Page 55 of What A Croc
Pain slammed into my chest so hard, it felt like I had been punched by an invisible fist, and I gasped loudly as all the breath rushed from my lungs.
“And for just a second in there, that feeling came back to me.” Wyatt turned to me, and I blinked furiously, tryingto not let the burning tears I could feel at the back of my eyes fall. “But it’s Mother that shouldn’t have had more kids, not you, Pops. And I’m really happy that you are getting this chance. That she didn’t steal that from you.”
The tears fell then, like a dam had broken and the flood waters spilled over. Swiping at them, I muttered, “It’s just hormones.”
Wyatt gave me a soft smile, then wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for an awkward side hug. “Sure, Pops. I’m sorry I was a shithead in there. You didn’t deserve that. I am happy for you and Jackson.”
“You don’t think I’m too old?” Sniffling, I wiped at my nose with the back of my hand.
“Stop with the old man crap,” Wyatt grumbled. “You act like you have one foot in the grave. And Becks was older than you when we had Julianna. Yeah, yeah, I know, he’s an alpha and it’s different. But fuck that. You have a hot younger alpha who looks at you with heart eyes, and you’re having his baby. As Wade and Seth would say,” he snapped his fingers three times at me, making sort of a Z pattern in the air with his hand, “get it!”
Snort laughing at his imitation of his two over-the-top friends, I felt the tension start to ease from my tense shoulders. “Heart eyes?”
Wyatt stared at me with astonished eyes. “Pops, Jackson is head over heels for you. It makes me so happy to see you being treated like you deserveby an alpha.”
We were silent for a minute, the only sound the creaking of the chairs, and the night bugs chirping.
“Wyatt, I–” pausing, because I needed a minute to form my thoughts, and I was about to open a door I had tried very hard to keep closed. But keeping it closed did neither of us any good, not really. “I want you to know that no matter what happened while you were growing up, you were wanted.Iwanted you. I was so happy when I was pregnant with you. I used to read to you before you were born. I’d feel you moving inside me, and I was so unbelievably happy. I wish I would have–I should have–stood up to your mother when she insisted on nannies when you were just a couple of months old. I should have done a lot of things that I didn’t. And all I can do is tell you how very sorry I am. Looking back, I think not having access to you after she hired the first nanny, not being even allowed to see you for more than a few minutes a day…I fell into a kind of black hole.”
Swiping at my tears, I took a shaky breath. “I’ve had some time to look back on it, and I’m fairly certain I was depressed, and I just gave up, instead of fighting for you. After your intelligence was verified, and your mother became obsessed with getting you into the best schools, exploiting you, really, well, I just felt like you didn’t need me and it was too late. You were so independent, so smart, so cold even, and I just thought you didn’t need me. I will regret it all for the rest of my life, but I will not make thesame mistakes with this baby.” My hand fell protectively over my tummy. “I’m really happy about this baby, Wyatt. I’m excited, and it feels like a second chance, a fresh start.”
Wyatt turned to me, his face a mixture of emotions I couldn’t discern. “I will always need you, Pops. Always.”
This time he pulled me in for a proper hug, his arms squeezing me tightly. Closing my eyes, I savored the feeling of just hugging my son. For so many years, he hadn’t been available for me to hug him, and I had honestly thought at times I would never know what it felt like to hold him close.
“I love you, Pops,” Wyatt whispered in my ear.
“I love you too, son.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jackson
Running my sweaty palms down the pants of my charcoal suit, I raised a shaking hand and knocked on the closed door of Wyatt’s office. Flexing my fist, I shook my hands, trying to stop the tremors.
Get a grip, my croc snarled, completely unimpressed when my uncharacteristic bout of nerves.He’s not going to say no.
I know. It’s just…I don’t know. This is different than when I asked for Levi’s hand.
The fuck it is. It’s exactly the same. Pretty old fashioned, is what it is, but you do you.
It’s not the same at all. There’s something very different than asking a mother for his son’s hand and asking the man’s son.
The only response I got was a snarl and a snap of his tail. He thought I was being ridiculous, and he might be right. Because I was way more nervous standing outside Wyatt’s office door than I had ever been sitting in Levi’s mom’s living room.
“Come in!” Wyatt’s voice called, and my heart jumped right back up in my throat. Along with what felt like every other organ I owned.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out at the same time I entered Wyatt’s office. It was decent sized, with a desk and a small table to the side with chairs. The walls were adorned with all kinds of children’s colorful artwork.
Wyatt looked surprised to see me, standing when he realized it wasn’t one of his staff. “Jackson, this is a surprise. Pop’s has gone home for the day.”
Running a still slightly shaking hand through my hair, I nodded. “I know. I wanted to speak with you, in private.”
He looked confused, but moved over to the table, indicating I should sit. I did, thankful the chairs were adult size. “Is there an issue with Aiden? We love having him here.”
“Aiden loves coming here too,” I hurried to assure him.
He gave me a small smile. “Ah, then is this about dinner last night? The pregnancy? I really am happy for Pops. For the both of you.”
