Page 87 of If the Stars Align
On the bright side, Jeremy’ssupremelyproud of me. He says I’m the one-in-a-million litigation associate who’s just as stellar at making oral arguments as she is written ones. The fact that he’s this impressed by me—especially when he’s so quick to point out how completely inept most people are—makes me feel high as a kite.
I wish I didn’t find his validation so intoxicating. All I can hope for is that my extraordinary courtroom skills are a sign that I actually do belong there, but my nervous system is just slow to catch on. When it does, maybe I won’t feel like I’m trying to shove a square peg into a round hole all the time. And I won’t need Jeremy’s validation this much.
My boyfriend would never dream of being the first associate to leave the office like I am today. He insists on putting in face time, and refuses to call it a day until the majority of partners are well on their way home. He’s often encouraged me to do the same, but he has no idea that I’m barely treading water right now. If I don’t setsomeboundaries at work, I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to put up with this job before it breaks me. For the time being, I tell him that I have a reputation at my office for being exceptionally efficient, and that I don’t need to worry about staying late as much as the next associate. By the grace of the litigation gods, this explanation seems to satisfy him.
When I make it back to his apartment—which I’ll officiallymove into once my lease is up this summer—I take a steaming hot shower in an unsuccessful attempt to melt the week’s tension off my body. Afterward, I put on my pajamas and start packing for our weekend trip to Beachwood.
We’re leaving first thing tomorrow morning, and I’m anxious. Odds are, I’m finally going to learn the truth about the man who fathered me. And why—as far as my mom’s concerned—he’s dead to us. Although I definitely see the value in asking these questions, I’m still not sure I want to know the answers.
When I’m finished packing, I plop down onto the couch and turn on the TV. I must pass out mere seconds later because, when Jeremy walks through the front door, my favorite house flipping show is nearly over, and I don’t remember watching any of it.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he says, kneeling to kiss me. “You feeling okay?”
I nod through a yawn. “Just wiped out from work. How was your day?”
“Pretty damn good,” he says with a rare gleam of excitement in his eyes. “I have news.”
“Wait, wait—don’t tell me,” I say, perking up a bit. “You made partner. And you’re the first attorney in history to do it in less than two years.”
He smirks. “Very funny.”
“No? Let me try again. The President called. He wants you to be his Chief of Staff.”
Jeremy rolls his eyes. “You’re something else, you know that?”
“Okay, I’ve got it this time. You read an obscure book onvirology last night and figured out how to cure the common cold!”
He laughs. “Is there a two-drink minimum for this little comedy routine of yours? Maybe I should I take a seat—it seems like you’re on a roll.”
I giggle. “Nah, don’t worry. Show’s over.” I grab him by the collar and pull him close so his lips are hovering over mine. “I missed you this morning,” I say.
Jeremy had to go into the office at an ungodly hour today, so he didn’t wake me up in the way I’ve become accustomed to.
“I missed you more.” He closes the gap between our lips, and his kiss is so good it makes me moan. “You can’t get enough of me, can you…” he says.
All I can do is shake my head. I have no clever retort, because it’s the truth. Being intimate with Jeremy is far and away the highlight of my day. And it’s the perfect stress release from the immense pressure of my job. Needless to say, I’ve beenverystressed lately, and I think my boyfriend’s picking up on the fact that I’m a little bit addicted to him. Of course, he doesn’t mind.
“Quick, tell me this news of yours before I get distracted again,” I tease.
“Well, I hope you had a nice catnap, because we’re going out,” he says. Then after a beat, he adds, “Go get dressed,” apparently surprised that I haven’t hopped off the couch yet.
But my tired limbs remain glued to the soft leather beneath them as I raise one exhausted eyebrow at Jeremy. “Out? Where? And, more importantly…why?”
“Well, it just so happens I’m among a very small group of attorneys who were cherry-picked by our newest partner tohave dinner with a prospective client tonight. If we reel in this business, it means big money for the firm, and I’ll be part of the team that made it happen.”
“Wow,” I exclaim, my eyes wide. I’m happy for Jeremy, but I’m also sleepy, and I hear it in my voice. I don’t sound as impressed with him as I am—and he notices.
“What’s the problem?” he asks with a furrowed brow.
I shake my head. “No, nothing. I’m really happy for you, babe—I’m just tired from work. I was hoping to get to bed early tonight since we’re leaving for Beachwood first thing tomorrow morning.”
He rolls his eyes. “Come on, Sunny. It’s just dinner. We have to eat anyway, right?”
I let out a little groan. “Can’t you go without me? I’m already in my pajamas.”
Normally, when I’m lying on the couch like this, Jeremy sits close to me and puts my feet in his lap. But he doesn’t do that now. He gets up from where he was kneeling beside me and sits in an armchair. I have to shift upright so I can see him. I watch as he drags his fingers through his hair and clenches his jaw.
“Babe, everyone on the team is married, and they’re all bringing their spouses,” he says. “I’m already the youngest associate of the group, which puts me at a disadvantage. If I show up alone, I’m going to look like the kid who just graduated from law school, and the client won’t give two shits about my opinion on how we can best defend their case. I need to stand out for my intellect, Sunny, not my age. If I can dazzle this client with a great defense strategy and help seal this deal for the firm, I’mbound to be selected as second chair again if we go to trial.”
