Page 101 of Kai
I opened my mouth to dispute the fact and then… closed it. He was right. Just as I had figured out the basics of swimming, I was beginning to understand who I was, separate and distinct from my anger.
“Don’t look so surprised,” he teased. “You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for your smarts. Do you wanna tell me what happened next?”
“The yacht. Yes.” I returned to my story. “When I could breathe again, Nix distracted the night duty officer, then sneaked me back into my room. If Father had found out about what I’d done, he would’ve sent me to an insane asylum in a New York minute. He would’ve locked me up for life. Nix was furious with me—for giving up, for letting Father get under my skin. He swore he wouldn’t tell a soul. On one condition: he made me promise him I would never do something so stupid again.” I paused and, after a few quiet moments, glanced at Kai. “Goahead, say it.”
He drew back. “Say what?”
“That I almost broke my promise to Nix today.”
“But did you?” he asked. “You could’ve jumped anytime. You didn’t. Why is that, Cece?”
“I don’t know.”
“Could it be because you learned something the first time around?”
“It could be.” Clarity illuminated my churning mind. “When I was about to die, I wanted to live.”
“You have so much to live for. Your work, your sisters. You always fight for what you want. You’re strong, you don’t give up, and you don’t quit. Ever.”
“But I’m tired, Kai.” I met his gaze and sighed. “Being strong all the time takes a toll.”
“I know.” He squeezed me against his chest. The empathy I spotted in his gaze warmed me down to my toes. “But you don’t have to carry the load alone.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“If you ever need to be weak, I’m here, Cece. Right here.”
My chest filled with new breath. Kai had said the exact words I needed to hear. My body relaxed in his hold.
“We’ve both been through some tough shit.” Kai took my hand and held it. “We both know each other’s sorrows. You want more than a drab and angry existence. I do, too. We both want joy, freedom from the past, and hope. So, if we want the same things, can wedothem together?”
I went so still I could feel the blood swishing through my veins. “What are you asking?”
“Do you want to know what my grandmother’s last words were?” he asked, bypassing my question. “What she said to me right before she passed?”
My throat felt too tight to make words, so I nodded.
“Seek the light, my sweet, wise boy; follow it, fight for it, hold it close to your heart; for there’s a moon to your sun, a win to your losses, a light in the darkness,” he recited, his eyes bright, his aura even brighter.“A light in the darkness. Get it?”
“You mean the lighthouse?”
“No, Cece. I mean you.”
“Wait. You think that I’m your light in the darkness?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t be anyone’s light.” I fidgeted with my hands. “I’m more like a black hole.”
He scolded me with his eyes. “Not true.”
“Do you really believe that your grandmother’s words were… I don’t know… a prophecy or something like that?”
“I do now.” He smiled. “My grandmother, your sisters, our connection. All of this can’t be a coincidence. Although I’ll admit that it takes some faith to believe beyond the observable.”
“It does.”
“And yet you have some experience with the unexplained.” He paused for a moment before he asked. “Don’t you?”
