Page 19 of The Therapist
‘It’s still not an excuse, Sandy. He can get help for his past trauma. He can heal and be better but you can’tmakehim do that. Your priority is yourself and your children.’
‘The kids love him. I can’t take them away from their dad. I shouldn’t have ambushed him in the session. I should have told him what we were going to discuss. I don’t blame him for theway he feels.’ She looks directly at me, a desperate appeal on her face.
I take some time to think through my reply. If her husband is hurting her, she needs to get away from him. Even if she is the violent one as he has suggested, she still needs to get away from him. He is so much bigger and stronger than she is and I don’t want to think about what could happen if an argument between the two of them got out of control. ‘Sandy, when a person is in a domestic abuse situation, they need to find a way to leave to keep themselves safe. Your children need to be safe. There are, as I’ve told you, so many resources, so many people who can help. I can go with you to the police right now to report him. You will be supported all the way.’
I’ve never laid it out as clearly for her before. And part of me is hoping that she agrees to go to the police so that I can be certain that she is the one telling the truth. She wouldn’t take the chance of getting them involved if she was lying. At least, I don’t think she would.
‘No…no. And you should know, Lana’ – she looks at me with defiance in her eyes – ‘that if you go to the police, I’ll deny anything is happening. They can’t do anything unless I agree to press charges and I won’t. Don’t think I haven’t looked into this, because I have.’
‘I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, Sandy.’ I can almost feel her pulling my strings to get me to respond the way she wants me to, but I don’t know how to stop it happening.
‘I’ll talk to him and it will be fine.’ She sits back against the sofa and then she giggles. ‘But if I don’t turn up next week, you can assume he’s killed me.’ Her giggle turns into a full-throated laugh.
I stare at her, wondering why she would say such things and what kind of a reaction she is expecting from me. It’s sucha contrast to only a moment ago that I feel like my head is spinning.
‘Oh my God, Lana, I’m joking obviously. I know how to handle him.’
‘It doesn’t seem like it,’ I say quietly, shifting in my chair.
My phone buzzes to indicate the end of the session and I have to admit that I’m relieved. I’m exhausted.
‘Okay then,’ she says as she stands up. ‘I’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about me at all.’
I have another client in the waiting room and there’s nothing more I can do now. ‘Call me anytime,’ I say, standing and going to my desk to grab a piece of paper that I write my mobile number onto. Not something I have ever had to do before, but I’m very concerned.
‘Okay,’ she says, ‘I’ll see you next week, Lana.’
She opens the office door and closes it behind her with a soft click.
I drop onto the sofa and then turn and lie down, stretching my legs out and resting my head on a plump blue pillow. I need a minute or two. None of my patients ever do this but the sofa is big enough in case they ever want to. A ping on my phone alerts me to a text message and I pull it out of my pocket.
I’m sorry I got upset with you. I know you’re only trying to help. I’ll be fine. Mike and I are fine. He’s a good man.
I stare at the text. It doesn’t sound like Sandy at all. It sounds like something you say when you’re being told what to say. The see-saw of my belief between Mike and Sandy tips wildly back and forth.
I’m really not sure what I should do here, and if Ben didn’t have such a complicated relationship with Sandy, I would go and ask him.
Instead, I email SueEllen.
Free for a catch up?
Sunning myself on a glorious beach in Greece right now. Back in two weeks. I’ll tell Pete to schedule it in.
Thanks, enjoy. Lucky you xx
I can handle the situation for the next couple of weeks and then SueEllen will have some input.
Nothing is going to happen in two weeks.
EIGHT
Sandy
In the middle of the night, I open my eyes and he’s standing next to the bed, staring down at me.
‘What do you want?’ I ask, keeping my voice low so he doesn’t think he is scaring me. I know he wants me to feel scared. And under my warm duvet, my body is tense, real fear freezing my muscles. He wins.
‘What the hell are you trying to…to do? What was that…about?’ His words are slurred, his body swaying slightly.
