Page 91 of Dead Crown
“I’ll be going, but not to fight,” said Elswere. “Age isn’t being too kind.”
Lord Smith stood and bowed. “Very well. I’ll see you all soon, and I thank you for the food.”
Elswere peered at his son after Lord Smith left the room. “When you come back after the war…” He paused. Perhaps the idea of Jaki never returning played in his mind even if he didn’t want to say it. “What are you and Lumi doing?”
“We’ll both be coronated, Iceland will be united again as it should be, and we’ll get married.”
Elswere blinked at him.
“If those who remember him as the pleasure slave gossip all day and think I’m doing it because I accidentally got him up the pole, then so be it. I don't care what you think either. I love him.”
“You’re-you’re truly going to marry him? Your brother?”
“He’s the man I love. We both feel the same and can’t change it.”
Elswere shifted, stared at the fire, and plucked at his sleeve. “You’re not going to regret this later?”
“No, and I don’t regret our daughter even though I wish a lot of things had gone differently. Lumi says he doesn’t want to be known as Edur, so they don’t have to know the truth.”
“What if they look closer and guess? I can’t properly tell with my eyes, but the resemblance must be more noticeable since he’s not disguising himself. People might also wonder why he looks different now if they remember him from before. And if one starts to think a certain way and says anything…”
“If people think he’s my brother, and Edur didn’t actually die…” Jaki shrugged. “They can say what they want.”
“All right.”
Jaki stood and smoothed his coat. “Do you hate Lumi?”
“No. I hate what we did. And what I did to him. I can’t imagine facing him again.”
“I know this is difficult for you. It’s difficult for him too. You could try to speak to Lumi and see Jacqueline. They’re your family too, and there’s little left of it. It’ll ease Lumi’s mind if you don’t avoid him entirely because he thinks you hate him. He’s been through enough. Plus, Jacqueline won’t be a baby forever. She could use a Grandfather, you know.”
Elswere looked down at his lap. “All right.”
***
They sat in a carriage for the trip with guards following on horses. They too thought Jaki was going to pray to Elira in their first King’s tomb before the war officially started. If they thought it was odd, they weren’t saying anything about it.
Lumi looked so lost without their daughter. Jaki missed her too, and he figured it must have been worse for the one who’d carried and birthed her. He was used to feeding her too. He had to massage his pecs and dump the milk so they didn’t grow too full and painful which could lead to them drying up too soon. Mary said he had to trick his body to keep producing.
It wasn’t too bad in the carriage, and since a second was following for the High Mage to ride in, the guards could take turns inside to get out of the frigid air. For the first three nights, they stayed at inns, and in the morning, they traded the horses out since they had a hard job with all of the snow. Afterward, they slept in the carriage since nothing was nearby. The guards had brought decent tents and thick sleeping rolls to use.
The wide, sturdy wheels kept them going despite the snow, and ahead, two horses rode to trample it down a bit. So far, they’d been maintaining a slow, steady pace.
Lumi had gotten into his seat, and with furs covering them, Jaki cuddled him close. Lumi hadn’t seemed inclined towardphysical affection in the past few days, and Jaki assumed there would be times when Lumi might want to keep his body entirely to himself. Little things like that are often taken for granted.
Jaki stroked his hair which was almost entirely white except for a few stubborn patches where the glamor soap hadn’t quite worn away.
Lumi lifted his head from his chest. “You probably want, erm…”
“What?”
“I could give you a blowjob.”
Jaki widened his eyes. “I don’t need one.”
Lumi’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I’m sure you need release at some point.”
Jaki shifted to look at his face better. “Where is this coming from?”
