Page 100 of Middle Ground
“Jackson.”
My orgasm rocks through me, and I clench around him. My thighs quiver, but he keeps up his pace, drawing out the aftershocks of my pleasure. And then with one final thrust, he’s tumbling after me.
His head falls to the crook of my neck, where he places a light kiss. We stay like that, his body over mine, his dick inside me, for a few moments. I find myself running my fingers through his hair as I work to catch my breath.
Jackson heads to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, and when he comes back, he has a cloth in hand. I sigh as the warmth hits my skin where he cleans up our mess. I know I should get up to use the bathroom, but my limbs don’t want to move.
I’ve never been one to cuddle after sex. Yet one round in a bed with Jackson has me burrowing under the covers, resting my cheek against his naked chest as he draws patterns on my back with his fingers.
I think that’s why I’ve avoided having sex in a bedroom with him—I knew once I did, it wouldn’t just be fast and dirty fucking to scratch an itch anymore. I knew it would be something real.
I’ve never truly had real before. It’s as scary as it is exciting.
I want to say something. Ishouldsay something. I owe itto myself to address these feelings, even if he doesn’t feel the same. But hedoes. I know it. I can’t be alone in this.
It takes me a good few minutes, but I eventually work up the courage to speak.
“This doesn’t seem very casual anymore,” I whisper.
His quiet sigh ruffles my hair. “Baby, I don’t think it ever was,” he replies.
I shift in his arms so I can face him. Half lying on my stomach, I regard him with something akin to hope.
“We’ve both been pretty damn good at lying to ourselves,” he continues. “This isn’t just sex. If you say it is, then you just haven’t been paying attention.”
Jackson lazily trails a hand down my bare back. The contact makes me shiver.
“Oh, yeah?” I challenge. “What should I have been paying attention to?”
His hand retraces its trail up my spine until it rests at the back of my head, fingers tangling in the strands of hair at my nape. Strangely, I again feel like weeping at the tender way he caresses me.
“The way I admire your uncanny ability to connect with everyone you meet. Even when you don’t want to.” He sends me a pointed look. “And I love the way your pretty blue eyes look when you first wake up. The way your cheeks flush when you’re mad, but even more so when you’re shy about something. Your smart mouth, even though half the time it’s used against me.”
“If I didn’t know any better…” My heart hammers so hard, I can feel it in my throat.Be brave. “It sounds like you’re trying to be my boyfriend, Vaughan.”
“If the fact that I can’t fucking get enough of you hasn’t clued you in, let me be clear,” he says. “I want you, Meyer Ellison. However you’ll have me.”
My lips part. “What?”
“Let me date you.”
“You want to…date me?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
It used to be. But I realize now that every moment I’ve spent with Jackson has culminated into this.
“No,” I reply, biting at my lower lip. “You’re sure?”
He laughs, pinching my waist. I swat his hand. “Yes, Meyer, I’m sure.”
Slowly, I nod. “Okay. I just—” I suck in a deep breath. “Please don’t break my heart.”
My whispered plea settles between us, and Jackson’s gaze turns even softer.
“Never,” he vows.
I believe him. It’s strange, feeling this secure. I haven’t felt that in a long time, if ever. But everything feels settled when I’m with him. Like I can fully be myself and he won’t leave.
