Page 36 of Fall of Us
“Why don’t you lie down and rest for a bit after you eat?”
My stomach growled as I looked at the food that was no longer steaming on the nightstand. I reluctantly picked up a piece of bacon and bit into it. The saltiness burst over my tongue and Andrew watched as I slowly chewed my bite and swallowed. It was pathetic that I had reached a point where he needed to babysit me like a child while he ate, but if he hadn’t been here, I would’ve crawled back under the covers without touching it at all.
Once half the food was gone, Andrew leaned in and kissed the top of my head. Warm tingles zipped through me at the contact. I’d done something right and made him happy, but it still felt wrong to watch his retreating back leave my room.
My eyes were heavy, despite the coffee. The hangover was still sitting heavy, and Andrew was right that a little more rest would do me some good.
Iwoke to the smell of eucalyptus, lavender, peppermint, and lemon filling the air. A grin spread across my face that Andrew had paid attention to all those times that I’d tried to teach him something about my oils. The combination was perfect for curing a hangover and when I sat up in bed again, I already felt a lot better.
There was a small diffuser sitting in the corner of my room puffing a steady stream of steam. I took another deep breath before I climbed out of bed and stretched. The apartment was quiet, but that didn’t mean that Andrew wasn’t poking around somewhere.
After going to the bathroom, I wandered into the living room to find him dozing on the couch. There was a book draped across his bare chest and I smiled, realizing it was the cute romance novel he’d bought for me. I carefully lifted it, closing it before setting it on the table. He didn’t stir, but I didn’t want to disturb him. I couldn’t imagine what type of stress he’d been in with me last night. How could I have been so inconsiderate?
The kitchen was clean, showing no signs of the breakfast he’d made for me earlier. It was almost noon, so I dug through the fridge to find us something to eat. There was a package of organic cheese and a loaf of bread that I knew was about to go bad,so I grabbed the butter and started making us a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches.
“What are you doing?”
Andrew’s voice above the sizzle in the pan made me jump. He was sitting up and looking over the back of the couch, his dark hair a ruffled mess. He was so damn gorgeous that I wanted to turn off the stove and jump him. Instead, I cleared my throat, fighting the urge to cover myself again. I hadn’t bothered to get dressed after my nap. “Taking care of you. You made me breakfast, so I’m making lunch.”
The smile that spread across his face was so damn sweet. I didn’t deserve someone like him. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t, but I wanted to.”
Chapter 23
Andrew
Brandon seemed like he was on edge. Like he didn’t trust himself not to cling too hard like he had the other night.
We sat on the couch in my apartment, watching a movie. Even as the credits rolled, Brandon was still silent. It was so weird. Usually, he talked throughout the movie, pointing out his observations and explaining how he would’ve done a scene differently. It didn’t matter if we’d seen the movie a million times.
Something was so off with him. Ever since we started exploring this thing between us, he hadn’t been himself at all. The thought niggled that perhaps ithadbeen a mistake to change the dynamic of our relationship.
It had been three days since he got drunk. We never discussed it again, and nothing progressed, either. It’s like driving through flat plains. No hills, mountains, or dips in the road. Just a flat surface. We should be moving forward by now. Brandon had talked about wanting to take care of me, and while exciting, I didn’t know what that meant for us exactly. Just him being in my life was enough. Brandon was my best friend. My sole purpose. My everything. Now, I was starting to question things.
When he stood and quietly walked to the bed, I knew something was up. This wasn’t like him at all. He wrapped his arms around himself as he sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the front door as though he was ready to make a run for it at any second.
“What’s wrong?”
Brandon licked his lips before he looked at me. His dark eyes were so full of emotion, swimming with so much concern and uncertainty. “Do you want this?”
It was hard not to laugh at the question. I didn’t want him to think I was laughing at him, but I had made it clear I wanted him. Had wanted him. Did I still want him?
“What do you mean?”
He pinched his eyes closed as his arms tightened around himself. “It’s been three days. We’ve been in the clear for three days...” He took another deep breath before those expressive eyes popped back open, brimming with tears. “And it’s like you don’t want to touch me now.”
I was across the room with my arms around him in less than a heartbeat. He was trembling in my embrace, but it had never been my intention to make him feel that way. We’d jumped into things so hot and heavy when we were supposed to take it slow. Maybe that was what led to some of his freak out the other night. It was good to slow things down, but maybe I should have talked to him about that first instead of just making the decision for us.
“Brandon, that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”
It was his turn to laugh now, but he didn’t push me away. Instead, he wound himself around me, legs around my waist and arms around my neck. His head rested on my shoulder as hot tears soaked into my shirt. “Then why haven’t we done anything?”
I trailed my hands up and down his back, doing my best to soothe him. His whole body continued to shake and quiver with the force of his sobs. “You didn’t ask? We didn’t try? I don’t have a solid answer for you there. But right now doesn’t seem like the best time, either. I want it to be romantic as shit, especially for our first time. I want to be with you and take care of you. You and your body deserve to be worshiped, not some fast fumbling. We have time. Nothing but time.”
Brandon’s sniffles slowed, but he didn’t relax his hold on me. He continued to keep his face buried in my shoulder, so when he spoke, his words were muffled.
“I appreciate you. So much. I feel like such an idiot.”
