Page 46 of Her Shadow so Dark and Lovely
Sila moves, resting her fingers against my arm. Her long, talon-like claws are gone, but her hands are covered in blood. Hers, theirs. Between the chapel and this, now we’re both covered in it. The air is tinged with the scent of it. I’m running out of time.
“Go back to the Library, little mouse,” Sila whispers. “It can protect you far better than I can.”
I stare at her. Such a beautiful, delirious creature. I did not bargain with the Library for our freedom for it to end like this. Not so soon. I will not go back to the Library.
“Lorel?” It’s barely a whisper now.
I don’t have time to sign her an essay. I take her face in my hands and lean in to press my lips to hers, quick and firm. Her lips are as cold as the rest of her, but soft. So much softer than I expected. If this turns out to be the only time I get to kiss them, I’ll drag the whole Court down into the Heart of the Library myself and set it all on fire. When I pull away, there is a metallic tang on my tongue. I give her my best withering look to tell her what I think of any further protestations, and tear at the edge ofmy bloodied dress. I’m sure that if I can just keep her with me, we can get back to her rooms. Back to safety. I shift her, trying to wrap the makeshift bandage around her. It is a useless effort. There are tears of frustration stinging at the corners of my eyes, burning at the back of my throat. I will myself not to panic, to get my bottom lip back under control. I can’t lose her like this.
Sila reaches for me, and her fingers caress my jaw. She leans back, tipping her head back against my shoulder.
I’m not going anywhere.
It’s a struggle to sign it. I don’t even know if she can see it, with how soft and unfocused her eyes are. Or even read the signs from this angle. Please let her understand.
Take us to your rooms, Sila. Please.
She stares at me, as if the sky has opened up and the sun has shone through the clouds as it hasn’t done in millennia.
“Alright,” she says, with a breathy laugh that feels a world away. She hisses as she lifts herself and wraps an arm around my waist. She pulls me tight against her and rests her head on top of mine. Shadows come up around us and I grip her tight, squeezing my eyes shut and taking a deep breath. I don’t know who to pray to anymore, so I cling to her and hope that my faith in her will be enough to get us through.
Chapter 28
Lorel
It isdark in Sila’s rooms with no lanterns lit and the sigil hearth is quiet. The shadows relinquish us upon the rug and I gasp silently, desperate for the stale air of the room. We must have been in the Library's Heart for at least a week with how the air tastes against my tongue. Sila leans like a dead weight against me, almost crushing me. She is so cursedly tall. I need all that muscle to come back to me so that it can move itself. I push her up, cradling her head carefully as I lower her to the ground.
I have no idea how long Mercias will take to find help, and I have no real natural ability for healing. She’s still bleeding, and all I have going for me is that I’ve had to copy many medical tomes. There is a cushion on the nearby armchair and I grab it. I have to shift her again to stuff it underneath her. I try not to worry that she isn’t breathing. Try to remind myself that she doesn’t need to. I ball up my skirts against the wound and lean my body weight against it, willing the bleeding to stop. If I can just get it to stop, everything will be alright. Mercias will bring help, and Sila will heal, and she’ll kiss me properly this time. Dawn King have mercy on me, I want it so badly.
I can hear my heart thumping in my ears. I lose count of them as time slides by, the time spent in the labyrinth catching up with me. My eyes are growing heavy. Where is Mercias? I need to keep my eyes open, keep the pressure on her, keep?—
The door rattles open, and so do my eyelids. Shit, how long had I been asleep?
“Sila! Fuck, this is a mess—” Mercias says as light blooms. His companion is holding a lantern aloft. Lune.
“Lorel!” Lune pushes the door shut and abandons Mercias, leaving him to find his way through stacks of books and debris to light the sigil in the hearth. He should be able to move easily through the dark, but even then I’m not sure what kind of value that has in Sila’s warren. Lune drops her case to the floor and sets her lantern down near Sila’s face. I look away. She looks on the edge of death and if I have lost her, I don’t want to know it yet. I don’t want to see her face stilled. I grip the fabric of Sila’s shirt tight.
“Come Lorel, let me have a look,” Lune says.
She’s gentle as she tries to shift me. I move reluctantly. Mercias grumbles his way through Sila’s stacks, lighting every lantern he finds. I sit back and I feel as bad as I had that first time I woke in the infirmary weeks ago. My muscles cramping and my bones aching, and everything creaking like the scriptorium doors on a bad day. Only this is so much worse.
I watch Lune’s hands as she gingerly pulls back the cloth of my skirts with a grimace. They were already soaked in blood, now they are heavy and dripping with it.
“It’s clean, and the bleeding has stopped,” says Lune. She hisses as she lightly presses her fingers to the skin around the wound. Lune’s eyes go faint and distant as she checks Sila’s state with her magic, then they widen. “Her pulse—” She frowns as she and her magic try to make sense of Sila. “It’s so slow.”
“As would yours be if you were as old as she is,” says Mercias from across the room. “As long as it still beats, she’ll recover.”
“A Librarian thing then, is it?” Lune says, giving Mercias a sceptical look. “Very well. We need to get this cleaned up, then I’ll deal with the wound as best I can. I don’t think there’s much I can do for her other than that.”
I clench my fists in my skirt, staring at Sila’s hand lying limp against the rug. I wish she was awake. I want her to tell us what we need to know and what we can do to help her. Though mostly, I don’t want to need her to do any of that at all.
“Lorel?” Lune asks, carefully easing my hands out of their fists. “Can you fetch hot water? Mercias can help me move her to the bed.”
I finally glance at Sila’s deathly pale face. The dark shadows under her eyes are darker than usual. There’s blood everywhere. I stare at her profile, the gentle light catching the soft edges of her face, her lovely full mouth. Mercias thinks she will live. Her heart still beats.
I nod and push myself stiffly up from the rug. Lune is watching me, sharp eyes missing nothing, clever mouth holding her questions because of Mercias’ presence.
In the washroom, I activate the sigil for the hot water and wash my hands in a daze. It takes some time for the water to run even close to clear. With all the excitement gone, I’m more tired than I’ve ever been, but I refuse to sleep until Sila is tended to. I find clean cloth and a shallow wash basin under a pile of old clothes. I top the basin up with hot water and carry it through.
