Page 57 of His Gentle Omega
Rubbing my sweaty palms down my thighs, I once again willed my racing heart to slow. This was no time for me to give in to the suffocating feelings wrapped around my chest and throat. Lucas needed me to do this.Ineeded me to be able to do this. If doing this made me look better to the judge, I would get through this.
The exhaustion that had become a part of me for so long that I barely even noticed it anymore, threatened to suck me down into its abyss. Some days I wanted to just close my eyes, for a minute, and let the world pass me by.
Just get through this, Shay. Then you can rest. One foot in front of the other. One thing checked off the endless list of things you need to do.
Not sure if I should knock, ring the bell, or just walk inside, I startled when the door quietly opened, taking the guessing out of my hands. Flinching at the suddenness of the movement, I hoped the beta woman standing in front of me hadn’t noticed.
I hated that I automatically flinched when things startled me. I couldn’t even remember when it had started, and even though I knew it was my mind’s way of dealing with my environment, it still made me feel weak.
Choosing to act like the sudden movement hadn’t taken a year off my life, I stared down at the woman whose sharp brown eyes were giving me the once over. It felt like she was seeing every secret that I didn’t want to share, when she finally moved back, waving a hand to welcome me in.
“You must be Shay,” she stated matter-of-factly, closing the door behind me. Holding out a hand, I took it, noting her surprisingly firm grasp and handshake. “I’m Tessa. Or Doc Tessa. Tess. Dr. Carpenter.” She waved a dismissive hand in the air, “Whatever you’re comfortable with, I’m not choosy. Follow me and we’ll get started.”
Oh, okay then. Dr. Tessa was a let’s get straight down to business type. Much like Alex had been.
Taking a deep breath that was forceful enough to move my shoulders clear up to my ears, I slowly followed her into her office.
The room was wall to wall gleaming woodwork and built in bookcases. A massive desk took up space in front of a bay window, along with the requisite couch placed in front of it. Two in fact, facing each other, along with several cushioned armchairs.
Tessa, dressed in jeans and a cheerful pink blouse, dark hair falling down her back, gestured to the seating. “Wherever you’re comfortable.”
She moved to the desk to pick up a file folder–I was getting a little tired of everyone having folders on me today–and a notebook and pen.
Sinking onto the couch, I perched nervously on the edge, elbows digging into my knees. Tessa took the seat opposite me and smiled warmly. Trying to put me at ease, I was sure, but that ship had sailed and crashed against the rocks. It was all I could do to keep my foot from thumping nervously against the hardwood floor.
“Shay, you don’t need to be nervous.” Her voice was soothing, I’d give her credit for that. It still did very little to dispel the anxious knots taking up room in my stomach.
“I…I’ve never been to a shrink before. I’m not sure what to expect,” I admitted, trying to relax and failing miserably. “Sorry, is shrink a bad term?”
“It’s fine. Lots of people get nervous their first time,” she nodded, not bothering to open the file she placed next to her. “I always try to explain what to expect, and hopefully ease their discomfort somewhat. How does that sound?”
Nodding, I sat back a little, until my back hit the cushion of the couch. “Okay.”
“As Alex may have explained, the judge who handles family court will, as a standard procedure, require an alpha who hasdeclared Alpha Law to have at least five sessions with me before he makes his final ruling. Having a few already under your belt before the court hearing will work in your favor.”
“So, Alex is just getting ahead of the game?” Seemed like a smart plan, and I vaguely recalled him saying something to that effect. Honestly, some of what had happened in his office was still a bit muddled. “I mean, if I already have the five before the court date that’s good, right?”
“Pretty much. Alex is nothing if not thorough, and he has an amazing way of seeing all the players on the board, so to speak. Along with an uncanny ability to anticipate what moves the opponents will make and all the outcomes.” She tapped her pen against the pad of paper.
“I like to jump right into things,” Tessa continued, and I nodded, because that seemed all I was capable of doing today. I felt completely overwhelmed and out of my depth, but I also knew I needed help to navigate all of this. For whatever reason, these people wanted to help me, and I wasn’t about to turn them down, even if all of it made me nervous and anxious. “I have some information that Alex sent over. The police and hospital reports.”
Did everyone in this town have my police and hospital report?
These people are trying to help us, Shay, my tiger chuffed softly.
“Tell me about the incident that prompted you to leave with your son? The one that made you decide to declare Alpha Law.”
Nibbling on my bottom lip, I stared at my hands, the floor, anywhere but at Tessa and her all-seeing eyes. She waited, patiently, for me to respond. Not hurrying me or nudging me along.
When I still hesitated to speak, she sat her notepad aside and leaned towards me. “I want you to know this is a safe place,Shay. Nothing you say to me leaves this room. I will be asked to write a report to submit to the court, but it won’t be about anything beyond the circumstances that brought about your decision, unless I feel it’s needed. The judge will want to know if you’re a fit father and have a stable household. That kind of thing. The only exception to doctor-patient confidentiality is in the event I feel you are going to do harm to yourself or your child. At some point, I will need to speak to…” pausing, she flipped open the file folder and scanned it. “Lucas.”
“No!” The word burst from me, forceful and angry, and I shook my head vehemently. “I…no…he’s just a child.”
To her credit, Tessa didn’t seem phased by my outburst. She sat back, smiling her comforting smile. “And you are obviously doing everything in your power to protect him. But I will need to speak to him. That’s non-negotiable. Now, tell me about the night you left your mate. Edward, correct?”
“You read the reports. You know that’s his name.” Why did I sound so belligerent when she was just trying to help me? “Ex mate.”
She shrugged, crossing one leg over the other. “What happened that night that was different?”
