Page 29 of Her Shadow so Dark and Lovely
The Library is, by all accounts, an endless, living labyrinth with a mind of its own. I have been told in the Keep that the Dawn King had made it to keep all our history safe. The Library-dwellers believe otherwise, saying that it had grown from a magic older than the Citadel’s founding. Either way, the Dawn King’s only interest is ensuring each year during the Ascension, the annual celebration of his coronation, that the Library continues to bow to him. And thus far, it has.
I look back at the journal, tracing the shapes of Sila’s letters across the page with my fingers. There is no use worrying over it; the Library, the curse, Sila. If I have learned only one thing these past few weeks, it is that my fate is no longer in my own hands.
I pick up the next nearest book and start reading.
“Learn anything interesting?” murmurs a voice at my shoulder. I’d scream if I could. I’d been so engrossed in Sila’s research notes on old faetales I hadn’t heard her come in. Or, more likely, I’d missed her materialising behind me.
“Oh, that’s an old one. Hmm.” She’s distracted by the book, mumbling about how something isn’t correct anymore, and it gives me a chance to regain some sense of composure. “I should make a note and update that.”
Sila reaches for her pen and ink, leaning over me so that I am swallowed by her hair and perfume, her arm and cloak slung over the chair back. The curse stirs again, as if opening one eye to check that all is well, and then settles. I grab at Sila’s shirt, fingers wrapping into the soft silken fabric. My fingertips brush against her skin. It’s as ice cold as the rest of her. I’d never thought on it before, but was that also a Librarian thing?
Sila goes very still, hand poised to take up her pen, and then turns to look at me. She narrows her eyes at me and I hold my breath, unsure if I’ve overstepped.
“Have you been in the same spot all day? Did you remember to eatat all?”
I release her shirt.
You only instructed me not to leave.
Sila makes a noise through her teeth to express her disappointment. “Your ability to care for yourself is woeful. Are all scribes like this?”
Are all Librarians like you?
“So it’s only you that is so obstinate as to be reckless,” she says. She turns back to her desk and quickly makes a note, blots it, and tucks it into the book I was reading.
It’s hardly reckless to miss the midday meal.
Sila makes a sound that indicates she strongly disagrees.
“Up, I won’t have you starving on me, little mouse.” I give her a look to indicate that I think she’s being tiresome, but I get up. Ithasbeen some time since I sat down. I should have at least gotten up to stretch. Sila brings through a tray again, and it suddenly becomes very clear to me that Sila must not eat.
The tray is a mix of things that one would never usually serve together. There is a round of bread, but the only thing to put on it is more of the soft cheese drenched in a puddle of golden syrup. A selection of very specific pickles. I don’t know what has possessed her to pair it all with my favourite sweet bun. It’s the strangest meal I have ever been served. My hesitation must be obvious, because Sila frowns.
“Hmm, have I chosen wrong? I’m sure these are your favourites,” she says. “You seemed so pleased with the cheese yesterday.” She is entirely uncowed, studying me with all the seriousness of a Librarian wondering why a book has been mis-shelved.
It’s fine.
I try not to think about the fact that right down to the pickles, each of these is a thing I love. I had never thought to put them all on the same tray at once, though.
You have a lot of notes on me.
“Is that your discovery for the day?” she settles across from me again. She seems pleased when I start to eat, and for the barest moment I wonder what I have been so afraid of. And then I remember her standing over the Lightkeeper corpses.
I don’t know why you’re so interested in me.
“Hmm, it is curious, is it not?”
Yes.
She doesn’t give me any further answer, and I don’t quite know what question I need to ask to get one. For the first time in my life, the silence makes me uncomfortable.
Are all these books your research journals?
“Most of them. There probably is a Library book or two in there somewhere,” Sila says, looking around. “I’m sure I don’t know.”
If Sila doesn’t know, then surely no one else ever will. It could be the beginning of its own library, if only it had any kind of system to it.
Do they mostly cover faetales?
