Page 61 of If the Stars Align
My head starts throbbing. I’m dizzy and starting to wonder if I’m actually going to be sick when my cell phone rings. It’s Dex. Like he knows, somehow, that I’m in a grocery store two thousand miles away, staring at pictures of him with another woman.
“It’s not true,” he says, the moment I answer the phone.
I let out a sob. I turn to leave the checkout line, and the woman standing behind me gives me a sympathetic frown as I walk away.
“Sunny, youhaveto believe me. Tess is gay. Her girlfriend broke up with her. I was trying to help her feel better.”
“Dex,” I sigh out. “What are we even doing?” My lip is quivering. “We haven’t seen each other in months. I feel like I barely know you anymore. I mean—you’re out to lunch wearingChristian Dior? Since when do you care about labels?”
“I don’t. It was a gift. I’m a walking billboard,” he explains. “People give me free shit because they know I’ll get photographed wearing it. Look, Sunny, I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now. But I promise you have nothing to worry about. I just booked a flight to Chicago,” he says. “I’ll be there next weekend.”
I nod and take in a breath. “Okay.”
“Sunny, I need to know that you trust me.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks. Everyone who walks past medown the cereal aisle is staring at me. I step to the side because a mom with an adorable curly-haired toddler needs Cheerios, and I’m standing in her way.
“I do,” I tell Dex. “But that doesn’t make this any easier.”
The following weekend, Dex is in my apartment. He kisses me as soon as he walks through the door, and it’s slow, sensual, his fingers traveling up the nape of my neck, into my hair, cradling the back of my head, like nothing has changed. Suddenly I have amnesia and forget all about how tough the last several months have been. About my fear of losing him. Or not beingenoughfor him. About Tess, and the tabloids, and all of that shit. I can hardly remember my own name. All I can think about is how much I want him. So I pull him into my bedroom, and we make up for lost time again.
Afterward, we’re sitting up in bed. I lean against his chest, and he wraps his arms around me.
“Are you excited for Paris?” he asks.
I recently decided to study abroad in the fall. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to in college. I’m about to start my third and final year of law school, so this is my last chance. I wrestled with the decision, but Dex is becoming more famous by the second, and with each opportunity that comes knocking at his door, the threat of losing him becomes more real. I need Paris to distract me. But I do my best to hide my insecurity when I answer him.
“I’msoexcited,” I say. “I’m going to have coffee and croissants every morning, and walk down cobblestone streets with a tote full of baguettes, and drink wine with my friends while we pretend to study. My classes will be pass/fail, so I don’t even have to worry about my GPA. It’s going to be amazing.”
“That’s awesome,” Dex says, hugging me. “Is, um, Jeremy, going?” As I’m leaning against him, I feel his heart rate pick up when he asks me.
“Oh,” I say, adjusting myself to look at him. “No. He isn’t.”
This is the first time Dex has ever asked me about Jeremy. I hope I haven’t given the impression that I’m remotely interested in him—because I’m not. Jeremy and I are just good friends. I could have sworn I told Dex that Jeremy was in a relationship. Maybe he forgot. “Um, did I tell you that Jeremy’s girlfriend goes to med school here? I actually met her last week. She’s nice.”
The truth is, she was a bit prickly. Jeremy said she was tired from her obstetrics rotation, but I got the distinct impression she didn’t like me.
Dex clears his throat. “That’s cool. Well, Paris is going to be incredible. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” I say, leaning against him again. His heart rate has slowed back down.
“I actually have some news,” Dex says next after a brief pause. “I wanted to tell you in person.”
I adjust myself again. “What’s up?” I ask. Nowmyheart is racing.
Dex half-smiles. “I got cast in a movie,” he nearly whispers.
I feel like the wind was just knocked out of me.
This is it.
He’s going to be a movie star.
And I’ve never seen him happier in his life.
“It’s an indie film, so the budget’s smaller, but the director’s amazing,” he continues. “I’ve seen all of her work. Her last movie won the Audience Award at Sundance.” Dex shakes his head in disbelief. “I think this could be big, Sunny.”
I take in a breath. “That’s amazing!” I exclaim as I pull him in for a hug. I close my eyes and squeeze him as tightly as I can.
