Page 75 of In You
"I keep seeing this man's face in my mind. Think he might be my father. I have so many blank spots in my memory it's hard to tell."
His brow goes low, his eyes narrow a bit, and he goes so silent I'm scared I crossed a boundary I didn't know he'd erected.I look back at the chicken, wondering if I should change the subject when he finally speaks: "I thought you'd never met your father, Tamryn?"
I frown, poking at the chicken again. "No…I distinctly remember this guy, so I must have met him at least once. He's got brown, silvering hair, glasses. A bit older. I'm pretty sure I met him."
Caleb puts down his whiskey and stands next to me at the stove, giving the green beans a stir. "Do you remember anything else about him?"
Tilting my head, I furrow my brow, thinking hard. The memories flicker, super hazy and hard to see. "Yeah, he had kinda big ears."
"Hm," Caleb hums. He turns, putting his hand on my shoulder. I don't flinch, instead I lean into him, my eyes wide and hoping that we can connect, that we can get over this awkwardness between us. But he just stares into my eyes and then tightens his lips, disputing that thought as fast as I had it. "Tam, I need to tell you something. I'm having someone over tomorrow."
I inhale raggedly. "A-" I avert my face, feeling like I'm going to cry. "A woman?" I whisper, tears clogging my throat. That’s why he’s been so distant maybe?
"What?"he breathes, getting a confused look on his face. He sighs, turning me to face him and then puts his hand to my cheek. "No. Tamryn, I would never do that to you. I care for you too much. I'd like to see…" Now it's his turn to avert his gaze. His eyes go lower to my neck and I see so many thoughts inside that I wish he'd share. "I'd like to see if maybe we could pursue an actual relationship."
My heart begins to beat just a bit faster with hope, but before I can say anything his eyes snap to mine.
"But I think I'm too damaged," he says quietly. "I'm meeting with my old general, Frank."
His shoulders lower, and he looks so defeated that it scares me, because Caleb always seems so strong, like he knows what to do in every situation.
I bring up a hand, almost putting it to his chest before I snatch my touch back at the last second, remembering this is what set him off a few days ago. Instead, I put my fingers to his lips and stroke gently, ignoring the grease bubbling right next to us. My nerves pop right along with it, and I find myself being even more vulnerable.
"You're not too damaged to me," I say softly. "I think you're just so beautiful and perfect, Caleb."
His eyes come back to mine, and his lips twitch as he fights a grin, and loses. It breaks across his face as a little disbelieving scoff blows between his lips.
"I'mserious!"I slap his arm lightly. "Don't laugh at me!"
That does make him laugh. Surprising me, he takes a step forward and wraps those big, strong arms around me, and then puts his lips to my shoulder, trying to stem it. My heart pitter patters weakly, and it's all I can do to stay standing upright as my knees threaten to buckle, and my cheeks blush warmly.
I brush my lips to his ear, then pull back slightly so I can get to his cheek. I nuzzle him, willing him to turn his face to me so I can kiss him. He does, groaning as I press my lips to his slightly. It starts off slow, hesitant. I part my lips and touch the tip of my tongue to his bottom lip, trying to let him know I want more. His hands tighten against my back, my arms loop around his neck, and my pussy clenches as he pulls me almost impossibly hard against him.
We alternate between kissing softly, then hard, like neither of us are sure exactly how we want it. But we stay with our connection, rocking into each other as we explore with our lips,teeth, and tongue. I whimper, wishing I could touch his chest. Silently willing him to let me.
"Just let me in a little more," I whisper, pulling back slightly and catching his gaze. There's still so much hurt there. His eyes dip to my lips, and I nibble my bottom lip before standing up on my tiptoes to press my mouth back to his. "I want you," I whisper, feeling my heart open. "Caleb, I need you."
It aches, but I have to try anyway. He needs me, too.
He groans, pulling away from my mouth with a small smack and presses his forehead to mine. The muscles of his shoulders flex beneath my fingers as he reaches next to us and pulls the cast iron skillet to another burner and then turns off the fire.
"The chicken's done. Let's eat," he says quietly, pulling away from me.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
We eat dinner in silence that's a bit more uncomfortable than it usually is, and when we're done. I look at him expectantly.
"Thank you for dinner, it was delicious," he says, grabbing my plate and then taking it to the sink to rinse and then load the dishwasher.
"You're welcome."
He turns to me, wiping his hand on a dishtowel he folds and throws on the counter. "I'm going to take a shower, and call it an early night before Frank comes in the morning."
"Okay…uhm, want me to join you?" I ask hopefully.
"Not tonight, Tam," Caleb says, bringing a hand up to rub at the nape of his neck. He looks so tired. "Get some sleep, okay? I'll see you in the morning."
I nod, watching him disappear down the hall, and then, curious, I wait until I hear the shower running and then head down the stairs to the basement. Intending to do some snooping.
