Page 35 of The Edge of Summer
I cringe. “Remember when that garbage juice got all over you and you ran home to shower?”
“Delilah Delacroix!” she mock scolds as she retakes her seat beside me. “The boss steps out and you decide to have a make out session with her brother?”
“It wasn’t amake out session.” Okay, it kind of was. “Andhekissedme!” My voice comes out shrill, and I realize too late that that only makes me seem more guilty.
“But the real question is: did you kiss him back?”
When I don’t respond right away, she raises a brow. I groan, covering my face again. “I shouldn’t have brought this up. I really don’t think I should be talking about this with you.”
“Let’s forget that he’s my brother for a second. This is what friends do, Dee. Hallie and I used to talk about stuff like this all the time. It’s not the same with her living in Toronto now, so Ineedthis. You are my only friend herebesides my brothers.” She exaggerates her frown and puts her palms together in prayer. “That’ssad. Please?”
“Well, you’re my only friend, period,” I counter. I didn’t have many to begin with, and the few that I did have had no idea how to act around me after what happened with Mitchell. My parents’ deaths only made things worse, so I stopped reaching out. “We can be sad together.”
“Deal.” Then she looks at me expectantly. “So…?”
“I may have accidentally kissed him back. Just a tiny bit.”
“Accidentally? Delilah!” She shoves my shoulder and I pretend to topple over from the embarrassment.
“Clara!” She bites her smile, but an excited hum still manages to escape her. I can see her brain churning as she tries to spin this into one of her romance book plots. I shake my head as I point a reprimanding finger in her direction. “Don’t get your hopes up. It was just a kiss.”
Areally goodkiss. A kiss I’m going to measure all kisses, past and present, against. But that’s all it was. When Jimmy walked in on us, the look on Luke’s face was one full of regret. So even if I wanted it to mean something, he obviously doesn’t. The only way forward is to pretend it never happened.
“Sure. That’s what all the main characters say.”
“Seriously, Clara! This is not one of your books. There is no happily ever after in the cards for me and Luke. There is nome and Luke.”
She pouts. “Ugh. But your tropes would be sogood!”
“I don’t even know what that means, but no. Just no. Can we talk about something else?”
“Fine,” she agrees. She takes another sip of her drinkbefore narrowing her eyes at me. “When are you going to enter Carole’s photography contest?”
I should have known that changing the subject would backfire on me. Clara has the uncanny ability to pick out exactly what I’m trying to avoid and then talk about it until I can’t escape. It’s very annoying when I’m trying to ignore all my problems.
“Any chance we can talk about another something else?”
Clara shakes her head. “Sorry, lady. It’s either Luke or the contest.”
I slump in my seat. “I hate you.” She only grins in response. I take a healthy sip of my drink before speaking. “I’m not entering,” I declare.
“But—”
“I know how you feel about that, and I really appreciate the confidence you have in me. But I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”
I can’t exactly put into words why I feel so hesitant. What happened was years ago now. It shouldn’t matter anymore. But it does, and I hate that it still affects me. Clara would probably think it’s a stupid excuse. EvenIthink it’s a stupid excuse, yet here I am, using it as a way to justify not doing something that I want to do.
My friend studies me for a moment. I worry that she can see straight through me, as if I’m made of glass. I squirm under her scrutiny—fidgeting just as she said.
“Okay.” I breathe a sigh of relief as she accepts this. “I get it. You’ve got a lot going on.”
That is the understatement of the century. I thought I had everything under control, but now every day feels likemore is being piled on. Hell, I still haven’t gotten around to getting my headlight fixed. It has become a permanent fixture on my to-do list.
This time last year, I only had myself to take care of. Don’t get me wrong, I do not regret taking my siblings for even a second. But going from a mostly functioning single adult to suddenly having two people depending on me for almost everything is exhausting. Still, I would do it again a hundred times over.
“What about you?” I ask, desperate toactuallychange the subject this time.
At this, Clara blushes. The natural scarlet compliments the pink headband she has on. “What about me?”
