Page 55 of Realms of Swords and Storms
"You should rest," she said instead, her hand gentle on my arm. I nodded, but as she turned to leave, I caught her wrist, suddenly unwilling to let her go. The warmth of her skin beneath my fingers was an anchor, something real and solid when everything else felt like it was slipping away from me.
She looked back, surprise flickering across her features, then something deeper, more understanding. Without a word, she settled beside me on the bed, her weight creating a comforting dip in the mattress.
"I've missed you," she said softly, her fingers tracing the line of my jaw. "You've been so distant lately."
The simple truth in her words cut through me. I had been pulling away, creating space between us without fully realizing it. Fear of what I was becoming, of what lurked beneath my skin, had made me erect walls I hadn't even recognized.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, turning my face to press a kiss into her palm. "I didn't mean to."
She shifted closer, her free hand coming to rest on my chest, just over my heart. Through the thin fabric of my shirt, I could feel the heat of her touch, steady and reassuring.
"Talk to me, Tarshi," she urged, her voice so gentle it made something inside me ache. "Whatever it is, we can face it together. We always have."
I looked into her eyes, saw the woman who had never flinched from me, never feared me, even when others did. The womanwho had seen me at my worst in the arena and still chosen to be with me. If anyone could understand the monster I feared becoming, it would be Livia.
But the words wouldn't come. Not tonight, not with the memory of my transformation still so fresh, not with Kalen's mysterious plans weighing on my mind. Instead, I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine, pouring everything I couldn't say into the kiss.
She responded immediately, her hand sliding up to cup the back of my neck, drawing me closer. Her lips parted beneath mine, a soft sigh escaping her that sent heat coursing through me, momentarily eclipsing the fever of my wound.
When we broke apart, her eyes were dark, pupils dilated with desire. "I've missed this," she murmured, her fingers threading through my hair. "Missed you."
"I'm right here," I assured her, though we both knew it wasn't entirely true. I hadn't been fully present with her for weeks now.
She seemed to read my thoughts, a small furrow appearing between her brows. But instead of pressing me, she simply leaned in again, her kiss more insistent this time, demanding a response I was powerless to deny her.
My hands found her waist, drawing her closer until she shifted to straddle me, careful to avoid my injured leg. The new position brought her core directly against my rapidly hardening length, and we both groaned at the contact.
"You need to rest," she said, contradicting her actions as she rolled her hips against mine.
"This is better medicine than anything in the apothecary," I countered, my hands sliding up beneath her tunic to find the warm skin of her back.
She smiled, a flash of white teeth in the dim room. "Is that so?"
"Proven fact," I assured her, my own lips curving into an answering smile despite everything. She had always been able todo this—to pull me back from the darkness, to remind me that there was more to life than struggle and pain.
Her hands went to the laces of my shirt, working them loose with practiced efficiency. "Then who am I to deny you your medicine?"
I watched her face as she bared my chest, the simple focus and appreciation in her expression warming something deep inside me. The way she looked at me—as if I were something precious, something whole and good—was a gift I had never deserved but desperately needed.
She bent to press her lips to my collarbone, trailing soft kisses across my chest and down to my stomach. Her hair, loosened from its braid, fell around us like a curtain, tickling my skin. I ran my fingers through the silky strands, marvelling as always at how something so simple could feel so profound.
When she reached the waistband of my trousers, she glanced up, a question in her eyes. I nodded, lifting my hips slightly to help as she unlaced and carefully removed them, mindful of my bandaged thigh. The air was cool against my heated skin, a pleasant contrast to the warmth of her touch as she settled between my legs.
"Let me take care of you," she whispered, her breath hot against my most sensitive flesh.
Before I could respond, her mouth was on me, warm and wet and perfect. A groan tore from my throat, my head falling back against the pillows as pleasure surged through me. My hands found her hair again, not guiding, just connecting, needing that point of contact as she worked me with lips and tongue.
The sensation was exquisite—too much and somehow not enough. But as pleasure washed through me, something else rose alongside it—a heat that had nothing to do with desire, a pressure building inside my chest that felt dangerous, uncontrolled.
My heartbeat accelerated, pounding in my ears like war drums. The room seemed to darken around the edges, Livia's form the only thing in clear focus. Each pulse of pleasure from her ministrations was matched by a surge of something primal and frightening—power, rage, a desperate hunger I couldn't name.
My fingers tightened in her hair, no longer a gentle connection but a grip that might hurt her. I forced myself to loosen my hold, but the effort cost me. My skin felt too tight, as if something beneath it was pushing to get out.
"Livia," I gasped, but my voice sounded wrong—deeper, rougher, almost a growl.
She made a soft, questioning sound, misinterpreting my distress as encouragement. The vibration of it against my sensitive flesh sent another wave of pleasure crashing through me, and with it, another surge of that dangerous heat.
My vision pulsed red at the edges. I could feel it happening again—the transformation, the change I'd been fighting for weeks. But this time it was different, more intense, fuelled by passion and connection rather than rage. Somehow that made it more terrifying, the idea that even love could trigger the monster within me.
