Page 84 of Realms of Swords and Storms
"You know that's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean? If it's safe enough for you to be in the crowd, it's safe enough for me. Unless you're admitting it might be dangerous after all?"
Livia's mouth opened, then closed, caught in the trap of her own logic. I suppressed a smile. Octavia might not have been trained in combat, but she was formidable in her own way.
"Fine," Livia conceded finally. "But you stay close to me, understand? If anything happens—anything at all—you run. Don't wait for me, don't try to help. Just run."
"I'm not completely helpless, you know," Octavia said, a hint of injured pride in her voice. "I may not be a gladiator, but I know how to take care of myself."
"I know you're not helpless," Livia said, softening. "I just... I couldn't bear it if something happened to you because of me."
The genuine affection between them made my heart twist with a complicated emotion—joy that Livia had found friendship in this harsh world, sadness that I had never been able to provide her with the simple companionship she clearly needed.
"Besides," Octavia added with a small smile, "how could I turn down the chance to watch history being made?"
"It will certainly be historic," Antonius agreed, though I noticed he didn't specify what kind of history it might be. The northerner had become increasingly cautious over the past weeks, his initial enthusiasm for the resistance tempered by a growing wariness that mirrored my own.
The conversation shifted to practical matters then—where to meet before the festival, what to wear to blend with the crowd, signals to watch out for from the resistance leaders. Throughoutit all, I kept glancing at Livia, noting the tension that still lined her face despite her engagement with the plans. She was worried about Tarshi, about Septimus, about what tomorrow might bring.
And so was I.
As the evening wore on, Antonius eventually rose to leave, citing an early morning obligation. He paused beside Livia's chair, his massive hand resting briefly on her shoulder.
"I have great respect for Tarshi," he said quietly. "He is a man of honour, regardless of his bloodline. And I could never think less of you for seeing in him what others are too blind to recognize."
Livia looked up at him, relief and gratitude plain on her face. "Thank you, Antonius. That means more than you know."
He nodded, a slight flush colouring his weathered cheeks, then ducked out the door with surprising grace for a man of his size. I watched him go, noticing how Livia's eyes followed him, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She thought highly of him, that much was clear, but I doubted she realized the depth of his feelings for her. Antonius had confided in me weeks ago, awkward and uncertain in a way that had been almost endearing from such a formidable warrior.
Octavia tactfully busied herself with clearing away the tea things, giving Livia and me a moment of relative privacy.
"I meant what I said," I told her, keeping my voice low. "I'll find Septimus, make sure he's not doing anything stupid."
"Thank you," she said again, her hand finding mine. "I'm sorry to drag you into this mess."
I smiled, squeezing her fingers. "If I recall correctly, I've been dragged into your messes since you barged into my room at the ludus and demanded I train you. Why stop now?"
Her answering smile was tired but genuine. "We've come a long way from the ludus, haven't we?"
"We have." I paused, considering my next words carefully. "I know you're worried about tomorrow, about Tarshi, about all of it. But whatever happens, we'll face it together. All of us."
"Even Septimus?" she asked, a hint of bitterness creeping into her voice.
"Even Septimus," I confirmed. "He's an idiot, as Octavia so eloquently put it. But he loves you, in his own broken way. And I think... I think he might love Tarshi too, though he's too afraid to admit it, even to himself."
Livia's eyes widened slightly. "You think so?"
"Why else would he be so angry? Why go to such lengths to deny what's between them?" I shrugged. "Fear makes people do terrible things, especially to those they care about most."
She considered this, her face thoughtful. "I hope you're right," she said finally. "I hope there's still a chance for them, for all of us."
"There is," I assured her, with more confidence than I felt. "Tomorrow will be a new beginning. You'll see."
As she left a short while later, Octavia accompanying her back to the academy to ensure she arrived safely, I stood in the doorway watching them go. Two women, so different in temperament and experience, yet bound by a friendship that had grown strong in the face of shared adversity.
I closed the door, my mind already turning to the task of finding Septimus before he could do something we would all regret. But beneath that immediate concern, a deeper worry gnawed at me. Something about tomorrow's demonstration felt wrong—a subtle discord in the planning, a too-easy acceptance from the Imperial authorities, Kalen and Mira's increasing secrecy.
I had learned long ago to trust my instincts, and right now, they were screaming a warning I couldn't quite decipher. As Igathered my cloak and slipped out into the night to begin my search for Septimus, I could only hope I was being paranoid.
