Page 114 of If the Stars Align
My brow furrows. Now I understand.
“I also found out what a jerk my biological father was.” She sighs. “I’ll tell you the whole story later, but…on the bright side, I know more about who I am now. I’m a quarter Lebanese and a quarter French. It explains a lot.”
I grin. “That’s why you always wanted to study in Paris.”
She nods. “And why Sam and I gravitated toward each other. She’s half Lebanese. She said she suspected all along, because I love Middle Eastern food so much. I actually bought a Lebanese cookbook recently.” She bites her lip. “I decided I can’t let my feelings about the man who fathered me keep me from learning about my culture.”
I take her hand in mine. “I’m really happy for you, Sunny. You’re such an amazing woman. You always have been. But…I think you finally know it now.”
Her eyes well with tears again. “You’re right, I do. And I haveyouto thank for that, Dex. Your Oscar speech gave me the courage to let go of everything that wasn’t working in my life. You made me want to be my best self.” She chuckles. “You also helped me get into grad school.”
I tilt my head. “Oh yeah? How did I do that?”
“You were the inspiration for my writing sample.” She looks down at her lap, and when she takes her gaze to mine, her cheeks flush again. “I wrote about us. I wrote…our story.”
My heart’s racing, but not because I’m anxious. It’s because I’m about to get an answer I’ve been waiting an entire lifetime for. “How does it end, Sunny?”
She takes her hand away from mine and unzips her purse.
Then she pulls out a folded-up piece of notebook paper and gives it to me. “It ends like this,” she says.
As soon as I hand Dex the letter, I yank it back with trembling fingers.
“Sorry,” I stammer. “I probably should have asked you this before, but…you’re not secretly married, are you? Or engaged? Or?—”
“No. I’m not in a relationship.” Dex half-smiles, and it’s all I can do not to wrap my arms around him and kiss the hell out of him for all eternity.
But first, I need to give him this letter. Just like Summer gives her letter to Rex at the end of the story I wrote.
With a sigh of relief, I hand it back to him. He takes care in opening it, like he knows he’s holding a piece of my heart, and I watch as his eyes skate across every line of my confession. What begins as a half-smile on his lips becomes a full one—and I’m filled with a sense of hope, like I’ve never felt before.
When he’s done reading, Dex meets my gaze, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he takes my hand and threads his fingers through mine. I turn to face him, eagerly awaiting his response.
But he says nothing.
My mind starts to race.
Yes, he’s single—but what if he’s gotten over me?
Yes, he’s smiling—but what if he’s trying to think of a way to let me down gently?
Yes, his eyes are gleaming—but what if the look I see isn’t love so much as nostalgia?
When Dex finally opens his mouth to speak, it occurs to me that my letter doesn’t tell the whole story. Only a fraction of it. And he deserves to know everything.
I’m done holding back the truth.
“Wait—” I tell him. “Before you say anything, I want to explain. I wrote you this love letter ten years ago, when we were seniors in high school. I never gave it to you because…the timing wasn’t right…but I’ve carried it with me ever since. I took it to college. To law school. To Paris, and Chicago. On my first day going to court by myself, I had it tucked inside my briefcase. See, I tucked my feelings away, Dex, but they’ve always been here. No matter how hard I tried to hide it, or fight it, I have always loved you. And I always will.”
Dex lets go of my hand and looks down at the letter again.
My chest tightens.
“Did youreallyquote Savage Garden?” he says, still staring at the crinkled piece of paper.
I laugh despite my nerves. “Give me a break, okay? It was 1998.”
But when he doesn’t say more, my gut clenches as I brace myself for the worst.
