Page 28 of Kingdom of Tomorrow
“I did, yes.”
Damned if we had and damned if we hadn’t. “Both choices can’t be wrong. Sir. High Prince.” I pushed the title through clenched teeth.
“Motive is the beating heart of every action,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if it was an explanation or a rebuke. Probably both. “Do you think you made the correct decision?”
I struggled to put together a cohesive thought. Maybe I should have fought for the title and crossed lines. “I’m not sure,” I admitted, bowing my head. When I boiled my own motive down to the dregs, I discovered a clear winner, and it had nothing to do with the other soldiers. “My eyes were on the prize.”
“You’re not sure,” he echoed, his flat baritone somehow sharper than a blade. “You don’t even know yourself, Miss Roosa. How then are you able to recognize a true prize?”
He’d called memissagain, as if he didn’t see me as a soldier. Of course, Iwasn’ta soldier. But he was wrong about everything else; I did know myself. I just lacked confidence in myself. There was a difference.Always in the back of my mind I wondered if I was making a terrible mistake. Even now, I wasn’t certain I’d done anything right. In fact, I was more confused than ever.
Rather than defend my declaration, which could be a huge mistake—see!—I shifted in my seat and said, “You are my instructor. So, instruct me. Tell me what you would have done in my place?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Ihavebeen in your place. Ten years ago, I stood in that same ring. Like you, I opted not to shoot. For me, it wasn’t necessary. I invited every candidate to unload their darts into me. Having trained for such a time, I knew I could handle the toxin’s effects, no matter how high the dose. With a single act, I proved my strength and protected my team.”
That was kind of, well, wow. Awe inspiring and wise, but also insane and kind of hot. But only kind of! He wasn’t my type. Not that he was interested in me romantically. Unless he was. But he wasn’t. “The difference is, you spent your life training for the military. I’ve only ever wanted to grow food and flowers.”
“Perhaps, but youarein the military now.” His features hardened. “Shall I tell you where you went wrong, or do you prefer to continue making excuses?”
His previous description clanged between my ears. Lipstick on fear. “Please do,” I said, leaning toward him, eager to learn. I’d only been begging for an explanation since minute one, my craving for correction far surpassing my annoyance with him. Correction equaled progress.
“A strong leader takes command of a situation, but a smart one recognizes an opportunity.” He paused, considered his next words. “Why do you thinkCuredoffers the top soldier such a staggering prize?”
I hadn’t considered it before, but I considered it now. “So everyone will work harder and do their best?”
“Yes. We’ve already established one of your greatest weaknesses is your indecision. If a team trusts your character but not your commands, will you be an effective leader?”
“No,” I whispered.
“If you are not an effective leader, are you a candidate for top lady?”
“No,” I repeated, hanging my head.
“But as a lady at the bottom of the barrel, you now have a chance to rise in the ranks rather than crumble under a weight you aren’t yet strong enough to carry. You have room to defeat your fear, grow to understand your strengths, and gain the experience you lack. Do you acknowledge this?”
Suddenly, I didn’t have to wonder if I’d made mistakes. I had. “Yes,” I croaked. He’d pegged me with fiery dart after fiery dart of honesty.
“Fear doesn’t forge good leaders, Miss Roosa. It destroys them.” Drumming his fingers over the arm of his chair, he watched me, silent. Though he was in his late twenties, his harsh features contained a century’s worth of tenacity. Caged aggression glittered in his eyes. “If you’ll let me teach you, you will survive longer than originally anticipated. That’s my guarantee.”
“Sir, yes, sir. High Prince.” I stared down at my wringing fingers. “Thank you, High Prince.”
He sighed. “You are dismissed.”
Feeling as if I’d gotten spanked but maybe, possibly, a little grateful for it, I stood. Clarity was a gift, and his severe but fair critique had scraped off several layers of confusion. Considering how behind the curve I was, I had a lot of work to do in the coming weeks.
“BeCured, High Prince Dolion.”
“BeCured,” he muttered, shifting his attention to the tray of snacks.
For a moment, I thought I sensed raw loneliness and soul-shattering fatigue in him. But that couldn’t be right. He wasn’t lonely or tired. He was ... him.
“Is there something else?” he asked without glancing my way.
“No, sir.” I hurried from the office and rejoined my teammates. Hopefully my day improved. I was due for an upgrade.
Chapter Eight
Be strong, courageous, and assured; your weapons are mightier than your enemy’s.
