Page 101 of Barefoot Dreams
“And I’m crying for no reason right now.”
“Well, I did poke you. I’m sorry about that.” I feel her hand wiping the unnecessary tear off my cheek.
“But it didn’t hurt like that. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m overly emotional, aren’t I?”
“When I was pregnant with you, I’d cry over anything.”
Pregnant.
That’s the word that snaps me out of my stupor and life comes back into focus as I turn my head toward mom. “I-I’m not…I can’t be…I…I…” I stutter, my eyes feel like they’re about to pop open. “Pregnant…” This last part comes out as a whisper.
“Shh, honey. Come here.” The joyous expression she had on is once again replaced with concern as she winds her arm around my waist and drags me into the kitchen toward the round breakfast nook.
A moment later, there’s a warm cup of chamomile tea in front of me and I let out a sigh of relief when it doesn’t make my stomach queasy.
“Did you take a test?” Mom asks, and I shake my head.
“No. No, I haven’t. I hadn’t even considered this possibility.”
“I think you should. To be sure, although I can tell you without any tests that you are—one hundred percent—pregnant. Your aura is different.” She smiles sweetly, adoringly, and I burst into tears.
“Take that back, Mom. Please take that back. We can’t be pregnant yet. We’re not ready. We’re taking it one day at a time and this is equivalent to skipping the whole high school experience before you’re off to college. It’s like planting a seed and having the fruit ready to go the next morning. Or…or…”
“Julie bean, relax,” Mom says softly, laying a hand over my wildly gesturing one.
“Mom!” I wail. “I can’t even go get the test. As soon as Fifi sees it, the whole LC will know in the matter of minutes.”
“You don’t need to go to Fifi’s. I have plenty of those in the bathroom.”
“Why?” I wipe my nose, looking at her warily.
“I’m not that old, Julie.” She winks and the second it clicks in my head, I groan.
“Oh God, good for you and Dad, seriously. But please, do not go into details right now. There’s nothing else for me to throw up.”
Mom giggles. “Fine. One shock at a time for you.”
“Thank you.” I sigh.
“Go.”
“You know, maybe I should have another cup of tea?”
“Julie bean.”
“Also, I’m hungry. Crackers! Do you have those? They seem like a safe option right now.”
“Honey,” Mom says gently but stern. “There’s no point in delaying it. The tests are in the same bathroom you were in earlier. Go.”
She’s right. Nothing will magically change if I wait another minute or a hundred. And I need to know. I need to be sure before I really freak out.
It’s not the prospect of the baby that scares me. I’ve always dreamed of being a mother. It’s just not now. Not when we are taking it one day at a time. Not when Griffin is not there yet.
I’ve been ready since I decided he’s my husband at the age of nine. But him?
This is new for him. Fresh. All of it is.
Breathe in and out, Julie. Everything happens for a reason, okay? Just keep reminding yourself of that. The path has been laid for us, all we have to do is walk it.
