Page 24 of The Care of Broken Things
“Oh, all sorts of things. The head of the classics department gives him a lot of leeway considering he’s basically keeping them afloat. I joke that once I’m retired, I’ll enroll with the seniors’ discount, but Nathaniel says he’ll give me private lessons instead.”
Samuel didn’t need to contribute much, or anything, to keep Eli going once he was on his favorite topic. He probably would have gone on in that way for hours if he hadn’t interrupted him.
“Your daughter wants to write to me. Is that okay?”
The words were all he needed to derail Eli’s train of thought. “Hailey?” he said.
From what Samuel had gathered, the man only had onekid. “Yes.”
There was a bit of blinking, but it soon turned into a smile. “She’s got good taste.”
He blushed. He didn’t realize he was going to do it, but his face felt hot, and Eli’s smile widened. “Have fun, puppy,” he said, and he ruffled his hair. One moment he was picking the raisins out of his trail mix, and the next there was an impossibly warm, impossibly large hand on his scalp. Between the heat on his face and the heat on his head, Samuel felt about ready to pass out. He ducked away and went to busy himself with straightening the pantry that didn’t need straightening. It was only once the blush had faded and his head had cleared that he had space for thought.Puppy?
Hailey’s letter came a few days later. Mathews dropped it onto the library table. “Found yourself a girlfriend, Fuller?”
He leveled the man with a look. Mathews eased out without another word. Samuel waited for the footsteps to fade before he slit the envelope open.
Dear Samuel,
I hope you’re well, but you’re probably not. I’ve been reading memoirs about prison and they’re awful. Thaniel takes the books away when he finds them, but I’m good at hiding. It’s been a few weeks now, but sometimes I still forget daddy’s gone. I’ll wake up and think, “We should make waffles today,” but then I remember he’s not here and won’t be for a long time. I asked Jenny if that’s how it is for her, but she says no, she never forgets. Maybe because it’s been so long. Is that how it is for you? Or do you sometimes wake up and just for a second forget you’re in prison? I hope you can forget sometimes, and that you can make daddy forget too. Thaniel says it would be better if it was him in prison instead, and not just because he doesn’t get sick and can eat everything, but I’m not sure I agree.I think if anyone could trade places with Daddy it should be me. I’m used to bullies and being alone, though I know better than to say that out loud. Thaniel would bring me to one of those child psychologists. I know he and daddy both think I should see one. But what would they know? I doubt there are many psychologists with fathers in prison. I’m the only one in my school, I think.
Thaniel made me promise not to bother you about daddy, but I lied. I need to bother you, so I hope you don’t mind. I figured we could do an exchange. You keep me updated about my dad, and I’ll do the same with your sister. Don’t worry, I won’t spy on her or anything. I know it’s not really a fair deal. Daddy needs a lot more protection than Jenny does, so if there is anything else you want from me, I’ll try to do it.
I’m not sure how much Thaniel told you about my dad, so I’ll outline some things here.
Daddy absolutely can’t eat gluten. If you think he’s eaten gluten, flush out his mouth. If he’s eaten more than a couple of spoonfuls, and not a lot of time has passed, make him throw it up. He will become very weak very fast so try to get him to a safe place where he can rest or you’ll have to carry him. He won’t want you to care for him, so be prepared to insist. The worst symptoms will be in the first three days. He’ll get bad abdominal pain and migraines. Make sure he stays hydrated. Usually Thaniel or Dex will hook him up to IV fluids, but you won’t be able to do that there, so just mix a little salt in with his water. He sweats a lot during glutenings so he’ll also need to drink a lot but do it slowly. If you give him too much too fast, he’ll vomit. He also can’t eat while he’s recovering so don’t try to feed him. He should know best himself when it’s safe to eat. After about three days he should be able to get up and return to some activities, but his joints will still hurt. I know you don’t have baths in prison, but maybe hot showers could help?
Daddy shouldn’t eat artificial flavorings, soy, dairy, sugar alcohols, sugar, vegetable oils, or alcohol. Thaniel says it’ll be impossible to avoid everything while he’s in prison, so I guess that means having symptoms most of the time. That means more joint pain, gastritis, dry itchy skin, and trouble sleeping. He’ll also have headaches, fatigue, and get infections more easily. Avoiding stress will help. He likes to push himself too hard and doesn't listen when people tell him to stop. Sometimes Thaniel pretends to be spoiled to get daddy to slow down. You could try that too. If you make it seem like he’s doing something for your sake, he’s more likely to listen.
He hates when people worry about him and will try to hide when he’s not feeling well, so you have to look for signs. He gets more forgetful when he’s tired. Also look out for depression. He will try to smile even when he’s sad, but when he’s happy he sings, so if he stops singing for a few days you should look for what’s bothering him.
He can’t stand to be in someone’s debt, so if you do something for him, please ask him for return favors even if you don’t need anything. Just make up random things if you need to.
I heard from Thaniel that you’ve been feeding daddy a lot of fish. That’s the best thing you could give him, but it probably tastes gross. It will help if you eat together with him, even if you’re not eating the same things. Don’t worry about making him jealous of your food. He likes when people enjoy what they’re eating, but he hates eating alone. He would rather be hungry than eat by himself, so if you don’t think he’s eating enough then just eat something yourself and invite him to sit with you. He’ll force himself to eat even if he doesn’t feel like it to avoid being rude. Also, he loves cooking for other people but won’t bother for himself, so if you want him to eat something good then ask if you can share his food. But I don’t know how much he can doabout it in prison. It makes me so sad when I think about that. The kitchen is his favorite part of the house. I’m sure he’s lost weight. Thaniel has too. He misses daddy so much I get sad just being next to him. I’m trying to learn Daddy’s recipes so Thaniel eats, but it’s difficult since Daddy never writes anything down and changes his recipes all the time. Maybe you can get some from him. Ask him for his banana bread recipe and don’t let him say “I don’t remember.” He always says that. You’ll have to sit on him until he gives it to you.
I think that’s enough for now. If I remember more things, I’ll include them in other letters. But this one is already getting long and Thaniel says long letters are rude, so I’ll end by wishing you well again. Please keep yourself and my dad safe.
Love,
Hailey
P.S. I’ve started a bonsai for you, and even if you’re in prison for another ten years, it will still be a baby when you get out. Let me know what you want to name it. Trees grow better with names.
He read the letter three times before he set it down on the desk, and even then he hardly knew what to think about it. Nathaniel had told him Hailey was only in the sixth grade, but she seemed older than that. Did sixth graders know how to write so well? He’d had kids in his high school who could barely string a sentence together and they were supposed to be "gifted.” More like gifted with fat bank accounts. But this girl, Hailey, was smart.
He read the letter over a fourth time, trying to read between the lines. So Nathaniel wasn’t doing so hot. Well, the dark circles had told him that much. Was Eli doing better? He’d thought so, but he’d also never heard Eli sing, and according to Haileythat was a bad sign. Then again, wouldn’t people normally stifle those kinds of urges in prison? He heard whistling sometimes, but whistling was obnoxious, and something you did more to show off that you were happy than something to really be happy about. The most substantive thing he’d gathered from the letter was just how serious Eli’s condition was, and now that he knew it the man’s fasting didn’t seem so crazy. Better to be hungry than practically at death’s door.
He tucked the letter into his waistband and went to find Eli. He found him doing a puzzle with Nine-fingers who was ex-yakuza and hardly spoke any English, but that didn’t stop Eli. The man was far too friendly for his own good. With a hand at the back of his jumpsuit, he hauled Eli off his bench and led him out of the cafeteria.
“Stop making friends with criminals.”
“But then I wouldn’t have any friends at all.”
“It’s a prison. You’re not supposed to have friends.”
“I have you.”
He refused to let that fluster him. “I’m hungry.”
