Page 36 of The Therapist
‘You think?’
Ben looks at Kirsty and she gives him a quick smile. They’ve obviously been discussing this for a while. I am reminded of how much time they spend talking to each other. They seem closer every day. Does Kirsty know why Ben needs to take time off? I think it’s possible that she does, from the way they are interacting.
Does that mean they are having a relationship outside of work? It would be problematic, especially because of the difference in ages and the fact that Ben is essentially Kirsty’s boss. But I can’t deal with that now. And anyway, I could be imagining things.
‘Come into my office,’ he says and I follow him, standing next to his desk as he closes the door softly behind us.
‘Look, this is probably me being over the top but I’m worried about you. You live alone and I’ll be gone for a couple of days…’
‘I’ll be fine, Ben; the police have been told. Mike is not going to come here. I spoke to Detective Franks at Wiltshire police station.’
‘Lana…’ Ben hesitates. ‘Did Sandy tell you that she found a life insurance policy Mike took out on her?’
‘Ben, are you still talking to her? She only just told me that a couple of weeks ago, or at least she told me that she only just found that. So how do you know?’
Ben holds up his hands. ‘Now wait a minute,’ he says and he goes behind his desk to grab his phone. ‘She texted me, more than a week ago, to tell me. I knew immediately that she was trying to draw me back into treating her and I told her that she needs to discuss this with you or the police since I am no longer her therapist.’
He opens his phone and shows me a text conversation with Sandy that reads exactly the way he has said it would.
‘Sorry…sorry…this situation feels out of control,’ I say.
‘Did you tell the police about the life insurance policy?’ he asks.
‘I did, but the detective didn’t seem to think that meant much.’
‘Well…I mean maybe but it’s good that you told him. Look, I have to get going but I wanted you to have this.’ He bends down and opens his bottom desk drawer, and when he stands up, I take two steps backwards. He is holding a small handgun.
‘Are you insane?’ I am unable to keep from sounding shrill. I have never seen a real gun in my life. ‘Where on earth did you get such a thing?’
‘I’m a member of a gun club. I had to jump through a million hoops to get it and it’s just for target shooting but it is a real gun. It’s a sport I’m involved in, that’s all. It helps me destress.’
‘You shouldn’t have it here. It shouldn’t be anywhere near people. Aren’t you supposed to keep it locked up?’
‘Relax, Lana. It’s a precaution.’ He comes around the desk to stand next to me and then he puts a hand on my shoulder. ‘I’m worried about you,’ he says, ‘you mean a lot to me. It’s just to scare Mike if he comes here. He won’t do anything if he sees it. I’m not asking you to use it, only wave it around as some sort of deterrent.’
‘I’m not really alone, Ben, Kirsty is here.’ I take another step backwards, not wanting to be anywhere near the small black handgun. It looks like a toy but I know it’s not, and to me it seems to have a larger presence in this office than its size should dictate. I can feel it in the air.
‘Yes’ – Ben waves the gun around casually, irritating me – ‘but this is a big guy, an angry guy. And what about at home? You have Iggy to think about.’
‘He’s not going to come to my home, Ben.’ But suddenly, now that the words are out there, that seems like something that could happen. I turned up at his house after all. I have neverbeen worried about a patient turning up at my house. But it’s happened to Ben. It could happen to me.
‘You don’t know that for sure…and…you don’t know everything about him.’ He looks away as he says this.
The conversation is beginning to drive me crazy and I wish again that I had never gotten involved with this woman. ‘Are you saying you know something I don’t know, Ben? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Look, I never wanted to tell you this – I mean Sandy told me when I was treating her and it should have stayed between us if she didn’t mention it to you, which I assume she hasn’t – but…’
‘But?’
‘The guy has a record. Mike has a record. I mean not officially anymore because it was for something he did when he was sixteen so it’s considered done with because he hasn’t been arrested for anything else ever but he did hurt someone, pretty badly.’
‘Oh God.’ I cover my mouth, my stomach churning. ‘What did he do?’
‘I don’t have all the details but what does it matter? That’s why I’m giving this to you. It’s filled with blanks so worst-case scenario it will make a loud noise. It’s just to show him if he turns up here or at your house.’ He holds the gun towards me but I still can’t take it.
‘This is ridiculous, Ben. Even if he…did something in his past, I still can’t have a gun.’ My mind is whirling with what he has told me. How dangerous is Sandy’s husband? What is on his record? What did he do?
‘Look,’ says Ben, his eyes on the gun, ‘you’ve never had a negative experience like I had back home in the UK and I hope you never do, but I hate the idea that he could come to your house and scare you or…’
