Page 108 of Nanny for the Bodyguard
It's clear all of us have been through so much. It goes without saying that we're going to need some time to find ourselves again, but everybody around us has been extremely understanding.
They've given us all grace and allowed us to take this time to be quiet, even Olivia.
Easton's friends have sent so many gift baskets in the past few hours. It's wild.
This morning, I snuck out of bed while Easton was still sleeping to make myself a cup of coffee. I just needed to sit by myself for a little bit, think through all these crazy thoughts running in my brain.
The house is still so quiet, and the sound of the coffee maker gurgling away seems like a scream. A pleasant one, though.
The rich scent of the grounds brewing fills the air, and I go find my favorite mug, putting it beside the pot that I'm making full enough for Easton and I to have several cups.
When there's enough of the good stuff to fill up my mug, I pour myself a cup. I don't add cream or sugar this time, somehow wanting it black, and I take my mug outside onto the deck.
The wind is gentle against my skin, and I can hear crickets singing. It's peaceful back here. It smells like the pool and that hot summer air I got so used to smelling every morning.
The hammock gently waves in the breeze, and I can watch the steam rise from my cup as the morning light comes up behind it.
It's not long before Easton joins me outside.
There's this weird, thick tension between us, all these words unspoken, and I'm not sure how to get them out.
This is what Olivia warned me about.
“Hey,” Easton comes over and sits by me, “I know I've said this a million times, but thank you for everything you did for Jade. There are no words that can express how grateful I am for everything you've done.”
My heart warms at the sentiment.
“I know we have a lot in front of us, a lot of time to heal and to get comfortable again. But I've been thinking a lot, before the incident with Jade and after, and I want you to really move in here. I know that you basically were, but you were living in the guest room, and the relationship was supposed to be fake. I don't want those things, Hazel. I want you to live with me. I want you to sleep in my bed. I want to hold you in my arms. Move in here because the thought of not having the woman I love by my side every day breaks my heart. I can't bear that.”
It's about 6:30 in the morning, and I've been nursing this cup of coffee for about thirty minutes. And the man sitting next to me just told me he loves me.
Disbelief and wonder and joy and relief flare through me like a burst of light from the sun. I can't believe this is happening.
All my worries about where we were going after this, and Easton has just come out and said he loves me and he wants me to live with him.
He chuckles as he scoots closer to me, taking the coffee cup from my hand and setting it down, and taking my hands in his.
“You look a little shocked, and I can't say that surprises me much. I know I just came out here and blurted all that in front of you, but like I said, I've been thinking about this for a while, and I don't want to pussyfoot around things with you anymore. I don't want to be scared or hold back.”
Easton sighs, holding my hands tight in his as he lays it all out there.
“I've always felt like love is an invitation for pain, and I'm never going to live up to the expectations of everyone aroundme. I'm not going to be a good enough dad. I'm not going to be a good enough boyfriend or a good enough son. But I know all of the baggage I carry is because of my relationship with my parents. It’s not the relationship I have with you; it's not the relationship I have with Jade. So, I'd like you to stay…if you want to.”
My eyes are burning with tears, but I'm not sad. My hands are in front of my mouth as I continue to gape at Easton, utterly shocked.
And then it hits me that this really is real.
I throw myself into his arms, squeezing him against me as tight as I can. “Are you serious? Are youreallyserious? You can't just say these things and then?—”
“I'm serious, Hazel. I love you. Having you around me has healed a part of my soul that my early life almost took away from me. But love doesn't have to be scary, and you've shown me that. Yes, our lives have been anything but calm as of late, but that has nothing to do with how wonderful a woman you are and what you mean to me. Stay with me, Hazel, Stay with me forever.”
I'm overcome with all the emotions flowing through me, and all I can do is cling to Easton, surging with so much love that I can barely keep it in. In fact, I don't.
I look him in the eyes, I put my hands on the side of his face, and I crash my lips against his and kiss the ever-loving hell out of him.
After a moment, I finally lean back, the taste of him still strong on my tongue and so much better than the coffee. I meet Easton's eyes again.
“Of course, I will stay with you. I will stay with you for as long as you will have me, Easton. I've loved you since the moment I saw you in that stupid bar, and losing you before almost killed me. But finding you again, no matter how rocky the road has been, will always be the best thing that has ever happened to mein my life. Iloveyou, I love Jade, and I want the three of us to build a life together.”
