Page 65 of His Gentle Omega
Inhaling sharply, my shoulders squeezed together. My jaw clenched so tight it ached, and I had to bite the inside of my lip to keep myself from crying out. The tears I couldn’t stop slid silently down my cheeks, but I refused to look up at Shay. Refused to meet his eyes. “I love you too, Lucas. Be good, okay? You can come over anytime.”
The words were true; I had fallen in love with this little boy, and his father, too. In a ridiculously short amount of time. But Lucas had stolen my heart, practically from the first moment in the hospital, and he hadn’t given it back.
Lucas, finally catching on that something was happening between the adults in the room, didn’t look up at my face, thank the Goddess. Instead, he ran past his dad to his uncle. Asher ushered him out the door, quietly closing it behind him. Through the large picture window, I saw him holding the little boy’s hand and walking him across the street to his house.
Swiping angrily at my tears, I turned and hurried into the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel and dabbing at my eyes. Leaning against the counter, I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to steady my nerves, and waited for Shay to follow me.
When he hesitantly appeared in the space between the kitchen and dining room, I quietly asked, “Are you going back to him?”
Shay flinched like I had slapped him. “What? No!” Then more calmly, he repeated, “No, I’m not going back to Edward.”
“Oh.” My voice was small and quiet. It wasn’t unheard of, an abuse victim returning to their abuser. It happened a startling amount of the time. More times than I cared to think about. This might have been easier to take if he had said he was going back to Edward. “But this is good-bye?”
I didn’t mean them moving next door and leaving my house. No, this was something more, deeper, permanent.
Shay took a shallow breath, then let it out slowly, and for the first time I noticed he was trembling. “I need to just get this out, and say it, so please, just let me speak. This isn’t easy for me, at all, and it’s killing me that what I’m going to say is going to hurt you. Because hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do.”
“Then don’t.” I petulantly cried. Knowing I was being unfair, and selfish, and not caring. For once in my life, I wanted to be the selfish one. To demand what I wanted.
Shay’s face was gray, and he almost looked exactly like when he had been lying in that hospital bed. His eyes had a haunted look, glistening with moisture, his mouth a grim line. “Please, Bennett. I need you to just listen to me. And then, if you hate me, fine. But I need to get this out.”
Sniffing, I nodded my head for him to speak. To say what he had to say. My muscles were so tight, I was afraid if I moved even an inch, they would snap in two.
“I agreed to file charges against Edward for assault and battery, and for a protective order,” he began, his voice shaking. “And when Alex asked me if I wanted to do that, honestly, myfirst thought was no. I just want my son, and my life back. But then I thought, what am I teaching Lucas if I don’t file these charges? That it’s okay for a person to treat another person the way Edward treated me? For someone who is supposed to love you to hurt you that way? It's not how I want to raise him, to think that any of that is acceptable. I haven’t been the best alpha role model for him, but I’m trying to change that. I agreed to the charges, so no, I am not going back to Edward. Ever.” His voice was clear and steady on that last word, and I believed him.
Wrapping my arms tightly around my waist again, I hoped it would stop my stomach from heaving up into my throat. My body was trembling, and I hoped the gesture would lessen the shivers.
Shay swallowed hard, clasping his hands tightly in front of him, until his fingers were nearly white. “Alex sent me to Tessa Carpenter today. He thought it would be a good idea for the Alpha Law case. She and I talked for hours.”
“She’s really good,” I whispered, staring at Shay’s clenched hands in front of him.
“She is,” he agreed quietly, then he made a sound that was sort of a dry laugh. “She gave me homework. And a hell of a lot to think about. I sat in the park for hours before Asher found me, trying to figure some things out.”
“Like?” Even as I asked the question, I knew I really didn’t want to know the answer. More tears fell from my eyes, and I didn’t even try to stop them.
Shay released his hands and rubbed them lightly down his thighs. Over and over, until the sound they made was like an echo in my head. I wanted to shout at him to just spit out whatever it was he was going to say to me. But I doubted I could even get the words passed my tightly locked jaw and throat.
His eyes closed for a brief second, before he looked at me with so much tenderness and regret, my chest flared with physical pain, and I gasped out loud. This must be what an actual broken heart feels like, I thought a bit hysterically. First Lucas and now Shay. The pain merged into numbness, spreading down my body, and I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.
“You weren’t in my plans, Bennett, not at all,” Shay whispered, his tone slightly desperate. “I didn’t plan on meeting my fated mate, and definitely not meeting you. You’re so kind. And gentle. And just so very, very good.”
“I’m not a fucking saint, Shay,” I snapped, hating the way he flinched at my sharp, angry words.
“But you were my savior,” he whispered roughly. “And my son’s. You saved us, probably more than you even realize or I can ever explain in words. And I’m not just talking about at the hospital or taking us into your home. But in here,” he laid a palm across his chest, “you saved us.”
“My life is a mess right now,” he continued, his voice anguished. “Edward is going to fight the Alpha Law, and it will probably get ugly. He’s going to use anything he can against me.”
“And you don’t want him using me?” I guessed, nodding.
It was a scenario I had seen happen over and over, in cases like his. It happened all the time. Exes using any ammunition they could against the other to make them look bad. I knew this, I did. It was much easier to advise someone to not get involved with a new partner during court cases, when it wasn’t happening to you. Because this…this was absolute hell.
Shay shook his head, “It’s not just that. Edward and I have been over for a long time. I was window dressing to him. Nothing more than his pretty possession to show off when he chose. And later, to be hidden away unless it served his purpose somehow.But he doesn’t fight fair, and he’s mean. I don’t want him anywhere near you, honestly. I don’t want my mess dirtying your life. Tarnishing you.”
Shaking my head, I cried, “That’s my decision to make, Shay. It’s my life.”
Shay bowed his head, his shoulders slumped in defeat, before he looked up. Tears were shimmering on his lashes, and I watched as one, then the other, trailed down his pale cheeks. “Bennett,please, please, listen to what I’m going to say. Please, hear me. Because I haven’t admitted this to anyone, not really. A bit to Tessa–well, a lot to her–but no one else. Not even Asher. This is so hard for me to say.”
Shrugging one shoulder, I scuffed my toe against the tile on the kitchen floor. “Just say it.”
