And she doesn’t push me away. I’d call that a win, given her tendencies.
We cuddle for a bit after, and when she gets hungry I venture downstairs, where my uncle is primed and ready to cook pasta for her. For all of us, really. I don’t know how close she is to her actual heat, but I imagine it’s coming up fast. I doubt any of us in the house will get much sleep until her heat is finished.
Once the food is made, I return to her, carrying two full plates with two water bottles tucked into my hoodie’s pocket. She eats it like she’s being timed, and then she collapses and falls asleep. I’m not sure if that means her heat is nearing or what, but I use the opportunity to set the plates down in the hall and take a quick shower.
I’ll be fresh and clean, and she can have me however she wants.
I’m a guy. I might not have thought too much about it prior to her arrival, but lately I couldn’t get it off my mind: sex. I’m itching to have her, to feel the smoothness of her skin against mine. We’ve done things, yes, but we haven’t done that yet. She’s never been fully ready, but with her asking for me, with her wanting me to be there throughout her heat, I can only imagine that means she’ll want me like that.
I might not have a knot, but she has that fake one. I’m sure that, combined with myself, will at least help alleviate the pain she’ll undoubtedly feel.
After my shower, I return to my bedroom, wearing nothing but sweatpants and a t-shirt. I feel naked without my hoodie, but there’s no point in wearing it here. Besides, she already saw my scars. She knows me inside and out. If there’s one person in the world I should be comfortable with, it’s her.
When I return to my room, I find she’s still fast asleep in my bed. My entire room is a mess; she’s taken it over completely for her nest. Blankets and pillows and clothes are strewn everywhere. I’m not the best at keeping my room clean, but this is a new level of messiness for me—but it’s all for her. All for Raeka. I’d leave my room permanently like this if that’s what she wanted.
I gently crawl onto the bed beside her, careful to not wake her. She’ll need every bit of sleep she can get if what I know about heats is true.
For a while, I watch her sleep. She’s so peaceful, her lips parted slightly, and I know that expression on her face will soon give way to a desperate, fevered need. I’ve never experienced an omega’s heat before, and she’s never had a heat with someone else in the room. It’ll be a first for us both.
Honestly, though? I think she should’ve let Pax and Gideon stay. They wouldn’t have done anything she didn’t want, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe she still didn’t trust herself, or she didn’t want to admit the truth yet.
I might not be able to speak for the others, but I’m pretty sure they’ll be patient as long as it takes. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see my uncle cares for her, and Pax? That alpha will do anything to make her happy.
Raeka has all of us. She just needs to accept it.
An undetermined amount of time passes, and Raeka finally shows signs of waking up. Her eyes don’t open right away; instead, she whines and claws at her shirt, saying something incomprehensible.
I want to ask her if she’s warm, and I open my mouth to say the words, to use my voice, but when I part my lips nothing comes out. Gideon has brought therapists here, and when it comes to my muteness, they all say my voice might return…
Or that it might not. That it’s a psychological thing. That it’s up to me.
Believe me, if ever there was a time to talk, it’s right now, as I lay there beside Raeka, watching as her skin turns pinkish with the elevated body temperature of a heat. But, unfortunately, my voice does not make its return, so I do the only thing I can: when she cracks her eyelids open, I work on helping her out of her shirt.
The rest of her clothes follow shortly after, and within another minute, she’s laying beside me, fully naked, every inch of her on display. She whines, taking me by the hand and pulling us both to the floor, where layer upon layer of blanket pads the otherwise not-too-comfortable carpeting.
When we sit on the floor, she’s a woman on a mission, wasting no time whatsoever. Her gray eyes are focused on me, and she’s clumsy as she pulls my shirt up and over my head, exposing my torso.
Of course I wish I was as big as Pax and my uncle, but no amount of wishing will ever change the fact I am a beta and have the stature of one. Five-eight might not be too bad compared to an omega, but side by side to an alpha and I feel as if I’m an omega myself. I lack the broadness of the shoulders, the thick muscles in the arms, and the squares on the abdomen.
Don’t get me wrong, if I worked out, I could bulk myself up, but it’d be a heck of a lot of work, whereas to alphas, that stuff just comes naturally. They’re built differently.
But, even though I’m not as physically impressive as the two alphas downstairs, Raeka doesn’t seem to mind. With my shirt off, she runs her hands along my chest, humming beforeshe leans forward and nuzzles against my neck. The action is intimate, and I respond by wrapping my arms around her bare back and pulling her onto my chest.
I want to tell her that she’s become everything to me. That, in such a short time, she’s become the only thing that keeps me going, the thing that makes it easier for me to go on. Not too long ago, I was miserable. I didn’t see the point of any of this. I hardly felt alive.
Now? Now everything is brighter, and I owe that to her. God, I wish I could tell her, not just with my hands or with my tablet, but with my voice.
Raeka’s mouth finds mine, and she kisses me with an earnestness that tells me she must be in the beginning throes of her heat. She wraps both her arms around mine as her tongue pushes its way past my lips.
Her touch sets me on fire. Everything in me comes alive, especially that thing between my legs. My cock. I never really paid it much attention before her, and now… now it’s impossible to ignore. It’s hard as steel, the pressure in me instantly rising to a boiling point, a sweet torture that will soon get its release one way or another.
She pulls her mouth off mine, scooting off my lap and laying down before me on her back. Spreading her legs wide and giving me a nice, long view of the wet space between her legs, she pants out, “Take it off. All of it.” I’ve never heard her sound so desperate before.
What can I do besides follow her instruction? Nothing. My sweats come off easily, as do the boxers beneath them. My hard cock springs free, and out of habit I feel out of place, like I don’t know what exactly I’m doing—because I’ve never done this before—but one look at Raeka calms those anxieties. With the way she’s steadily gazing at me, I feel strangely perfect.
Here, in this moment, I am just what she needs.
“Fuck me, Colter.” She’s practically begging me. “I want you to fuck me. I need you to.”