Page 32 of In You
"He's gone, Camilla." I say in a soft tone as to not startle her. "He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."
Her eyes slide to mine, swollen and red. "Savior?" she says in a weak voice, wetting her lips. Her eyes are so dark and haunted that I want to cry with her.
Throat tight, I nod my head, feeling myself melt. "Yeah, honey. I'm right here."
Her eyes squeeze back shut, her fingers spread when she holds her arm out, searching for me. Half terrified out of my mind, I place my hand into hers, and then dare to pull her to me. I'm so fucking exhausted, and she's so limp that it's difficult and slow going with her cast, but by some grace of God I settle her next to me on the bed. Feeling ashamed I can't even pull her on top of me like a man would.
Her head lolls on my shoulder, and she falls back into an exhausted sleep.
When I try to pull from her, she claws her fingers into my neck. I settle my back into the headboard and take a deep breath, wrestling the tangled covers over us only to wake up four hours later to a text from Alexander that he's headed to us from theairport. Exhausted, I look down at her sweet face, still asleep, wondering if she finally found peace.
Or if she's dreaming of the sea.
One hundred thirteen thousand, and eighty four men.
That's my body count. One of the highest I know.
There's so much blood on my hands that my consciousness is thrumming to life with it even as my soul is weighed down with the responsibility of my actions. And not one of those men, if asked to describeme,the man who killed them, would ever count "savior" in any description.
Butshedoes.
Even knowing what I did to Calvin and Joseph, and it's a heavy burden I will carry for the rest of my life.
I flip the eggs in the skillet, checking my watch to make sure we have enough time to eat before Alexander's arrival. Trying to cover all my bases here, I have two pans going; one with fried eggs, one with scrambled eggs, and a pot of boiled eggs. There's a little dish with softened butter on the side, and some jelly on the table with a spreader spoon that was my sister's. There's fancy oat bread in the toaster because I was not chancing making bacon or sausage after what happened last night, but something doesn't feel right about serving Tamryn just plain eggs for breakfast.
Setting them to the side, I make my way down the hallway and find her sitting up in bed, blinking sleepily like she'd just woken up. And I wonder how much of the night she remembers, if any. I know I remember every second of it. Her screaming out for her mom fucks me up in ways I didn't know were possible.
I eye the little bags under her eyes, her washed out complexion, and feel a twinge of pity for her.
"Hey, sweetheart," I call in a low voice, placing my shoulder against the door trim. "You sleep good?"
"Yesss." She yawns, stretching her arm so hard that I hear her back pop and see the color of her nipples through the white of the tank. I rub a hand against my mouth, wrestling my common sense back into place when my neglected cock hardens, and clear my throat. "I slept better than I have in a long time. This bed is so comfortable."
"Good, you deserve to sleep well.” I bring up a hand to rub my neck, wondering when the next peaceful night of sleep is coming for me. Seems like I’m not going to get it for a while. “Hey, I got breakfast ready, and wanted to let you know the psychiatrist is on his way. He should be here in about an hour. That should be plenty of time to eat if you don't take too long washing up. I got you a toothbrush in there and another set of clothes. My pajama bottoms this time, since you’ll be meeting with a man."
Her eyes flick to mine. The color comes to her cheeks, and I realize too late how possessive I just came across.
"Thanks. I'll be right there."
I nod, pushing off the door and then striding back into the kitchen to feed the dogs and wait for her. Exactly an hour later she's eaten the fried eggs and three pieces of toast slathered in butter and strawberry jam, licking the tip of her forefinger when my phone goes off with the first alarm. I look at it, seeing Alexander's on the property.
"Alright, he's almost here. You ready?"
She nods, turning in her seat to face me when I carry our dishes to the sink. I put them in, turning on hot water and pouring dish soap in to suds up. "But, Caleb, what am I meeting with a psychiatrist for?"
It's enough to let me know I'm talking to Tamryn this morning. Acting fast, I grab her pill bottle and open it, setting it in front of her. As she takes her pain pill I consider my next words carefully, not sure if it'll trigger her and not wanting to cause her mental distress right before Alexander gets here. But, I decide she deserves the truth.
Who knows how long she's been lied to?
I go back to the sink, reaching in to drain the water, glancing over my shoulder. "Because, you have been through a horrendous amount of abuse, and this is the best man in his field. He can help you."
A muscle in her face twitches, and she looks down at the floor between our feet before bringing her eyes slowly back to mine. "But I'm...I was…" she trails off.
I turn, leaning my hips on the counter and then take a few seconds to wipe my hands off as I study her.
"I know neither of us know each other very well, but I have noticed there's something going on with you mentally. We just want to check you out to make sure we aren't missing anything, sweetheart. I'm asking you to trust me. Just like I'm trusting you."
Her brows shoot up. "Trustingme?"I nod."How do you mean you're trusting me?"She blinks rather blankly, letting me know she isn't connecting the dots.
