Page 80 of Here in My Heart
Madison gave a whimper of acknowledgment.
“You want to talk about why?”
“Not really.”
“You planning on doing something more serious?” Ade asked, not really wanting the answer.
Madison met her eye contact. “No.”
Ade believed her. But she had to make sure. “Are you thinking about it?”
Madison shrugged. “If I wanted to, I would’ve done it by now. Trust me.”
That did not make Ade feel a ton better. “What can I do to help?”
“I want to go home, but my folks say they’re not willing to pay the airfare, and I need to suck it up. They said I’m homesick, and I’ll feel better when the weather improves.”
Sounded like something her dad would say, and her pops would get mad about. “How do you feel about all that?”
Madison stared at her filthy shoes. “Trapped in this shitty place with no real friends and no one to talk to. I can’t understand half of what people say to me. The work is too hard, and the schedule is almost double what we had last semester.”
Ade’s computer of a brain returned a blank file.Damn it. Madison was sitting right there in front of her, expecting her to solve her problems. What would Sylvie do? Ade cleared her throat again. “I don’t think I have an answer right now.”
Madison rolled her eyes. “Great. Thanks.”
“Wait.” Ade started to pace and flapped her hands, which helped clear the fog in her mind. “I don’t think either of us need tohave all the answers.”
Madison screwed her nose up.
“It sounds like you’re feeling really lonely out here,” Ade said.
“I miss home.”
“And the pressure of classes is mounting.” Ade practiced the reflection technique her therapist had taught her to clarify meaning when she struggled to grip a social situation.
Madison nodded.
So far, so good.“What do you think the options are?”
Madison picked at her pink nail gels. “Go home.”
“That’s one option. Are there any others?”
“I guess I could reduce my class load. We talked about that before Christmas.”
Ade didn’t want to get into what had happened before Christmas, fearing the guilt about the faked report cards would worsen Madison’s current mood. But tweaking her schedule was pretty safe ground. Even Sylvie couldn’t deny that. “I can definitely help with your schedule. I’ll speak to the faculty admin today, and we’ll see what we can do. What else? Have you spoken to anyone about how you’re feeling?”
“Nuh-uh.” Madison shook her head. “But I think Greg is a good guy. The others are pretty toxic.”
“Greg is solid, I can attest to that.” Ade nodded, finally on firm ground. She sat back down, leaning back, not wishing to crowd Madison and cause her to panic. “What about the cutting? Can we do anything about that?”
“I’ve always done it. It’s nothing new.” Madison pulled her bag on her lap. “I’ll try not to, but I can’t make promises.”
“I get that.” Ade was out of her depth with this, but she pressed on. “Promise me one thing, okay? Stay safe. Keep it clean and try not to get infected. And if you do feel worse… I mean, if you think about hurting yourself, come and talk to me or someone else. I’ll make a referral to the well-being team.”
Ade continued her sessions, pushing the worry about Madisonto the back of her mind until the end of the day, when she downloaded to Sylvie on their way home.
“It sounds like you handled that really well,” said Sylvie.
