Page 15 of Barefoot Dreams
I bring the rim of the cup to my lips and took a sip.Mm-hmm, this one is definitely a success, I think, staring out the window as a gentle ocean breeze washes over my face. It has a nice mint undertone I need to add to my menu.
Sip of Love is a dream come true, and ever since we opened a couple years ago, it’s consumed my life. I wake up and go to sleep thinking of it, of how to decorate, where to source my ingredients. How to make it the most eco-friendly. Which flowers I’d have on the tables every day. It’s anything and everything from the tiniest of details and I love each one of them.
But that also means I don’t have much time left for those dreams of a family with a house on a big piece of land.
I sigh. Let’s be honest, even if I did have time…those dreams still don’t matter.
It’s not that I’ve never dated or liked someone else before. I have. I had a couple of boyfriends—and I did like them. I enjoyed my time with them. It was just…it was just what it wasn’t.
It wasn’thim. It never felt like it did with Griffin even if it was all in dreams. But how good could my relationships be if they can’t even live up to my childhood crush.
Some around town call me picky, some think I’m plain weird—but that’s nothing new there—however, I point blank refused to date anyone for the sake of dating. I despise the idea of marriage simply because your age number is growing and you need to settle down.
No, I’ve fought against it, time and time again and promised I’d never settle. I want magic. I want a connection like myparents have, like Nina and Sam Colson have. Like Willa—our local bar owner—and her late husband had.
I want to be madly in love with my one and only. I want to float on a cloud when I’m around him. Feel his heartbeat even when we’re miles and miles away. To know when he’s hurt or bleeding or laughing so hard his stomach cramps. I want to feel the fire igniting inside me with just one look. Needing those butterflies to stir and flop around even when we’d be old and wrinkly.
That was until I turned thirty—two years ago—and felt all those missing pieces around me. I want to love and be loved. Hence why I’m sort of dating now.
And it’s going great. Really, it is. Despite my initial reluctance to give him a try, he’s been nothing but a true gentleman to me and I’ve been enjoying myself. But…
Oh no.No, no, no. There’s no but, Julie. There’s no heavenly“but”here.
Sweet rosemary…here I go again…But he isn’t Griffin. And now that I’ve taken one look at my childhood crush, my unrequited love, and burned dreams, those words flare with renewed vengeance.
There’s this tingling sensation waking up inside my stomach that I don’t very much like, and I know I should be willing it back into the memory box, but that same sensation I’m trying to get rid of is making my heart remember every second of our encounter.
I wanted to keep talking to him, to get to know this new Griffin. I have a million questions about his life and service but just like before, I didn’t have such privilege.
I thought it was all behind me. I thought I left it back there in Fifi’s shop when I was fifteen. But one look at that charming smile where only one side of his mouth quirks up and a dimple pops up has me questioning all the sage and herbs I’ve burned for years in hopes to cleanse. That smile hasn’t changed one bit.
Neither has his scent.
When I climbed him like a wild monkey—totally involuntarily, might I add—I have no idea how that happened, I inhaled a whole lungful of him and if he wasn’t holding me, my knees would’ve buckled.
It was him.
All him.
Despite many years apart, I know this scent better than my own and it hasn’t change a bit. Woodsy. That’s how Griff has always smelled.
That’s what I smelled any time a wayward thought of him crossed my mind.
They are few and far between these days, but they still sneak up on me when I least expect it. But along with the good they also bring back the memories of that day.
I let it go a long time ago, but I still remember how much it hurt.
Sweet rosemary, did it ever. When I overheard him talking to Kimmy in Fifi’s store that day, but I’ve let it all go. I’ve lethimgo and have never asked another question again.
He was never the one for me and I told myself it was okay. He taught me a valuable lesson and, in a way, helped me turn into the person I am today.
A bit of my smiles were stolen that day, replaced by a rainy cloud, but with time I’ve learned to use the rain for my advantage. It could water the seeds and from seeds came a new life, a new me. One who isn’t as naïve as she once had been, but someone who still hasn’t lost faith in this beautiful world. Someone who still believes the love of her life is out there.
And maybe he’s the one I’m going to see a car show with tonight.
Now, wouldn’t that be quite a turn of event? I shake my head, amused by my current situation.
Life is certainly working itself out like Mom promised. Mine has just seemed to walk parallel to Griffin’s and I’ve accepted that fact many years ago.
