Page 88 of If the Stars Align
As is often the case when I’m talking to my boyfriend, I’m smiling despite myself. “You and your obsession with being second chair. Can’t you let anyone else have a turn?”
Jeremy doesn’t see the humor in my joke. “No,” he says flatly.
I let out a sound that’s halfway between a whimper and a sigh. “These dinners always go on endlessly, you know that. We have to make our way through a million courses, and the wine pairings, and dessert—and that’s only the beginning. Somebodyalwayssuggests going for drinks afterward, and then we’re out until two in the morning. I really can’t do that tonight, babe. Besides, you’re brilliant, and your words speak for themselves. You don’t need me on your arm for people to take you seriously.”
His nostrils flare, and he’s quiet for several seconds before he says, “Fine.”
When he gets up and goes to the bar cart behind me to pour himself a glass of whiskey, my gut clenches.
Jeremy can be moody sometimes. I didn’t notice it as much when we were just friends. It was mostly witty banter between us back in those days. I wonder if he used to come home from studying with me at the library and get gruff like this on the phone with Anjali.
I wonder if it bothered her the way it bothers me.
The vast majority of the time, he’s showering me with love and affection so, when heisn’t, it knocks the wind out of me.
I get up from the couch and walk over to him. “Are you mad?” I ask, my heart rate picking up.
Jeremy shakes his head but doesn’t look me in the eye. Andhe doesn’t say anything. He downs his whiskey then stalks into the bedroom.
I follow him. “I know we were planning to take your car to Beachwood, but I can drive if you want. That way, you can stay out as late as you need to tonight and sleep in the car tomorrow,” I suggest, hoping he’ll come around.
When he finally looks at me, his gaze is glacial. “I think you should sleep at your place tonight. I can drop you off in a cab on my way to dinner. You’re tired, and I don’t want to wake you when I get home.”
His words are like a punch to the gut. I honestly don’t know whether I want to give him a piece of my mind or burst into tears.
I settle for both. “Are you serious, Jeremy? I haven’t slept at my place in months. Are you really going to send me away because I’m drained from working my ass off and need a night in?” My eyes are stinging and I wipe at them with shaking fingers. “I feel like you’re punishing me for trying to take care of myself.”
He’s looking through his closet for something to wear and doesn’t turn to face me. “Don’t be ridiculous, Sunny. I’m not punishing you, I’m being considerate.” His tone is icy and sends shivers down my spine.
“Do you even hear yourself?” I ask him, my voice quavering. “Do you realize how cold you sound? It’s like a switch flips, and you turn from Jekyll into Hyde sometimes.”
He’s silent.
Now I’m just pissed. “You know what? Iamgoing to go back to my place tonight.”
I start gathering some things I need from the bathroom whenI feel his hands on my waist. He turns me to him.
His brow’s still furrowed, but the ice caps in his eyes have melted, and now his gaze is soft and warm. He’s back—the Jeremy who looks at me like I’m his entire world. Who makes me feel safe and loved. I’m so relieved to see him that I allow myself to melt too, into his arms.
“Forgive me,” he says into my ear. Then he kisses my tear-streaked cheek. “Work has me on edge. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I promise I’ll do better.”
I sigh and look into his eyes. “Why are you so stressed?” The high-stakes world of litigation is where Jeremy thrives, unlike me. Work doesn’t usually get to him at all.
He looks down at the floor. “I fucked something up earlier this week,” he says, squinting his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I got lazy doing some legal research—something I’m well awareyouwould never do, which is why you’re a much better lawyer than I’ll ever be—but I missed something big that could have been a disaster for us in court. Luckily the senior associate who gave me the assignment knew enough to catch my mistake before it was too late.” He lets out a heaving breath. “I’m just so fucking mad at myself. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells at work right now. That’s why tonight’s such a big deal for me.”
I’ve never heard Jeremy admit to making a mistake at work before. But as attracted as I am to his confidence, it’s actually a relief to see him this vulnerable. Considering his strained relationship with his parents, Jeremy doesn’t trust easily. I know he wouldn’t dare show me this side of him if he didn’t really fucking love me.
It feels good to be reminded of that. When he’s cold and withdrawn, I sometimes question it.
“I’ll go with you,” I say.
He shakes his head. “No, babe, you’re tired…and I was being an asshole. I don’t want you to feel obligated to go. I never should have cut corners on that assignment—this is my mess to clean up.” He gives me a sweet, gentle kiss on the lips. “Please forget what I said. You stay here and get some rest. If I get home late, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I bite my lip. A wave of guilt pours over me. If I’d known this dinner was so important to Jeremy, I would’ve said yes from the beginning.
I probably should’ve said yes, regardless. I mean, here’s this wildly intelligent, broodingly sexy man who believes he looks better withmeby his side. Who’s chosenmeas his partner to take on the world. How could I say no to that?
“I’m going with you,” I tell him. “You don’t have to do this alone. We’re a team, just like you always say.”
