Page 41 of In You
"I'm sorry," I say quietly, moving my head to the side to try and get his attention. It works. His dark eyes slide to mine, and I bring my hand up to place it over the one on my hair. My heart bangs heavily, and my eyes flicker between his as I wet my lips, feeling anxious because I want him to want to confide in me. "You can tell me. You can talk to me instead of coming down here and crying. You saw what you saved me from. You know how the Captor used to beat me. Right?"
His eyes turn wary, and I dare to press.
"You sit with me when I have my nightmares. What do I look like turning my back on your pain when you need me too?" I ask, immediately flinching and averting my eyes in shame. That was way too forward. "I mean…not to say you need me-"
"No," he says fast, bringing his other hand to my chin and tilting my head back to his. "No, sweetheart! I want you here. Thank you…thank you for saying that."
His eyes are warm pools of honey brown as they stare down at me, and my nails dig slightly into the skin of his arms as I sway into him.
"You're welcome," I whisper. I feel something shift inside me, something strong that's holding me up, and it's not Caleb, either. Those sharp eyes bore into mine, and I get the feeling he's searching for something. So I try. I try to give him something to latch onto. "You can tell me about it, you know. I'll understand."
I feel sick saying those words, but my mind leaves my situation and drifts to Caleb. If he killed his mom, there's a story there that I desperately need to know.
My heart tugs for him. Exactly thirty-eight excruciatingly long heart beats that he spends staring into my eyes. That's how long he makes me wait. That's how long it takes for him to be comfortable to begin to talk. I didn't even know I could hold a man's eye contact this long without wanting to cry.
I mean, I kinda want to cry for him, because this is rough.
His eyes, so brooding and intense, become even more so when he begins to speak. "Did I ever tell you why I was at the Captor's house, Camilla?"
I frown slightly, shaking my head. "No, I don't think so." My heart begins to beat wildly at the mention of him. I don't want to think about him. Caleb saved me, I don't ever have to talk about him ever again. My face perspires lightly, and I bite my lip, fighting to turn and make a run back upstairs and to Tink. But his next words bowl me over.
"It's because he raped an underaged girl, and the girl's father hired me to kill him. And I was also promised that there'd be a little girl there for me. That's what I do, Camilla, I wipe the earthfree of pedophiles. I'm a gun for hire, but only for the ones who deserve it."
I think my world draws to a dead stop.
"What?" I say incredulously. "I never, ever saw him-he never brought anyone over the house…"
My words trail off as something else clicks into place. And if Caleb's racing heart is any indication, he sees it.
"Wait, sooo you mean when your mom did stuff to you, you mean…y-you mean…" My hand flies up to cover my mouth.
His face tightens and he shifts on his feet uncomfortably.
"Yeah," he says softly, his eyes falling from mine. "I mean."
My chin quivers, and my face screws up with hurt for him. Because to be honest, it looks like what she did could have happened just yesterday by the look in his eyes. He's not over it. I sniff, and bring my good arm up to wrap around his neck, standing up on my tiptoes.
"I'm so sorry," I cry, burying my face into his neck when he leans down to accommodate our size.
He makes a rough sound in his throat and then winds his arms around me, drawing me almost off my feet in a hug so soothing that I think it heals a little bit of me. I only hope it heals a little of him, too.
"Me too," he rasps quietly. "Me too, baby."
16
Moms
Caleb
Twenty Two Years Ago
"LookatMommy'slittlewhore,"William sneers, laughing with the other men running besides me. He lets out a raunchy, childlike sounding moan that turns my stomach so bad I almost vomit. "Oh, mommy! That feels so good,mommy.I love your hot snatch, mommy. I don't remember it feeling this good when I came out of you, but now I get to comeinyou!"
They all laugh callously at me. Mocking me mercilessly.
I ignore them.
William and some of the others broke into the psychiatrist's office and read his notes in my file. About what happened to me. And life's been hell since.
