as thoughtful and kind as you?—”
“So, you settled,” Charlie says.
“It’s awful, but it’s true. You deserve so much better than that. And the fact that I ran out on you, in front of your family and friends…I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.” Tears fall down her cheeks.
“It sucked,” Charlie admits. “But you did us both a favor, V. You’re not the only one who was settling.”
Vanessa’s face lights up for the first time since I got here. “Really?”
“When you proposed,Ipanicked,” Charlie explains. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Because I did love you…but as a friend.”
Vanessa lets out a breathy laugh as she wipes her cheeks. “I’ve never been so happy to hear someone say they were never in love with me.”
Charlie wipes his brow. “That makes two of us.”
Well, I guess I don’t have a reason to feel so jealous anymore. The knots in my stomach ease a bit, but I’m still eager to move on from thoughts of Vanessa and Charlie together. “So, tell us about this guy you’re dating,” I ask my friend.
“He’s a social worker, too. We met about amonth after I called off the wedding, and I wasn’t ready to date yet. But he sat next to me at a continuing education seminar, and when we started talking, there was obvious chemistry. We had lunch together that day, during a short break mid-training, and it was the best date I’d ever had—even though you could hardly call it that. I felt like I’d known him forever.”
I know the feeling, I think, sneaking a peek at Charlie. He’s eyeing me too, the hint of a smile on his lips. And even though his former fiancée is talking about the best date of her life with another man, there’s no indication on my boyfriend’s face that he’s hurt or offended.
“He asked me for my number, and the next night we went to dinner. Before I knew it, I’d seen him every single day that week. But for me to jump into a new relationship so quickly seemed like another rash decision—and I told him that. I went back and forth a lot. But he was incredibly patient with me. Eventually I couldn’t fight the fact that I had feelings for him.
“I didn’t trust myself, though. I wanted to make sure that what I felt was real. That I wasn’t just rushing into a relationship because I wanted to get married and have kids. That’s why I didn’t tell you when I started dating him, Jenna. Or anyone else, for that matter. I only told my sister a few weeks ago, because—” Vanessa looks down at her lap.
