Page 53 of House of Serpents and Slaves

"Keep dreaming, girl," Cato scoffed, pushing past me and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I leaned against the wall, my legs suddenly feeling weak. Hot tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I angrily swiped them away. I wanted nothing more than to prove Cato wrong, to show everyone that I was capable of being a warrior. But every defeat, every humiliating failure, only seemed to confirm their doubts.

"Damn it all," I muttered under my breath, slamming my fist into the rough stone wall. Pain shot through my hand, but it did little to alleviate the storm of emotions raging within me. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of anger and self-pity, one that threatened to consume me.

"Get a hold of yourself, Livia," I whispered to myself, trying to pull my thoughts together. "You can't let them win."

I took a deep breath, forcing down the bitter taste of defeat. Despite everything, despite the naysayers and my own doubts, I would keep pushing forward. It was the only way to honor the memory of my family and to prove to myself that I was more than just a helpless girl.

"Watch me, Cato," I vowed, my voice barely audible even to myself. "One day, you'll choke on your own words."

"Pathetic."

The harsh, mocking voice cut through the air like a whip, and I instinctively tensed. Rena stood before me, her tall, lean figure clad in gladiator armor that only accentuated her muscularbuild. Her dark hair was pulled back into a tight braid, revealing fierce, brown eyes that seemed to bore into my soul.

"Can't even land a single hit, can you?" she sneered, circling me like a predator assessing its prey. "And yet you dare call yourself a gladiator."

"Leave me alone, Rena," I snapped, clenching my fists so tightly that my knuckles turned white. "I don't need your taunts."

"Maybe not," she replied, her tone dripping with condescension. "But you obviously need help if you ever want to survive in the arena. Look at you – you're not even holding your sword properly. Do you want to die?"

"Of course not!" I spat back, my frustration and anger mounting with each passing second. "But I'm doing the best I can. What more do you want from me?"

"Your best isn't good enough," Rena shot back, her piercing gaze never leaving my face. "You think this is some sort of game? You think you can just waltz in here, pick up a sword, and suddenly become a warrior? It doesn't work that way, Livia. You have to fight for it, bleed for it, suffer for it."

"Shut up!" I screamed, unable to contain the torrent of emotions that threatened to consume me. "You don't know anything about me! You don't know what I've been through, what I've lost!"

"Doesn't matter, sweetheart," she snapped. "None of that will help you when you're facing a real opponent in the arena. You'll just be another pretty little corpse."

"Go to Hades!" I yelled at her, my vision blurred with tears of anger and frustration. "You have no idea what it's like to lose everything or to have nothing left to live for except vengeance!"

"Vengeance?" Rena laughed. "How do you plan on getting that if you can't even fight properly? You're no gladiator, Livia. You're just a girl playing at being one."

I stared at her, my words gone as the truth of her words hit home like a spear to the chest. I turned around and drove my fist into the wooden surround again and again until the skin on my knuckles split and began to bleed. I leaned my forehead against the wooden post, breathing hard, fighting back furious tears. There was no way in the world I'd let any of them see me cry.

"Livia." Rena's voice came from behind me, a little softer than it had been before. I turned around to look at her, hating the expression of pity she wore. I didn't need her pity. She must have seen the expression on my face, because her lips pressed together.

"Look, I know you're frustrated, but you can't let these idiots get to you. You've got to prove them wrong."

"Prove them wrong?" I repeated, my voice cracking. "How am I supposed to do that when I can't even beat any of them in a sparring match?"

"By getting better, by working harder," Rena answered, her eyes searching mine. "You've got the heart for it, Livia. Now you just need the skill."

"Easy for you to say," I muttered, looking away from her.

"No, it isn't. You think I didn't go through what you did?"

"No," I said, looking straight at her. "I don't. You arrived here a warrior, already trained, already strong. I don't think you have a clue what I'm going through."

"Really? How do you think I became that warrior, Livia? You think I woke up and was born like this?" She gestured to her strong frame. "No, I worked hard for this. Training long hours, getting knocked down and getting back up again every single Inferi damned time. Just because I didn't do it here in the arena, doesn't mean it didn't happen."

I considered her words. Maybe she had a point.

"Let them talk," Rena urged, her voice full of determination. "You just keep pushing yourself, and one day you'll prove them all wrong."

"Maybe," I admitted, though doubt clenched in my heart. "Or maybe they're right, and I'm just fooling myself."

"Only one way to find out," Rena replied, giving me a small smile.

---