Page 113 of Barefoot Dreams
I thought Julie would be upset when I broke Owen’s nose. Not because she cares for him—I checked, she doesn’t like him—but because Birdy is the sweetest girl alive. I swear, she’s too good for this world.
I’ve never even seen her cry or be upset over something and if anyone should be angry, that’s her, but she’s not. Never is. She just takes all the names and insults everyone throws at her and waves them off, smiling.
I asked her once why she didn’t fight back, and she told me she was. She was fighting with kindness.
Poor Julie, she had no idea those idiots didn’t understand her methods.
Thankfully, mine worked much better.
I wasn’t even mad when Mom lit up all her candles and sat me in the living room to decompress. It was worth it. And Julie wasn’t mad at me.
Nope, when Owen fled like a little rat he is, clutching his nose, she jumped up, smiling and something funny happened in the bottom of my stomach. A flipping sensation. You know, like the ones you get when the roller coaster falls down.
What the heck was it?
I have no idea why I’m still asking you questions. I’ll have to see if Cal and Luke if they felt that before, if it was normal.
G.O.
Griffin, my poor, confused Griffin. He tried to fit in but the mold he was using didn’t fit his shape.
I remember those days. I remember them so vividly. He did get into fights almost daily. He was always angry…but not around me. I used to dream it was because we were special. BecauseIwas special.
Turns out…I was.
All of the old, crusty memories I managed to distort are coming back to me in a new light. The sighs he’d let out when Cal would tell me I couldn’t play with them. Those weren’t from exasperation as I thought.
Griffin was sad. He was sad I wasn’t coming with them.
Any time the guys would sleep over our house, Griffin was the first to wake up and run to the kitchen for breakfast before the other two were awake. He told them it was to make sure he beat them. But…butIalways woke up early. I always had breakfast before Cal managed to wake up.
And Griffin was there, talking to me. Smiling. Oh, sweet daisies, he was smiling.
He was always there, and despite me being madly in love with him, I didn’t catch onto any of this.
Not Dear Diary,
Update! According to Luke and Cal, your stomach does that weird fluttery thing when you kiss someone.
I got the answer, but it wasn’t helpful in the slightest because I didn’t kiss Julie!
Ha, I wish!
But I didn’t and then I had to lie to the guys and tell them I kissed Kimmy because they wouldn’t leave me alone. They believed me right away too because Kimmy’s been passing me notes in class since the start of the year, asking if I wanted to be her boyfriend.
Cal and Luke started whistling and doing all that dumb shit when I lied. They were so excited for me, it felt good! It felt like I did something right for once, even if it was a lie.
Maybe I’ll have to keep it up? Pretend I am dating Kimmy?
She’s pretty. But I don’t get the funny stomach feeling from her and I’m starting to think you’re supposed to. Like, when I like someone, I should feel those flip-flopping things. So, no, I don’t want to kiss Kimmy or be her boyfriend.
But once again, nothing feels normal.
G.O.
Oh God, the conversation I overheard… The one that broke something inside me when I heard my Griffin had kissed someone else.
It was a lie.
