Page 13 of Barefoot Dreams
Sixteen years hasn’t change the fact that I’m not who she needed.
Fuck. I need to get out of here, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have stayed in town this long. Coming back was stupid… But, no matter how much I pretend and lie to myself, the truth hasn’t changed. I came back for her. But it’s too late.
It’s always fucking too late or too soon or too forbidden when it comes to Julie Birdy Lovinski.
Without a second glance, I turn around and flee, because I’m afraid of the damage I might’ve done if I had looked. I might not be as huge as the Viking dude, but I knew plenty of ways to kill someone and each one seems all too sweet right at this moment.
3
Julie
“Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest.” – P.C. Cast
“Jacob! Let me down you big duckling.” I smack his massive chest playfully. “Griff—” I’m about to introduce Jacob to Griffin but…he’s nowhere to be seen. “Where is he?” I furrow my eyebrows that my best friend is all too quick to smooth out.
“The only kind of wrinkles we need are the ones from smiling, not being upset,” he tells me and then looks around for what got me frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“This is strange. I was about to introduce you to my brother’s best friend. But one second, he’s here and the next he’s gone. Where did he go without saying a word?”
“Huh, was that the guy who stood here wearing a gray hoodie with a look on his face that said he wanted you in his bed?”
I gape at Jacob.
“Sweet rosemary, Jacob! Hewas notlooking at me like that! We grew up together—well, sort of. Then he left after high school, along with Cal and Luke and hasn’t been back to LC since.”
Not to mention Griffin never looked at me like that. As his best friend’s little, weird sister? Sure, yes. A woman he could see in his bed? No.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I heard his voice, because there was no mistaking it, it was Griffin’s voice even though it sounded deeper and with a pinch of gravel to it, but it was him.
At first, I was confident I must be hallucinating, blaming the new batch of the mushroom coffee we got yesterday, but there was no mistaking him, even if he’s a whole lot different now. Broader, tougher, with thick stubble bordering on short beard over his face. The sleeves of his hoodie were drawn up, showcasing the forearms that proved he lived a lot to have them look like that. They were the forearms of my dreams with some major arm-porn vibes.
What? I might be impartial to him now, but I’m not blind.
He’s all man now, not the boy I remember—loved—from long ago. And he’s back.
Here. In Loverly Cave.
“You know what? You’re right! It was more along the lines of: I’m a desert, you’re my water. I’m a lost puppy, you’re my new owner. I’m just a lowly peasant, you’re my wild and untamed queen.”
“Okaaay, buddy.” I pat his tattooed arm, breaking his speech. “Time to rein it in. You are getting a little carried away.” I whisper the last part slightly patronizing, but Jacob only grins in response.
Jacob isn’t a Loverly Cave native but a lucky stray who found us all on his own a few years back as a part of his tour across America but ended up never leaving. Partly because we wouldn’t let him.
I was picking the wildflowers over at the northern hill when Jacob came strutting out from near where the curvy road that leads into our town. He had a huge backpack on his shoulders and that signature smile on his face. His shorts were too short, and his shirt was covered in rubber ducks, but he looked like he didn’t care one bit what others might’ve thought of him or how bizarre or different he might be. And right then and there I knew I’d met my person.
Notthatkind of person though, and to the mighty dismay of many locals, he and I never dated or had the desire to start now. Jacob’s one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen, he smiles all the time, and his heart is made of pure gold, but he’s not the one for me and I’m not the one for him.
We figured it out that first time we met. But I love him like a brother and a best friend I’d never had. Jacob is the one I call if I need to let out some negative energy without hurting the universe.
But there is one thing my best friend doesn’t know about—and that’s my early obsession with Griffin Owling. So he isn’t aware his words don’t have the desired effect because they can’t be further from the truth. He doesn’t know that, despite me growing out of that silly crush, seeing Griffin just now has threatened my lies to shatter and my naïve heart to come out of hibernation.
“Well, I guess I’ll introduce you some other time.” I shrug, but Griff’s sudden disappearance is boggling me a bit.
No, boggling is the wrong word. Worried. That’s more appropriate. Because despite being all man and big and imposing, something was missing. There was no spark in his brown eyes. The gold speckles were swallowed by the darkness around them.
And what he said…about not wanting people to see that he’s a screw up…
Don’t go there, Julie.
