Page 21 of Her Shadow so Dark and Lovely
Lorel
Sila holds me tightly and,even with my eyes closed, I can feel the darkness pressing in, trying to smother me. My lungs burn, threatening to burst from my chest if I have to hold my breath for a moment longer. Ican’thold it much longer. It’s stifling and oppressive?—
And then the darkness is receding. Sila’s arms loosen, resting softly around me in a protective circle as I gasp for air, the action entirely void of any sound. I rest my forehead against Sila’s shoulder as my chest shudders. The room spins and her solid form is grounding. It had only been that morning that Sila had carried me to my rooms. Left me to rest. How had it only been mere hours ago?
There’s a plush carpet under my knees, and dull light from a sigil-lit hearth. I haven’t seen one of those inyears. Wherever I am, this isn’t a place for scribes. I tip my head to the side, taking in the room. It’s almost like some kind of storage closet, though it’s far too large for that. The furniture too fine. There are books and papers piled on almost every available surface, including the armchairs and the lone footstool. The only truly bare spaces arethe gap on the rug that we are currently occupying, and the chair behind the desk that dominates the space. Through the double doors to my left I catch sight of a bedpost, a robe slung over the end. Sila’s robe.
Dawn King help me. Sila’srooms.
Sila laughs softly as I look up at her. It softens her expression, her eyes crinkling at the corners. My hands are still wound tight into her blouse and I let go as if burned. My glasses sit askew on my face, and I set them to rights. There are specks of blood across them that I’ll have to clean off later.
“Are you alright?” she asks. Her eyes are back to normal now, though her face is still tracked with those blood-like tears. They’re pooled at the corner of her mouth, stuck in her teeth as she speaks. She should be terrifying, splattered with the Lightkeepers blood too. She isn’t.
Are these your rooms?
Sila nods. “It’s the safest place for you, since I cannot seem to keep an eye on you else wise.”
You’ve been watching me.
“Of course I have. In case you haven’t noticed little mouse, people keep trying to kill you.”
You amongst them.
Her face grows sombre. “I suppose you will want an explanation.”
I think I deserve one.
“Do you not trust me?”
Not at all.
“Then why did you come with me?”
My hands hesitate in their reply. She had freely admitted to holding a blade over my heart with every intent to still it.
Because you didn’t.
Because if anything, it seemed she kept preventing my death.
Why didn’t you?
There is a fracture in her face, a glimpse of something sharp and aching, there and gone. She pulls her arms away from me now and takes my hands as she stands. She’s gentle as she tries to tug me up and so she doesn’t expect the way I settle all my weight into the ground, refusing to be pulled up. I try to tug my hands back, but her grip is firm.
Sila sets her mouth in a wry smile, running her thumb over the back of my hand and this time I could be as leaden as the stone around us and I would still go to my feet. As soon as her grip loosens, I tug my hands back.
You’re going to have to answer my questions.
“I will.”
But not this one.
“No.”
Then you cannot expect me to stay here?—
“Scribe—”
Don’t scribe me?—
