Page 91 of The Edge of Summer
I take a healthy sip of my drink—beer, not water like usual. It was already shaping up to be a long day at work before I caught Parker with the paint. Having to call Delilah and tell her that her brother was committing vandalism was just the cherry on top of a shit pie.
Clara sighs. “I’m not sure what to say to convince you that this is different. That itcouldbe different. I just want you to know that it sucks watching you deny yourself something—someone—you clearly want.”
It’s the wanting that scares me.
That night, I found out just how little my fiancée truly cared about me. I don’t want to be in that position again—meaning less to someone than they mean to me. I gave Kristina everything and I got nothing in return. I want to believe that Delilah isn’t like her, but every time I try to thinkabout the future, my chest tightens with something I can only describe as anxiety.
I finish off my drink and slide the empty glass toward my sister. Then I slip off my stool. “Night, Clarebear,” I say with a nod.
I can feel her worried eyes on me as I head out the door. The air has cooled off some from this afternoon, but the heat is still palpable. When I get to my truck, I roll the windows down, and then I just sit there as the small breeze filters through the cab.
Delilah deserves the world. She deserves someone who can give her everything she needs. Someone who isn’t me.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
DELILAH
Thingsbetween me and Parker have been even more strained than usual since Luke called me to the station the other day. My brother spent all day yesterday cleaning the paint off the building, and he’s been holed up in his bedroom since he got back.
I can’t help feeling defeated. I don’t know what to do anymore. Right after our parents died, everything was hard. But then my relationship with Parker deteriorated so fast, I blinked and it was gone. I don’t know where I went wrong.
It doesn’t help that today marks one year since they died. Parker decided to keep to himself this morning, but I spent the time with Sophia. We made cookies and ate them for breakfast, and then we binged all her favourite Barbie movies. Clara called to check in at one point and I almost broke, but I managed to keep it all together.
Now I’m on the edge of losing it all over again. I feel bad leaving my siblings at home, but I need a minute to breathe.
Just got to the gallery. I’ll pick something up for dinner later.
Not my finest moment as a guardian, serving takeout two nights in a row, but it’s all I can do to keep myself afloat.
Parker sends me a simple thumbs up. Even though his response isn’t atypical, I can still feel the chill of our disagreement. I’ve been at odds with my brother countless times over the years, but never to this degree. Something is wrong, and once we have each had some time to breathe, I’m going to get to the bottom of it. He can’t dance around it forever.
Carole greets me at the gallery’s door. Today she wears a long sleeve tunic dress in an earthy brown colour. Her necklace hangs from her neck, a big owl with bright feathers on the end resting on her chest. An outfit repeater, she is not.
“Hi, Chickadee,” she says with a bright smile. “What brings you in?”
Despite my rotten mood, I still manage to return her smile. “I was hoping to get a head start on organizing my photographs for the exhibition.”
Her smile falters. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I have an appointment to get to. I’m closing early today.”
“Oh.” I try not to let my disappointment show. “That’s alright. I’ll come back another time.”
She thinks for a moment. “Tell you what. I’ll shut everything down, but you can stick around and do your thing. So long as you lock up and set the alarm before you skedaddle.”
“Are you sure?”
Her smile returns as she pulls a chain from around her neck. It was hidden by the giant owl, but on the end hangs akey. She hands it to me without hesitation. “I’m sure,” she says. Her eyes gain a little twinkle. “That Lucas is a lucky, lucky boy.”
I falter, almost dropping the key. Luke and I were never actually together, but that apparently doesn’t stop Maggie’s friends from talking. I nod stiffly. “Thanks again, Carole. I’m just going to grab some stuff from my car. I’ll be sure to take care of everything before I go.”
When I turn to head back outside, she stops me with a hand on my arm. “Are you doing alright, Chickadee?”
The concern in her voice and on her face nearly makes me crack. Coupled with Parker’s distance, I’ve been feeling rather fragile the past few days. The first anniversary came up faster than I was expecting and I’m not sure how to feel. I don’twantto feel.
I try to smile reassuringly. “I’m fine! Just a little tired.”
She doesn’t look like she totally believes me, but she lets me go nonetheless. I take the chance I’m given and head out to my car. From the trunk, I grab my camera bag and the box of picture frames I picked up from the thrift store on the mainland.
