Page 40 of The Therapist
‘Only a day, but I haven’t heard from her so I was…worried.’
Maureen sighs. ‘She used to run away when she was a teenager. This was before she had a mobile phone. James and I used to be frantic. I think she liked…I think she enjoyed knowing we were fretting.’
‘Oh,’ says Mike, unsure how to respond to this. It explains a lot.
‘She once disappeared for three days. We were completely mad with worry. The police were called and there was a story on the news and then she just turned up and got angry with us for involving anyone.’
‘Oh, I didn’t know about that.’ Sandy has never told him this. He knows that, like his, her childhood was difficult and he knows that he contemplated running away from home many times as he grew up. But he would never have gone back and he would have understood if his worried mother had called the police. What if she has done exactly the same thing now? Maybe she gets some kind of kick out of it, out of knowing that people are concerned about her and searching for her?
Maureen pauses then starts speaking quite slowly, as if she is thinking about what to say or how to phrase it. ‘I’m sure there’s…lots…you don’t know about Sandy.’ Another pause. ‘I mean I love my daughter but she has always had a very different way of looking at the world. Her father and I were probably too gentle with her.’
Mike thinks about Sandy’s story of being taught to swim, her father throwing her in the water. That didn’t sound gentle. Was that a lie? It could have been a lie. How much of what his wife has told him about her past is true? He has always found the juxtaposition between what Sandy told him about her parents and the way they behave towards her now somewhat confusing. When they come over, they seem fearful of upsetting her in anyway, almost afraid to ask for so much as a cup of tea. Has she just made a lot of stuff up? He wouldn’t put it past her. She told her therapist he was a violent abuser. Lying doesn’t bother her at all.
‘Well, if she does turn up there…could you let me know?’
‘Absolutely, but she won’t. When she left to work in Sydney, she told me she would never return to our house to live. And we were so happy when she met you and got pregnant with Felix. You really helped her settle down.’
‘Right,’ says Mike, although he doubts that’s the truth. He didn’t help her settle down. He ‘trapped’ her as she likes to tell him.
‘We didn’t think she would find someone. She was so…difficult when she was a teenager’ – her voice softens – ‘almost cruel really.’ Mike can hear that Maureen has forgotten that she’s speaking to him. He clears his throat.
‘Listen to me going on about something silly,’ says Maureen, who has obviously realised what she said. ‘All teenagers are difficult. I’m sure Lila and Felix will challenge you as well. I’m sure Sandy is?—’
‘I know, I know,’ interrupts Mike. ‘I just wanted to check, but thanks, Maureen.’ He’s eager to be done with this conversation now. There’s no way Sandy would have gone to her mother’s home and only a minute’s more thought would have made him realise this. But he’s not really letting the rational part of his brain lead the way at the moment. Sandy’s father is struggling with his health and being at home would have meant that Sandy was expected to help, something she deeply resented whenever her parents were around.
‘You know, Mike, we’ve always thought you were a good man, James and I,’ says Maureen.
‘Oh thanks…thanks.’ He has no idea what else to say.
‘And I know that you and Sandy have a bit of a…strained relationship and I wouldn’t say this to her but I feel like I could say it to you.’
‘Right.’ He sighs, regretting calling Maureen with his whole being.
‘You need to protect those children, both of you. Whatever goes on between the two of you, you shouldn’t let the children get hurt.’
And then she hangs up, leaving Mike open-mouthed. What the hell was that about? Maybe Sandyisthere and she’s saying things about him?
He can’t think about this.
Right now, he needs to get the therapist to tell the police there’s nothing to worry about. He pulls back into the traffic. Sandy will turn up, full of smug smiles and explanations about needing a rest. He’s more convinced of this now.
As he parks near the therapist’s office, he can feel anxiety building inside him. The desire to turn around and go home is overwhelming. His phone is buzzing with texts and calls from work. Paul wants to know where he is. But he needs to speak to Lana above all.
If he could speak to her calmly without the kids interrupting, he can convince her of the truth about Sandy. Maybe they can go to the police together and then the detective will back off. Even if he can’t convince her of anything, he can find out exactly what Lana told the police so he knows how to counter everything she said when he speaks to them.
He will be reasonable and he will be logical and he will not let his temper get the better of him. He will talk, just talk. That’s all he needs to do. But will she even speak to him?
Sitting in his car, he cracks his knuckles as he wonders about exactly how he will get to Lana. He can’t force his way into her office. And the moment he turns up, she will probably call thepolice, and if Ben, Sandy’s old therapist, is there too, Mike will be shown the door very quickly.
Holding out very little hope, he calls the practice.
‘Calm Minds Clinic, this is Kirsty.’
‘Yeah, um, hi…um, my name is Don…Don Burns and I need to see a therapist. I mean I need to see someone as soon as I can…I…’
‘Okay, Mr Burns, I can send you one of our patient intake forms and once you’ve filled that out, I can see when Lana or Ben has their next available appointment. Do you have a preference for which of our psychologists you would like to see?’
‘Um, the woman but…you don’t understand, I need to see someone now, like today.’
