Page 17 of The Therapist
‘Perhaps you can tell me how you view your marriage,’ I suggest.
‘Well, it’s…I mean it’s not the greatest right now… We’re not happy. I know that neither of us is happy. But we have young kids and I think…I want to make everyone happy and I work hard and I… Work is really a mess right now so I’m really stressed and…’ He stops speaking.
‘It’s okay,’ I tell him, leaning forward. ‘Go on.’ I have a feeling that we are getting somewhere and I risk a quick look at Sandy to see that she is also sitting forward.
There is something about him, something simmering underneath the surface. It’s so strong I can almost feel it in the air. Barely concealed rage maybe? Or is it something else?
‘We argue a lot,’ he says, ‘about stupid stuff mostly.’ He doesn’t look at his wife.
‘And what happens when you argue, Mike?’ I ask.
‘Things get heated,’ he says.
‘Right.’ I sit back. I doubted Sandy’s decision to bring him here but she obviously knows her husband well. It seems possible that he may even admit to the abuse and that’s what she wants. She needs him to admit to it. And if he does, she wants to move forward as a couple. At least that’s what I believe Sandy wants. I look at her, gauging her reaction to his statement. Her eyes are wide, her shoulders tensed. Is she afraid, right here, right now? Her mouth twitches slightly and I reassess. Is she happy? Triumphant at his confession that things get heated?
‘I know that Sandy gets frustrated. I get that it’s hard with two young kids and…’
‘Go on, Mike,’ says Sandy, encouraging him. ‘Tell Lana what happens when things get heated.’
He turns to look at his wife, who nods. ‘There’s nothing more to tell.’ Mike scratches at his jaw. He looks around the room again, conveying his disinterest in continuing the conversation. I wait a minute to see if he will say anything else but he doesn’t.
I can see that we’ve hit a brick wall. Sandy sits back against the sofa and looks at the painting and I watch her blink quickly, keeping away tears. I can see her hopes of some kind of confession or acknowledgement of his behaviour dissipate.
I wonder why he has come and what he hopes to achieve out of this appointment, if anything at all. From my point of view, Iwant to know what is really going on, if I have any right to doubt Sandy.
The silence in the room grows. I try again.
‘I want you to know, Mike, that this is a safe place,’ I tell him. ‘I can help but, as with all problems, you can’t get help unless you acknowledge what’s really happening.’
‘I’ve told Lana everything,’ says Sandy. ‘I told her that I still love you and I want to be able to work it out with you. I want to try and make our marriage better. I think we can both be better, for us and for the kids.’
‘You’ve told her everything?’ asks Mike, and I watch his fists clench. I am glad that Ben is here today and that he’s just next door with one of his own patients. I wouldn’t know what to do if this got out of hand. I have no doubt that this man could hurt both Sandy and me without even breaking a sweat. But would he? Is he capable of it – not physically because he obviously is, but mentally? Is this a possibly violent, abusive man sitting in front of me or a confused husband?
‘Everything,’ Sandy confirms.
‘And can you help her?’ Mike asks. ‘I mean, can you help her get her anger under control?’
‘Her anger?’ I ask, confused.
‘I’m not the one who needs to control my anger, Mike,’ says Sandy as she shreds a tissue in her hands. ‘You know what happens when we argue, how you go from zero to a hundred in a minute and then you…’
‘Then I what?’ says Mike as he sits forward, planting his legs wide apart.
‘You know what,’ says Sandy and then she gestures towards her eye.
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he asks, his voice rising, and I can feel his frustration with his wife.
‘My black eye,’ says Sandy, her voice filled with defiance. ‘I told her about my black eye; well, I mean she saw that, didn’t you, Lana?’ She sits back and I can see that her body is trembling as though it has taken a great deal to say these things out loud. I doubted that black eye but was I right to? Maybe the make-up on the tissue was just her trying to cover the black eye?
If it was real, was that the first time? Is it ongoing? Do I need to get the police involved here?
Mike looks bewildered. ‘You never had a black eye – what the hell are you talking about?’
‘Lana saw it, Mike, she saw it.’
It becomes clear to me now that Sandy has been waiting to confront her husband because she needed someone else to hear this information when she did it, knowing that he would not attack her in front of someone else because abusers rarely do, especially ones who deny the abuse. I look at Mike, whose whole body is tense, and I wonder how quickly Ben could get in here if things went awry.
But am I only seeing what Sandy wants me to see? My thoughts are giving me whiplash.
