Page 28 of If the Stars Align
“God I missed that sound,” Dex says, his lips meeting the space between my breasts as I run my fingers up his neck and into his hair. Then our mouths find our way back to each other, and his hands are massaging my thighs, and I take his bottom lip between my teeth and bite until I feel him smile.
I pull back and lock eyes with him, and the way he’s looking at me makes me feel wildly alive in a way I haven’t felt in months. In a way I only ever feel when I’m with him.
“I need you,” I whisper, almost pleading, and when I lift my hips he pushes into me, and I let out that moan he likes again without even thinking. He clasps his arms tight around me and says, “Isn’t it insane how we fit together so perfectly?” I nod and kiss him eagerly, my hands moving up his body, every part of us touching, even our eyelashes fluttering against each other’s as we move together. He feels so damn good, I never want this to end. But eventually our bodies give in, and we surrender. And we’re smiling, and sweaty, and breathless.
Another little death.
“Jesus,” Dex says into my neck. “That was incredible.”
“I know,” I say with a satisfied sigh. “Although…I’m pretty sure I bonked my head on the ceiling once or twice.”
“Come here,” he says, and I tilt my head to let him kiss the spot I’d just been rubbing. “Next time we’ll do it in my bed.”
“I can’t wait,” I whisper before I kiss him again.
“How about tomorrow night?” he says, his mouth travelingback to my nipples. “My parents are going out.”
“Your mom and dad…they still don’t know about us?” I ask.
Dex looks up from my breasts and shakes his head.
I bite my lip. “What if we told them? I mean, my house isn’t an option for obvious reasons, but we can probably be honest with your parents, right? It’d be nice not to have to sneak around so much.”
Dex’s eyes shift back and forth a couple of times.
He’sthinkingabout it. My heart sinks.
Eventually, he shakes his head. “It’s risky, Sunny. I mean, you don’t want your mom to know about us—and I get that. But what if one of my parents lets it slip somehow? You know how chatty my dad gets. Remember last summer, when he saw your mom at the hospital and told her you were practically living at my house?”
I let out a puff of air. “Yeah. That did kind of suck. No…you’re right. Better safe than sorry.”
Hedoeshave a point. But I still feel uneasy.
I’m not good enough for him. What if he’s ashamed of me?
“Shit,” he says, leaning back and running a hand over his hair. “I forgot I told Seth I’d hang out with him tomorrow night.” He groans. “Maybe I can reschedule.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say with a casual shrug that I hope masks my disappointment. “I’ll come over on Monday while your parents are at work.”
But it turns out, it’s not that simple.
The next day, Dex’s dad offers me an internship I simply can’t refuse. I mean, I could—I have plenty of opportunitiesto babysit again this summer. But if my mom were to find out that I’d rather hang out with toddlers than get firsthand experience in a law office, she’d disown me. At least this way I can spend quality time with Mr. Dexter, and my mom can’t complain because it’ll look great on my law school application.
I actually learned something interesting about Dex’s dad when he offered me the internship. We were talking about his first law job, and I asked if he’d always wanted to be a lawyer. I was sure he’d say yes, so imagine my surprise when he told me he once dreamed of being a writer. He said he’d “written it off” (pun intended) as too impractical.
It was like he stuck a pin in my hopeful heart and it deflated. Mr. Dexter is one of the most reasonable people I know, and I’ve always trusted his judgment. Ifhedidn’t think he could manage a successful writing career, it surely doesn’t make sense for me to hold onto that dream.
I’ve all but let it go at this point anyway. Outside of my schoolwork, I have very little time for reading or writing. I’d been thinking about taking a fiction writing course in the fall—just for fun—but after chatting with Mr. Dexter, I think a law seminar would be more sensible.
A few days after I start my internship, Dex lands the role of Lysander in a community theater production ofA Midsummer Night’s Dream. He told me the director was in tears during his audition. While I’m thrilled for him, of course, his rehearsals run late into the night again, which means we need to get creative about spending time together.
Gone are the lazy days of last summer and the long, blissful,hours we spent in his bed. Now our meetups are sporadic, last-minute, and often very late at night, which gives them an almost surreal quality. Sometimes I’ll wake up in the morning, alone in my bed, and wonder if I imagined it all. A fever dream. Memories of our trysts flash through my mind like a movie trailer. Dex’s mouth on me in the bathroom of our favorite little bistro. His hips against mine in the shower while his parents are hosting a game night downstairs. His hands on my breasts while I straddle his lap in a very small dressing room at the mall. His eyes, his smile, wispy and ethereal, fading into the next scene.
Apart from hooking up with my maybe-boyfriend, I see Mia about once a week, usually for lunch somewhere near the law office. But that’s about all the time we get, because my nights are always reserved for Dex. Mia understands. Plus, she has Evan. Their summer schedules are perfectly aligned.
That’s how summer flies by, in a febrile haze. And marking the end, this time, is Ben’s wedding, which I’ve been looking forward to since spring, when Dex asked me to go with him. I was sure, by this point, he’d be calling me his girlfriend. But the wedding is today, and that still hasn’t happened.
It’s one of those relentlessly hot days—the kind where the heat soaks into your skin and stays there long after the sun goes down. While the rest of the bridal party are flushed and sweaty, and even a bit wilted after taking wedding photos outside, Dex is somehow impervious to the humidity and looks like an actual movie star in his tuxedo as he accompanies the bride’s pre-teen cousin down the aisle. Every female in the room has some sort of reaction to him, from wide eyes, to giggles, to swoony sighs.And when the bride walks in, blushing and radiant in her satin gown, I turn to glance at Ben catching sight of her from across the room. Instantly, my eyes fill with tears. And I know I’m not imagining things. The way he looks at her—it’s the same way Dex looks at me…
