Page 12 of Barefoot Dreams
These are innocent questions, an innocent conversation…yet it feels wrong. Plastic. A word I’d never associate with Julie.
“Oh, great! Enjoying life, running my shop.” She twirls her little finger around us and if I wasn’t so stunned, I’d say something. Alas, she continues. “I planted new varieties of tomatoes earlier this month, so I can’t wait to see how those turn out. I’m also on Peace Car duty later this week so that will be fun.”
“Peace Car duty,” I muse. Somehow that is the one piece that makes the most sense to me. Well, it all does, if I’m being honest. Everything she just mentioned sounds like Birdy. But Peace Car duty is a new addition from what I’m used to. I can’t help the smile on my face because if there’s anything more Julie-like, it’s those silly therapy cars. “I should’ve known better that you’d never move out of Loverly Cave.”
“Move away?” she asks, affronted. “Why would I ever?”
“I thought you might’ve when I didn’t see you at the square for the workout, but that was stupid of me.”
“You went to the workout?” She stares at me, her plush, strawberry lips parted.
Okay, yes, I agree. It must be the most out of character thing for me to do, so I understand her palpable shock.
“Yes…well…no. Kind of? I was there but I wasn’t there.” Am I rambling? Since when do I ramble?
“Like Casper?” Julie twists her head to a side.
I open and close my mouth like a fish. Her answer catches me off-guard but not in a bad way. In fact, it makes me giddy.
Jesus…giddy. I used the wordgiddy. But I am, because that is once again such a Julie thing to say, and it brings comfort to my soul. A sense of home and warmth.
“Casper?” I arch my eyebrows, amused at her cute, lost expression.
“You know, the ghost?” She flails her hands around as if he’s flying over here.
“Nope, it was more along the lines of a cheap spy movie. I wanted to see everyone without them seeing me.”
“Ah.” She nods in understanding. “Afraid they’d descend on you like a pack of hungry wolves?” One side of her mouth quirks up, and isn’t that just the cutest thing ever?
“Yep, and I’m not even ashamed of admitting that.”
“I don’t blame you.” She shakes her head. “But you know, you won’t be able to hide from them forever. You are the first of the three lost sons to return home.”
A simple thought of everyone asking me questions, digging through my messed-up life has a cold shiver break over my back. Julie must sense something is off, because suddenly she’s just a breath away, her face in a mask of genuine concern, her small hand on my forearm.
My eyes fall to the place where she was touching me, and for reasons unknown to me, I open my mouth. “I know. I’m just not ready for them to see that not much has changed since I was eighteen. I’m still the same old screw-up I was back then.” I feelheat covering my cheeks and try to glance away, but she doesn’t let me.
Julie’s face grows serious but soft. “You were never a screw up, Griff. Never,” she says with such conviction as if she really never believed it.
That something that wasn’t supposed to crack in my chest, let out a few more painful groans. Like an old chest that was left alone and forgotten for many years. Its hinges rusty, and just standing in her presence was oiling them or maybe simply cracking wide open.
The sad expression vanishes from her face, replaced by an understanding smile. “But it’s okay, take all the time you need, and if anyone asks me if that was really you here today, I’ll them it was your clone. And they’ll totally believe it too.” She’s nodding her head like she’s the one who’d believe it.
A small laugh bubbles out of me. “I will highly appreciate that.”
Suddenly, it weighs on me. All the inquiring eyes and listening ears. But none more than the groaning cracks inside my chest.
“Well, I won’t keep you—” I start but before I have a chance to finish the sentence, a huge mountain of a man barges in like a storm, and Julie is swept off her feet right in front of my eyes.
“Julie Bean!” the guy shouts, and I realize it’s the Viking dude. The one I saw leading the workout earlier. “I missed you this morning.” He hugs her tightly and she giggles into his neck.
Forget the cracks. The lid I kept under lock and key fucking bursts open, releasing every memory, every thought, dream, fear, and hope out in the open.
The air around me no longer smells like cherries but is full of bitter reality.
She isn’t my little J anymore.
She never was.
