Page 84 of His Sassy Omega
“Sorry,” Finn apologized when he pushed harder, in a different spot. “Sometimes you have to press hard to get the right image.”
I waved a hand in the air, brushing off his apology. I hadn’t spoken since he’d started the ultrasound, my eyes glued firmly to the ceiling tiles directly above me. I didn’t want to look at the screen, didn’t want to see whatever image might be displayed. I swallowed down the hot bed of emotions clogging my throat, tightening my jaw sharply, teeth grinding together. My muscles were tense, every joint and ligament locked.
Lachlan was on the opposite side of me from where Finn was. I’d lowered my eyes once, to look at him, but his attention had been solidly glued to the black and white monitor. He’d tried to take my hand, when I’d gotten into position on the table, but I’d yanked it away. I’d hated the brief flash of hurt I’d seen in his blue eyes, before I’d looked away. I couldn’t have him touch me right now, couldn’t have him holding my hand, with his sweet brand of tenderness.
It would break me, shatter me into a million little glass pieces, that I didn’t know if I would be able to put back together. I needed the distance to get through this. From him, from the screen, even from myself. I had to turn off all my feelings.
Once it was all over, I’d break down. Silently, alone, in my own space, away from everyone.
It’s what I’d always done, and I didn’t see a reason to change it. It was how I coped with things. Hard things. Heartache, sadness, grief.
“That bean looking thing is our pup?” Lachlan asked, leaning over me a little, to get a closer look at the black, white, and gray screen, where Finn must have been pointing to something. I kept my eyes glued to the ceiling, wanting to look but forcing myself not to. Counting ceiling tiles.
Finn moved the wand over my stomach, humming softly, clicking dials. “This little flutter right here, that’s the heartbeat.”
Heartbeat.
In my mind I knew that was probably true. I remembered enough about sex education from high school health class, to understand the gist of things. Being shifters, our gestation periods were shorter than humans. While our animals had much shorter gestation periods, most shifters nowadays carried for about seven months, on average.
Shorter than humans, but much longer than our animal counterparts. I wasn’t sure what the period was for a wolf to carry pups, but a full black leopard usually only carried cubs for about three months.
Because of the shorter gestation period from humans, fetuses developed at a faster rate in the womb. Meaning we’d be able to see the heartbeat, or the sex of the pup, before humans.
I wouldn’t look. If I looked it would be real. If I looked, I might not be able to go through with the termination. I needed to go through with it.
I wanted to look. For just a second, I wanted a tiny peek, just to have the memory. Even if it would make it a thousand times more painful. I just needed something to hold onto, to remember in the times I would be alone, with just my memories.
Lachlan leaned farther across me, and I batted at his big shoulders. Between him and Finn on either side of me, I felt like I was crowded and suffocating. Like I couldn’t get enough oxygen in my lungs, couldn’t take a deep breath in.
“You were correct.” Finn continued moving the hard wand over my belly. This side than that, turning it every which way, until I wanted to snarl at him. “You’re a little over three weeks along.”
“Why are there two bean things?” Lachlan’s question had my head swinging sharply in his direction.
“What?” My voice rose two octaves. “What do you mean,twobean things!?”
My crazed eyes locked onto Lachlan’s equally wide ones. We both turned to Finn, a silent question hanging in the air.
Finn finally took the wand off my belly, clicking on buttons on the keyboard and freezing the screen. He turned to us; with a look I couldn’t even begin to decipher on his face.
“Congratulations, it’s twins.”
Stunned silence filled the room. My brain was buzzing with nothing but white noise. I gulped, made a wheezing, garbled sound. Tried desperately to fill my lungs with air, and make sense of the words.
Lachlan’s short burst of gleeful laughter disturbed my freak out. I swung my wild gaze to see him doing some kind ofdance, for lack of a better word. His knees were going wonky, arms flailing, butt wiggling, a huge grin on his face.
I pushed myself up on my elbows, scowling at him. “Stop that! What are you even doing? Don’t ever do whateverthatwas again. It’s just…no.”
He tossed me a besotted look, grinning, and still shaking his ass. Throwing one fist up, he pumped the air in what could only be a sign of victory.
“Are you proud of yourself?” I hissed, teeth clenched. “You are!”
He pounded his chest with his fist. “I did that. Me. I made two babies! Whoop!”
I turned to face Finn, ignoring Lachlan. “When can I terminate?”
Lachlan’s crazy movements stopped, his entire body tensing, the joy on his face vanishing, mouth turned down in a frown. Finn looked troubled, his eyes roaming from my face to Lachlan’s before a mask of professionalism replaced it.
“You have about another three weeks to make a final decision.”
